How Do You Act When Meeting New People? (lips, money, feel)
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When you meet new people (other people's friends, family, etc), are you gushingly nice, or are you polite but hold back a bit?
I'm polite when I meet people, but I don't get too close too soon, because I need to scope each person out until I know they're someone who I can be myself with. I think that's normal.
But, I have been told by others that I come across as aloof sometimes and they think I don't like them, because I'm not overly warm or welcoming towards new people. For me, I would rather hold back a bit and know who I'm dealing with than be an "everything to everyone" type because I want everyone to like me.
I don't want to be cold towards others, but I just don't feel comfortable being someone's best friend right off the bat...
Just be yourself. You don't need to be someone's "best friend right off the bat", any more than you need to be "aloof" or "cold".
After 25 years being in health care and meeting thousands of people I'm pretty comfortable talking to anybody. I'm just my usual warm friendly self. If somebody doesn't want to talk I can respect that too. Why be annoying when there's somebody friendlier around the corner?
I tend toward polite, but aloof or reserved. If I'm introduced to a new person, I perform the usual niceties, but I don't gush, gab, or act overly friendly, or overly intimate. If we do have small talk, I tend to crack a joke about the context we're currently both in.
I know people who when introduced to someone for the first time, actually tend to hug them!
I understand that to some people, that's just "normal friendly" but to me it seems very, very odd.
Nice to meet you too, let's cuddle! Um, no.
This is how I am. I would never be called "friendly". I'm horribly shy, and people mislabel this as stuck up or aloof.
This is how I am. I would never be called "friendly". I'm horribly shy, and people mislabel this as stuck up or aloof.
I feel your pain about being assumed aloof. My ex's family was Italian and they were all very in-your-face and outgoing. It's just the way they are. I was pretty uncomfortable with this at first, because it's not what I grew up with. Likewise, when he spent time with my family he was like, why is everyone so cold and intellectual? LOL .
When you meet new people (other people's friends, family, etc), are you gushingly nice, or are you polite but hold back a bit?
I'm polite when I meet people, but I don't get too close too soon, because I need to scope each person out until I know they're someone who I can be myself with. I think that's normal.
But, I have been told by others that I come across as aloof sometimes and they think I don't like them, because I'm not overly warm or welcoming towards new people. For me, I would rather hold back a bit and know who I'm dealing with than be an "everything to everyone" type because I want everyone to like me.
I don't want to be cold towards others, but I just don't feel comfortable being someone's best friend right off the bat...
When I meet new people I am friendly and try to engage them in something more than small talk. I agree with the earlier poster who said the world is full of interesting people and experiences. I try to make a connection---sometimes the vibe is there and sometimes it is not. But it's always worth a try, in my book. The one thing I do NOT do when meeting someone for the first time is ask what they do for a living. There are so many more interesting things to talk about than our jobs.
I'm pretty aloof when meeting new people if it's outside of a business setting and that can sometimes be mistakenly read as shyness which can sometimes be annoying. I'm not a huge "people person", I'm used to people generally being disappointing or boring so I normally enter these situations with fairly low expectations to begin with.
When I meet new people I am friendly and try to engage them in something more than small talk. I agree with the earlier poster who said the world is full of interesting people and experiences. I try to make a connection---sometimes the vibe is there and sometimes it is not. But it's always worth a try, in my book. The one thing I do NOT do when meeting someone for the first time is ask what they do for a living. There are so many more interesting things to talk about than our jobs.
See I like to hear about what people do for a living. It's so interesting to me. I like hearing about why they picked the career they're in and how that rounds them out as a person (or not). Love that kind of thing.
Well, sometimes you can't avoid small talk, chatting, socializing a bit, etc. I always find the best way to do that, is to try to get people talking about their favorite subject: themselves!
Just get them going, and a few nods, some uh-huhs, and they'll think you're the most brilliant conversationlist on the planet! Try it some time.
This made me laugh because it's so true and it really works!
After 25 years being in health care and meeting thousands of people I'm pretty comfortable talking to anybody. I'm just my usual warm friendly self. If somebody doesn't want to talk I can respect that too. Why be annoying when there's somebody friendlier around the corner?
Exactly! I've worked in customer service for over 50 years and it amazes me that I probably have interacted with "thousands of people" over those years. I've been able to talk to anybody since I was a little kid and my mom was always telling me to NOT be so friendly. Customer service has always been a 'natural' for me and my personality.
When I have annoying customers I just tell myself that they are only going to be in my life for a few minutes and I can deal with it. In restaurants I said an hour and then gone. I honestly have very few annoying customers though and that's saying something considering how many go through my register every day.
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