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You're approaching this all wrong. Stop turning it into everything that was wrong with you; you come across as a self-declared victim. In fact, you did your former friend a great favor by helping her realize what a creep she was about to marry. All you need to do is convince her you didit for her and she'll see what a good friend you are.
Don't encourage this OP to contact this girl. Both just need to move on with their lives.
if you are so afraid of living alone, why would roommate(s) be out of the questions as you stated in an earlier post??
I ALWAYS had roommates, well, except for about 2 years.... sharing rent and bills makes things way more affordable.... and its not like you have to share a bedroom with them.....
it's not that hard.... you don't have to live with total strangers.... and if someone is not as neat and tidy as you are, oh well.... either live with it or pick up the slack....
if you are THAT paranoid about theft, just put a padlock on your bedroom door and store all of your valuables there....
word to the wise, though.... the two room mates I knew the least about turned into being my best friends.....
you say you have made friends who have things in common with you in another city.... take advantage of that!!
Forgiveness is for my benefit only--not those who cheated
Quote:
Originally Posted by rego00123
Forgive?
Sure, In time. Forgiveness just takes a little understanding and setting aside my feelings to understand yours.
Forget?
No..
It's not my policy to ignore who and how people are just becuase I would wish them to be a different person.
You would not be my friend or would I bother to associate with you anymore as a result. Trust is the key component in any realtionship romantic or not...and I would want nothing to do with a person who I had no trust in...let alone someone who I DID have trust in and got burned as a result of placing my trust with them.
You may live and learn and change your ways, and that is wonderful but I wouldn't not allow myself to be close enough to you to be called friend to know this.
You have to learn you had your chance, you made your choices. You have no options left here. You have your answers from them and now you have to work on accepting them.
Rego00123 has an excellent reply....I would only like to add that being able to forgive & learning to forgive are necessary for the person whom is the recipient of being cheated on. Life is total hell until you somehow get to the point of being able to let it go. Letting it go is beneficial for you. You do not have to make it beneficial for those who cheated on you. Choices we make in life have consequences and all choices do not merit or warrant total absolution.
I have not read all of the replys in this thread yet, and I will later this evening--so I don't know all the details. All I can say is that I would consider myself lucky to have found out these circumstances before the wedding and not after. Both are heartbreaking, but finding out after the wedding is complicated and very expensive.
Personally, you forgive so you can move on without being in excruciating pain for months or even years; but as Rego00123 said, No--I wouldn't forget quite so easily and trust takes a very long time to rebuild--and it is subject to flashbacks and little nagging feelings of doubt at any time. You find yourself questioning if you are going crazy or what???? Never really knowing for sure. As a single person, I'd be done with both of them and move on.
I started to read through all of the replies to your post and by the end of page 2 I couldn't take it any longer. Upon reading all of your ridiculously naive (nice way of putting it) replies, I really started to believe that no one could be this brain dead. Your responses have just gotten so weirded out that I have convinced myself this whole thread is an early April Fools joke. The ridiculousness of your actions and your replies sounds like some group of kids getting together to see who can come up with the dumbest replies to get fires going. I feel like I am getting sucked into that new Jack Vale TV show--just say whatever and prank everybody.
Really--you sent her a Valentine's Day card when she is now married to someone else????????????
If you don't think your actions are considered stalking, think again and get yourself a good lawyer--you will need it. My husband was stalked by a crazy lady who was a lot like you--we successfully took action against her.
PS--You only miss what you can't have. You had it once and you thought there was greener grass to be had in someone else's arms and bed (wherever it was). Now that sword is cutting back and you don't like it quite so much. TOO BAD....SO SAD....NOT!!!
Status:
"Just livin' day by day"
(set 25 days ago)
Location: USA
3,166 posts, read 3,359,979 times
Reputation: 5382
Quote:
Originally Posted by itsajourney
Dear Original Poster,
I started to read through all of the replies to your post and by the end of page 2 I couldn't take it any longer. Upon reading all of your ridiculously naive (nice way of putting it) replies, I really started to believe that no one could be this brain dead. Your responses have just gotten so weirded out that I have convinced myself this whole thread is an early April Fools joke. The ridiculousness of your actions and your replies sounds like some group of kids getting together to see who can come up with the dumbest replies to get fires going. I feel like I am getting sucked into that new Jack Vale TV show--just say whatever and prank everybody.
!
Its just me and my thoughts relying to the questions asked.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paka
I did not read all this thread, so forgive me if this has already been stated...but I think this question is twisted.
MY question would be "would you forgive the man that you love cheating on you with your friend"?
Excuse me, thats YOUR opinion. I deeply regret what I had done and will never do it again to anyone that is married or in a relationship. Got it.
I don't doubt you regret it but put yourself in your not friends shoes. Would you want her around? You'll say yes because you're delusional. Why is it so hard for to accept she hates your guts? You could be a grown up and just ask her yourself but we both know you haven't developed that far in your adulthood. Good luck
I know I betrayed her trust but it hurts me to see that shes friends with members of my family
Your family didn't hurt her. You did. You're a separate person from the rest of your family. What you did to her was you against her and your family has nothing to do with it. I'm not sure why you're having trouble understanding this.
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Forgiveness is for my benefit only--not those who cheated
