I'm 18 and I literally have no friends at all. Where do I start? (feel, girlfriend)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It is hard for many of us to make friends. I feel for you. Practice being friendly every day. You are on the right track, focusing on your UPS job and trying to be friendly to people there. That older woman may have a daughter your age.
I agree with many others here that college is the real solution. You would make friends and get a degree. But, I understand that's not where you are, at the moment. Maybe a year from now, re-think that. Start with one class. In the meantime, could you go visit your brother at college, hang out on campus a bit, practice being friendly, and get a feel for what it would be like? And if there is a community college near you, maybe go to a Starbucks near campus and hang out there.
Make "making friends" your project. Keep a list of places to go in your area where there may be young people, and at least once a week, on your days off, visit one of those spots. And smile. Write down where you went, how you felt, who you talked to. Keep practicing being friendly, and soon it will come more naturally.
I'm already a friendly person. I have manners, I open doors for people, I help people when they need it, etc. I tried to hang out with my brother at college but he works at the college too, so different jobs are always taking up his time. I'll probably get to hang out with him again when he comes back down for his Thanksgiving break. Once my paychecks start coming in, I will try to set aside some money I can use to pay for transportation to go different places. There are a few local malls that I can hang out at.
I'm already a friendly person. I have manners, I open doors for people, I help people when they need it, etc. I tried to hang out with my brother at college but he works at the college too, so different jobs are always taking up his time. I'll probably get to hang out with him again when he comes back down for his Thanksgiving break. Once my paychecks start coming in, I will try to set aside some money I can use to pay for transportation to go different places. There are a few local malls that I can hang out at.
By all means, buy yourself something with your first paycheck, but you're too old to hang out at the mall. That's more of a teeny-bopper thing to do. Plus it's lonely as hell to wander the mall without something to do.
You've talked about your mother, but is your father in the picture? Is your mother helpful and supportive? Although you're 18 and have graduated from high school, it sounds to me like you need another adult to give you some structure and direction. You need to have some aspirations and plans to achieve them. Are there other adults in your life you can turn to? Any uncles, aunts, cousins, neighbors who can help you think about things?
Although you see your biggest issue as lack of friends, from your posts it seems like you're floundering. I don't mean that in an ugly way, but you have yet to articulate a real goal for your future. You don't have to go to college, but you absolutely have to gain some sort of skill that you can sell in the marketplace and then you have to practice that skill full time so you can make a life for yourself. When you start doing those things, you will find yourself in communities where it's natural to meet people and make friends.
I don't want to be harsh, but it's unlikely that UPS will hire you full time. Yes, it could happen, but they dangle that carrot out there during the holidays to get people to do that back-breaking labor, but the reality is that they don't really need people after the holidays. I hope I'm wrong, but I think you need to start putting a plan in place for December 26, when you most likely will be unemployed.
What's it going to be? Another low-wage full time job? Community college and a part-time job? The military? If you didn't have social anxiety, you could try to sell real estate, or cars, but if you struggle with talking to people that's going to be an issue. The time is now, kiddo. It's time to step up.
By all means, buy yourself something with your first paycheck, but you're too old to hang out at the mall. That's more of a teeny-bopper thing to do. Plus it's lonely as hell to wander the mall without something to do.
You've talked about your mother, but is your father in the picture? Is your mother helpful and supportive? Although you're 18 and have graduated from high school, it sounds to me like you need another adult to give you some structure and direction. You need to have some aspirations and plans to achieve them. Are there other adults in your life you can turn to? Any uncles, aunts, cousins, neighbors who can help you think about things?
Although you see your biggest issue as lack of friends, from your posts it seems like you're floundering. I don't mean that in an ugly way, but you have yet to articulate a real goal for your future. You don't have to go to college, but you absolutely have to gain some sort of skill that you can sell in the marketplace and then you have to practice that skill full time so you can make a life for yourself. When you start doing those things, you will find yourself in communities where it's natural to meet people and make friends.
I don't want to be harsh, but it's unlikely that UPS will hire you full time. Yes, it could happen, but they dangle that carrot out there during the holidays to get people to do that back-breaking labor, but the reality is that they don't really need people after the holidays. I hope I'm wrong, but I think you need to start putting a plan in place for December 26, when you most likely will be unemployed.
What's it going to be? Another low-wage full time job? Community college and a part-time job? The military? If you didn't have social anxiety, you could try to sell real estate, or cars, but if you struggle with talking to people that's going to be an issue. The time is now, kiddo. It's time to step up.
My dad was never there like a father should be. I know who he is and I have spent time with him before, but we don't have a typical father/son relationship. I only talk to him maybe once or twice a week and I may see him maybe once every month or 2 months. I used to spend weekends at his house (stay Saturday night, leave Sunday) but we wouldn't really be bonding or anything, he'd just get drunk while my brother and I stayed in another room. Come to think of it, I don't think I have ever spend more than 2 days with him before. I resent the fact that I'll never know what a father/son relationship should be like or how it feels to have one, but I digress. My mom is very supportive and helpful. She's been a great parent and even though she made some mistakes, I couldn't really ask for a better mother. I have other family members that I talk to (on my mother's side) but not about life goals or anything like that. I realized that my UPS job would probably be short-lived, I just got the job mostly because I wanted to gain some work experience. There are a few career fields that I'm interested in, some of which don't require college. My plan after the upcoming layoff from UPS would be to find another job, but this time one that if full-time. I'm hoping that the fact that I worked at UPS would be a good thing to add to my resume. The military also interests me as stated in another post, I'm starting to highly consider talking to a recruiter.
My dad was never there like a father should be. I know who he is and I have spent time with him before, but we don't have a typical father/son relationship. I only talk to him maybe once or twice a week and I may see him maybe once every month or 2 months. I used to spend weekends at his house (stay Saturday night, leave Sunday) but we wouldn't really be bonding or anything, he'd just get drunk while my brother and I stayed in another room. Come to think of it, I don't think I have ever spend more than 2 days with him before. I resent the fact that I'll never know what a father/son relationship should be like or how it feels to have one, but I digress. My mom is very supportive and helpful. She's been a great parent and even though she made some mistakes, I couldn't really ask for a better mother. I have other family members that I talk to (on my mother's side) but not about life goals or anything like that. I realized that my UPS job would probably be short-lived, I just got the job mostly because I wanted to gain some work experience. There are a few career fields that I'm interested in, some of which don't require college. My plan after the upcoming layoff from UPS would be to find another job, but this time one that if full-time. I'm hoping that the fact that I worked at UPS would be a good thing to add to my resume. The military also interests me as stated in another post, I'm starting to highly consider talking to a recruiter.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with working at UPS and gaining some experience and money. All I'm saying is that in general, you need more of a plan. Do talk to military recruiters, but be skeptical when you do. They'll make it all sound wonderful and full of opportunities, but if you join the Marines or the Army you'll very likely end up fighting in the Middle East at some point. That might be a difficult duty station for someone who already has anxiety. You'll definitely make friends and bond with people, but the PTSD is not a joke. So keep in mind the Navy, Air Force and Coast Guard.
What other career fields are you interested in?
I'm sorry about your father. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent and it sounds like he was not good at it. I'm glad you have your mom. Still, it would be great if you could connect with an objective mentor to help you think through some of the issues you're facing as a young adult.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with working at UPS and gaining some experience and money. All I'm saying is that in general, you need more of a plan. Do talk to military recruiters, but be skeptical when you do. They'll make it all sound wonderful and full of opportunities, but if you join the Marines or the Army you'll very likely end up fighting in the Middle East at some point. That might be a difficult duty station for someone who already has anxiety. You'll definitely make friends and bond with people, but the PTSD is not a joke. So keep in mind the Navy, Air Force and Coast Guard.
What other career fields are you interested in?
I'm sorry about your father. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent and it sounds like he was not good at it. I'm glad you have your mom. Still, it would be great if you could connect with an objective mentor to help you think through some of the issues you're facing as a young adult.
Transportation, I'm interested in doing things like driving trucks or buses. I'll keep all of the branches in mind and talk to people about all of them and weigh the options. It's alright, it doesn't bother me a whole lot, I'm just glad I had one parent who was committed to raising me.
Transportation, I'm interested in doing things like driving trucks or buses. I'll keep all of the branches in mind and talk to people about all of them and weigh the options. It's alright, it doesn't bother me a whole lot, I'm just glad I had one parent who was committed to raising me.
Okay. If you joined one of the military branches and did logistics you could probably learn to drive commercial vehicles and gain good experience. You'd also make friends in boot camp and in your various jobs. That is the beginning of a plan, kiddo.
Okay. If you joined one of the military branches and did logistics you could probably learn to drive commercial vehicles and gain good experience. You'd also make friends in boot camp and in your various jobs. That is the beginning of a plan, kiddo.
lol i was just like u in hs - no friends. As you hit 20, you learn that friends are quality > quantity. In college, u are more likely to find like minded people - finding 2 or 3 good friends is enough. The reason u fail to make friends is because u care too much about making friends and how you appear. Anxiety hinders your ability to perform well in anything. I just dont give a damn anymore. I have met one great friend in college, and that's all i need - great if i meet another loyal friend, but don't need it, and therefore i just walk up to people and say whatever i want (not stupid or hurtful stuff, but u get it), and people think i'm charismatic and funny now. ME! just a few years ago i was the awkward loner
AFAIK, this was already implied.... the OP isn't trying to rack up 1 to 2 dozen friends, how good of people they are be damned. The crux of the issue IS making quality friends
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
