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Well, this has been an entertaining thread to read!
OP, that guy was a serious jerk. Your only mistake was letting him push you around for as long as he did.
I actually asked my sister and brother in law to leave our house once. And we're still on good terms, believe it or not!
About a year ago, my FIL had a major health crisis and was in the hospital for several weeks. Meanwhile, my MIL has dementia and that was the final straw for her mentally I think. The stress completely unhinged her. So she moved in with us, and the BIL and SIL came to stay with us for about a week as well, since the FIL's condition was so critical.
OMG.
We had a house full of company 24/7. We were running back and forth to the hospital every day till the FIL stabilized, taking my very feeble MIL with us. Meanwhile when we weren't there, my MIL needed constant and I do mean constant attention. She was doing things like getting up in the middle of the night and turning on the stove or trying to take a bath. She is very unsteady on her feet and we were scared to death she'd fall. When she was awake, she wanted someone to literally sit beside her and do everything for her every single minute. And to top that off, my BIL and SIL were there - now, they were being very self sufficient and trying to help but still...they were our house guests.
Finally, FINALLY we got the elderly people stabilized. We had to move my MIL into assisted living, which meant that we had to go shopping for a place. So we finally got all that straightened out and got her moved in. The first night that she was there and my FIL was doing much better, it was a HUGE relief.
So my SIL is sitting on the sofa after dinner and she says, "Well, now it's time for us to have a little fun! What do you guys want to do this weekend? We don't have to be back at work till Monday (this was Friday) so we can maybe go see a movie, maybe go antiquing, maybe go see some local sights? Whaddya think?"
My husband had run to the grocery store to get some basics, and I just decided to take a chance. I said, "You want me to be honest? My husband won't tell you this but I will. We would like for you two to go home and let us get some rest. We just want some quiet time together for a few days. I hope you understand."
Wow. They both jumped up like they'd been poked with a cattle prod, packed up, and were gone before he even got home! When he got home and saw their car gone, he said, "Wow, where are Bob and Sue?" and I said, "I hope you aren't mad, but I asked them to please go home and let us get some rest - I mean I didn't expect them to go home IMMEDIATELY but I'm glad they did!"
He looked at me for a long time in silence and then said, "Honey. You are my hero."
O.P, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your saga, but to answer your original question: No, I have never asked a house guest to leave, because we don't host them. This is what hotels are for.
You are lucky OP you never have to deal with that jerk again. I have a sister in law that has similar traits to your clown.
She dominates conversations always bringing them back to people that we don't know and don't care to meet. She interupts and talks over people all the time. We go out to eat and she will first designate to the waiter through her actions and utter contempt that he is there to serve her. She then orders something funky, making changes to it then complains when she doesn't like it. She has been known to leave a mess in her wake. The last time we went out to a really fancy place she dropped all this food and refused to pick it up, drank half her drink then returned it because she didn't like it, stole some tiny bottles of condiments off the table then threw them into the fountain to make a wish when we were leaving. She didn't have any change..
On the few trips that we have taken and she has tagged along she acts like a spoiled brat glued to her iphone texting. We say look at this look at that and she is like "yeah" She then snaps at us because little did we know she is having an argument on the texting.
She is NUTZ and the last time she blew up and stormed out of our house was the last time we have spoken with her. She has tried to wiggle back in to our lives but we don't need the aggravation.
I wonder if your Italian guy and my sis in law have any idea at all that they are the problem?
I have had two sets of German houseguests on two different occasions, the first planned and expected, the second a spontaneous offer of hospitality after a car-breakdown following a workshop we'd both attended. I'd known her and her husband for several years, though not well, as soon became apparent. The first, a married couple, were fine, despite their limited English and my even more limited German. They visited for a weekend, as part of a touring performance group, and seemed to appreciate the hospitality and planned activities very much.
The second visitor, a German woman who's lived in a large east coast American city for many years and who is an American citizen, was not fine. Her car wasn't even in my city - she had a rental, and had left her non-operable car somewhere along the way to the workshop. But she wanted to hang out here until her own car was ready. So first she stayed with another friend, who had the flu, and when he fairly gently booted her out, she descended on me for what was meant to be two days and two nights. I kept suggesting that she check train and/or bus schedules to her own car's location, and that she turn in her rental here - no, she was enjoying herself. I was not....read on.
Man, was I glad to see the last of her. I literally danced in my front yard as her rental car turned at the corner of my street - then went indoors, and pitched that black bread and nasty ice cream! Then I washed the sheets and hand towels in scalding water.
But I am little confused you offered to drive him from Denver to Las Vegas and/or LA, prior to his trip but told him Salt Lake City was too far???? That makes no sense.
Wow, so many interesting responses! Thank you, everyone!
Ok, to reply to many of you - I am Italian-American and speak Italian!!! It's his awful personality, not a cultural thing; as I've had other nice, Italian & European friends.
When he snobbed out on my offer to drive him to Las Vegas/LA, that was it! No more offers to drive him anywhere except around the Denver area! So of course SLC would be waaaaaaay too far!! Also, if he'd arrived at his original travel date in April, I was free to road trip. I'm heading out of town for business and cannot accommodate under this time frame.
It was my offer to return the favor. I mentioned to him he was welcome to visit me in between my job situation, as his contract recently ended as well. This was one VERY HARD life lesson learned! I'm a nice person and kind of feeling guilty for flaring up at him the last night. Posting my story is helping me process all of it.
My ex husband married a sweet quiet Indonesian woman. They had her sister and her French husband as guests to their home for a visit. The entire time, the French husband did nothing but complain about the accommodations and the food and the wine, until my ex husband told them to just get the hell out. I can only imagine how bad the couple must have been for my ex to actually kick out his own wife's sister, who is probably sweet and quiet also.
I don't understand this post. Were you upset that the woman had a life-threatening medical emergency while on vacation at your home? How was she supposed to prevent that? Is there more to this, as in: you suspect she visited just to get superior medical care in your town?
I don't mean to sound like I'm chiding - I just really don't understand, and think there must be more to your outrage.
As others later noted, its because she already had this giant abcess infection and came anyways, to a place she didn't know the language or even have insurance for. My sister is very young, 19, and I guess her 19 yo friend thought a gigantic life-threatening infection wasn't going to interfere with her French shopping experience... Oy.
She also later admitted to draining the wound in the same tub I was bathing the babies.... Yuck. I would have offered her our spare shower??
As others later noted, its because she already had this giant abcess infection and came anyways, to a place she didn't know the language or even have insurance for. My sister is very young, 19, and I guess her 19 yo friend thought a gigantic life-threatening infection wasn't going to interfere with her French shopping experience... Oy.
She also later admitted to draining the wound in the same tub I was bathing the babies.... Yuck. I would have offered her our spare shower??
Will never have a house guest. As another posted that is what hotels are for.
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