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Find her a good financial planner or financial firm who can assist her with reducing her debt and reducing how many credit cards and their limits. I know a woman who's husband did that for her because he was tired of it.
If your sister lives with her at her house with her and her kid then there may be some financial responsibility to assist with living expenses your mother is incurring by having her live there.
Why am I getting the feeling there is a lot more missing information to this story to form any type of educated opinion and advice?
I hate when people give "advice" like this. If someone is deadazz broke, what makes you think they can afford a "financial planner" or "financial firm"????? And no one else should have to pay for this!
All a financial planner can do is to show you what you already KNOW you should be doing but you're NOT doing because you lack the discipline to do it.
My sister gives them money for food and the car insurance. They'll ask for money to go on dinner dates. Which is not the responsibility of sister and I to finance
They'll ask her for money? This means your Stepfather is just as culpable in this situation as she is. I did edit my post before you got to it asking what's up with him?
I hate when people give "advice" like this. If someone is deadazz broke, what makes you think they can afford a "financial planner" or "financial firm"????? And no one else should have to pay for this!
All a financial planner can do is to show you what you already KNOW you should be doing but you're NOT doing because you lack the discipline to do it.
Before you jump on me and bite my head off - there are firms which are non-profit to help people with credit card debt. They actually take your credit cards, negotiate with the credit card firms to reduce the debt and interest and often consolidate and then she would make weekly or monthly payments to the non profit agency instead of to the credit card company. You just need to do a little homework to find them which is easily done on the internet and I would suggest a local one in her area. They also have contractual rules about obtaining any more credit cards during this process too and 'holds' on a person's credit so they can't just go out and obtain more cards during this process. They also provide financial counseling for all other areas to reduce the likelihood of this happening again.
When I was at my former job I had an account with a Credit Union and they would consolidate your credit cards and take them and you just made payments to them. It was much easier to get a consolidation loan with them than a bank.
So, there are options which are FREE. So, just calm down.
Last edited by Thursday007; 01-04-2014 at 11:34 AM..
I hate when people give "advice" like this. If someone is deadazz broke, what makes you think they can afford a "financial planner" or "financial firm"????? And no one else should have to pay for this!
All a financial planner can do is to show you what you already KNOW you should be doing but you're NOT doing because you lack the discipline to do it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007
Before you jump on me and bite my head off - there are firms which are non-profit to help people with credit card debt. They actually take your credit cards, negotiate with the credit card firms to reduce the debt and interest and often consolidate and then she would make weekly or monthly payments to the non profit agency instead of to the credit card company. You just need to do a little homework to find them which is easily done on the internet and I would suggest a local one in her area. They also have contractual rules about obtaining any more credit cards during this process to and 'holds' on a person's credit so they can't just go out and obtain more cards during this process. They also provide financial counseling for all other areas to reduce the likelihood of this happening again.
When I was at my former job I had an account with a Credit Union and they would consolidate your credit cards and take them and you just made payments to them. It was much easier to get a consolidation loan with them than a bank.
So, there are options which are FREE. So, just calm down.
You beat me to the response. There are places that do financial counseling for free.
She keeps asking because you guys given to her before. If it really about you that much, so taking her calls and emails and ignore her requests.
My MIL always kept asking for money too and we gave her over 10k in such a short time period... when my husband finally said NO-- MIL was willing to sabotage the relationship by having a complete meltdown and saying lots of things she shouldn't. Now that she's over her little tiff (which she never apologized for), she still ask for money and favors then "wonders" why my husband doesn't have anything to do with her. Some things you just don't take personal because it's not worth entertaining the thought.
There is still the issue with the Stepfather I have asked about a couple times and haven't gotten a response about. Something isn't right there if he is asking your sister for money too and doing nothing about your mother. So, what's up with him?
There is still the issue with the Stepfather I have asked about a couple times and haven't gotten a response about. Something isn't right there if he is asking your sister for money too and doing nothing about your mother. So, what's up with him?
My stepdad actually pays us back when he asks for money. He rarely asks us though. It's mostly for food. He doesn't support my mom's habits and is pretty much over trying to find a way to help her because she's not willing to help herself.
My stepdad actually pays us back when he asks for money. He rarely asks us though. It's mostly for food. He doesn't support my mom's habits and is pretty much over trying to find a way to help her because she's not willing to help herself.
Then I would suggest taking a cue from him, if he's fed up and not willing to help her and THEY are asking your sister for money for dinner dates, he's just as culpable in the matter. I'd just stop and find her a non-profit agency to assist her with her debt and if she doesn't follow through with it then it's not your problem you did what you could and if she isn't going to help herself you are just feeding her problem.
If she follows through with the non profit credit card firm she will actually have more cash flow during the month and will have to just deal with paying cash for everything.
Dinner dates are not a necessity of life. It does not fall into the same category as shelter and food to live, etc. Dinner dates, vacations, etc. are the little extra luxuries of life. No one that is in deep debt and needs money can have the luxuries until the situation of debt and no money has been rectified. Others should not support those luxuries for them. You don't have to even say no - just say " I can't - I don't have the money to loan".
It sounds like the stepfather has stopped feeding the credit card monster. Take a cue from that. He should not be asking for money for dinner dates. Sounds like both have a problem.
My mother also goes through money like water - with no idea of where it went. We don't give her money because it is just going into a gigantic hole.
Your sister should be paying monthly rent too. Why isn't she?
And why doesn't your stepfather pay for dates?
Is there mental illness involved?
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