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I'm distancing myself from everyone (girlfriend, old friends, etc). Like I mentioned before, I get anxious these days and I prefer spending time alone. Perhaps it does say something about my character. But that's the way I feel and there's no point in denying it.
Regardless of if your parents are biological or not, they seem to love you very much. Don't punish them, because they are the ones that will always be there for you. The only thing different now is that you are more aware of your surroundings and the fact that you seem like you don't fit in. It's a phase, like someone else mentioned we all go through this once in a while. Your parents are still what seem like the very loving cool people who raised you and your friends would go to bat for you in a second. Don't shut out the ones you love when you are feeling this way. In fact, lean on them even more at this stage. Possibly express how you feel to some of them. I guarantee you that they will say that your pigment doesn't matter, and that you are still the same old knucklehead they love. Give yourself a break. Once again, we all go through times when we feel different/ alone, etc.
You're young. You might not completely understand what I am saying now, but in time you will. Again, your parents seem like angels. Pushing them away isn't fair to them. They only want to help and love you. Give yourself a break too. Possibly this new "culture shock" is just that "culture shock", and you would have had to deal with the cruel world outside of your safe bubble sooner or later.
Good luck to you. I wish you well. Give yourself and your parents a break. Love brings it all back around.
Regardless of if your parents are biological or not, they seem to love you very much. Don't punish them, because they are the ones that will always be there for you. The only thing different now is that you are more aware of your surroundings and the fact that you seem like you don't fit in. It's a phase, like someone else mentioned we all go through this once in a while. Your parents are still what seem like the very loving cool people who raised you and your friends would go to bat for you in a second. Don't shut out the ones you love when you are feeling this way. In fact, lean on them even more at this stage. Possibly express how you feel to some of them. I guarantee you that they will say that your pigment doesn't matter, and that you are still the same old knucklehead they love. Give yourself a break. Once again, we all go through times when we feel different/ alone, etc.
You're young. You might not completely understand what I am saying now, but in time you will. Again, your parents seem like angels. Pushing them away isn't fair to them. They only want to help and love you. Give yourself a break too. Possibly this new "culture shock" is just that "culture shock", and you would have had to deal with the cruel world outside of your safe bubble sooner or later.
Good luck to you. I wish you well. Give yourself and your parents a break. Love brings it all back around.
Great post super. I especially love the bolded.
You are truly a superman, and thank you for all the wisdom you have shared.
Regardless of our race, we are a result of those we associate with. Whether it is family or friends, we tend to talk and think like those around us. Be thankful you have two loving parents and don't let the color of your skin let you lose out on the two people who love you like no other. Life is too short and they will not be around forever. We as people all of our differences, but we are more alike than we might think. As long as you associate with good people that have a strong character, the color of their skin is really irrelevant. People need to rejoice in our differences, and love those that are able to return the favor.
What you are experiencing has as much to do with being 22 years old as it does with your skin color. You want to fit in, and are having to deal with an age group that does not handle diversity well. As you get older, you will find that there are many black, middle class professionals who are just like you.
BTW, in the USA the epithet is "Oreo." Black on the outside, white on the inside. Just tell them you have as much right to your skin color as they do. Be strong.
OP, you're questioning that your life experiences have brought you to this "negative" point. Had things been different or "better," would you even be alive today?
Careful about the wishing. Spend your time being grateful to and for the loving parents and friends. They are the ones who value you. The outliers that you reference don't matter. Aren't people being jealous sometimes when they say you shouldn't be this or that or where you are or where you've been?
Hang in there friend. Most of us go through some identity issues at your age. Leaving home, meeting lots of new people, being challenged on a lot of things. Plenty of challenges even when we don't have the race issue you do. It does make you stand out a lot. But you seem like a well rounded, level headed person with good solid character. That will get you past your barriers and challenges.
I cringe to think of other Blacks tormenting you about being with Whites. I recall growing up in the southern US in the 60's and 70's. I was sometimes picked on by other Whites because I had Black friends. I did have my prejudices but never got a full dose of race politics that some people did. Hopefully you will meet other Blacks at the university that are not so extreme, that you are comfortable around.
I hope you decide to pursue challenges against the police. Police officers are supposed to be partly about representing justice, along with keeping order & pursuing criminals. A shame when they become the thugs. They should not get away with it.
op, sounds like you could use a hug right about now. I wish I knew what to say but I don't and I feel your pain nonetheless. seek guidance and direction from professional resources and don't turn away from your family. let your family know exactly what you are feeling and going through. try to be strong and hang in there and i'm sure you will make it through this tough time in your life. I'll have you in my prayers and thoughts in the days to come so hang in there and things will get better. best wishes to you
The pressure to be accepted by peers is incredibly intense. Few people of any age have the inner strength to be their own person. We have gangs with awful results. We have fraternities and sororities that haze and have bizarre ceremonies which young people will endure to be accepted. Many people abandon their families, their parents to be in a particular group. There are people in prison due to that psychology. In the case of the OP, race is a part of it but not all. His situation is a bit unusual because of his adoption and by a white couple. I imagine the same would occur with a white kid adopted by a black couple though that would be even more rare. This young person is caught between 2 worlds which I think our President experiences. Homosexual couples who adopt might see this same thing occurring when their child goes to school and is harassed by "straights".
Life is messy. It is unfair. It is complex. Some people adapt. Some don't. Everyone is different in their strengths and weaknesses. The OP will have to find his own way no matter what. Hopefully he will be strong enough to remain loyal to a couple who were loyal to him but it isn't automatic. It is a conscious decision to accept a difficult situation and just deal with it as best he can. Nothing stays the same.
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