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Seems to be happening more frequently. At least I can get behind the wedding invitations that ask for cash to go toward a home downpayment in lieu of gifts that won't fit in an already cramped apartment. Fairly recently, some friends and I were chased down in the parking lot following a 30th birthday party for the $20 we apparently owed for the party expenses - on top of a gift! There was no alcohol and only snack foods at the party, so we estimated that this girl made at least $500 off the party PLUS gifts that most people brought. I refused to pay, instead telling the father that this woman could ask me at work (I worked with both her and the mother) but my friends caved.
It's truly amazing the levels some people will stoop to.
When did you find out their was an "admission fee" to this party? Beforehand, at the party, or only when they chased you in the parking lot? Who chased you?....the birthday person, or did someone else host the party?
When did you find out their was an "admission fee" to this party? Beforehand, at the party, or only when they chased you in the parking lot? Who chased you?....the birthday person, or did someone else host the party?
Unbelievable!
Apparently it was on the evite, but neither myself nor the two coworkers I went with saw it so we think it was added later. We only went because this person was really unpleasant in the workforce to the point where even her direct bosses (both fresh out of college - something she resented) were afraid to address it with her. We knew there would be hell to pay if no one in the office went. In addition, her mother was the office manager for my unit (same overall department).
The party was basically a glorified tea party. No men were allowed, except for her dad. And it was her dad that chased us out - after asking the waitress to box up the melted puddle of ice cream cake. I suspect she and her mom were busy making the rounds at the party. The party consisted of crafts (we made "fascinators" out of headbands, paper plates, and pipe cleaners - mind you, 30th birthday party!), finger sandwiches, fruit, tea, and the melty ice cream cake. They rented a room above a smelly fish restaurant - you know the kind where they clearly do not have fresh fish.
I have no problem throwing down for a party if there is food or alcohol, but not for a 30 year old's party planned by her parents. At least it made for a good story after!
Seems to be happening more frequently. At least I can get behind the wedding invitations that ask for cash to go toward a home downpayment in lieu of gifts that won't fit in an already cramped apartment. Fairly recently, some friends and I were chased down in the parking lotfollowing a 30th birthday party for the $20 we apparently owed for the party expenses - on top of a gift! There was no alcohol and only snack foods at the party, so we estimated that this girl made at least $500 off the party PLUS gifts that most people brought. I refused to pay, instead telling the father that this woman could ask me at work (I worked with both her and the mother) but my friends caved.
It's truly amazing the levels some people will stoop to.
Wow, if didn't have manners, and self-respect, and a moral code of honor I would try a scam like that. $500 plus presents! Man, Oh Man!
Actually, years ago when my husband and I used to have an annual spring party at our home, in lieu of birthday parties, not only would we say "absolutely no presents" but we would provide all of the liquor, food and everything else. That is how normal people hold parties.
What person is so crude and ill-mannered that they give a party and then charge people for the privilege of attending it. Sheesh!
a couple years back we went to an extended b-day party , and a hat was passed around a few times,,,after the first time,,, I threw in some tums, and a cigar
to which started everyone else throwing in anything but money
now,,i went to a pig roast recently, to a couple that bought the pig, and bought a lot of beer, I didn't mind contributing, because someone else started the pass around -
a couple years back we went to an extended b-day party , and a hat was passed around a few times,,,after the first time,,, I threw in some tums, and a cigar
to which started everyone else throwing in anything but money
now,,i went to a pig roast recently, to a couple that bought the pig, and bought a lot of beer, I didn't mind contributing, because someone else started the pass around -
IMHO, there is a big difference between someone passing the hat once (or every three or four hours) to pay for "a beer run" at a lengthy party or voluntarily chipping in for an expensive party like a pig roast and the OPs example of contributing to someone's rent payment or being "ordered" to pay $20 for a tea & snack birthday party.
What person is so crude and ill-mannered that they give a party and then charge people for the privilege of attending it. Sheesh!
OMG. This is crazy sh#t. lol
When I worked for a big huge company, every Christmas they would have a Christmas party. We got the mass email saying that we needed to RSVP and let them know who all was coming and if we were bringing a guest and that tickets were $XX.00.
I always thought it odd, that with as big globally that this company was, they couldn't just throw us a party for our hard work? We had to pay to go? That struck me as odd. It's not like they ever gave us much...no turkey at Thanksgiving or bonus at Christmas but we could come to their party if we paid. It was always held at a big hotel ballroom type place. We even had to pay more for the drinks once we got there. There was no meal furnished...just a band and maybe finger foods.
Anyway this party this 30 year old had where people had to pay for is the craziest thing I've heard of since my invite to help pay someone's rent. What is with these people?
Does it make it better or worse that I was 23 at the time and had just finished treatment for cancer? :P These people knew how financially difficult that time period was (because unlike this coworker, my parents were not still supporting me) and didn't care one iota. They also asked for $20 from the high school "friends" (as in they were currently in high school, not friends from when the birthday girl was in high school). Who asks 16 and 17 year olds to a 30 year old's birthday party unless they're family? The whole situation was bizarre. The mother and daughter spent most of the tea cutting the crusts off the finger sandwiches and digging the blueberries out of the scone for the father.
There's no etiquette that requires a gift just because you were invited to a party. Even a wedding. If an RSVP was requested, good manners require you to respond with your regrets, citing a previous engagement. If it was just an open invitation, you aren't even required to respond, let alone chip in. Of course you CAN give anyone a gift at any time if you want to, but you clearly don't want to. So the less said about this the better. Don't complain, don't correct, just ignore. These people aren't going to change just to seek your approval.
Give her a fifteen year treasury bond. Nothing would eat away at her more than getting 'money' that she can't get for fifteen years.
It would be like ordering me a fresh pepperoni pizza and just making me looks t it.
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We only went because this person was really unpleasant in the workforce to the point where even her direct bosses (both fresh out of college - something she resented) were afraid to address it with her. We knew there would be hell to pay if no one in the office went. In addition, her mother was the office manager for my unit (same overall department). 
