Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
There is a back story; when I initially posted I started in the middle. I will give you the whole story when I come back. (short version).
At the moment I want to thank Earslike a cat.
Don't engage is good advice.
I keep getting thoughts, like I want to fight fire with fire. It is natural, I am so angry, and feel so powerless since police did not act correctly imo.
But the better part of me says -- exactly as you say -- if I engage it will only get worse.
And I agree with Sera's post below.
People here can be very kind, and it is surely consoling to have people take an interest and offer advice, and being supportive.
Quote:
Originally Posted by earslikeacat
Did you talk to the property manager on site? Definitely get them on board with this wacko. Detail everything in writing; security camera videos?
Stay away from Mister Shade Tree Mechanic. Don't engage: I learned the hard way years ago (taking matters in my own hands) that some people are plain evil.
I think since mothers and grandmothers are so awful and nasty (according to some posts), someone should start a thread about the sacrifices they’ve made to keep the complainers housed, clothed, fed and on a forward course.
But that’s just me.
young people think they know it all, just like we did....however, they are so lost, they can't use awareness and realize, that mothers and grandmothers came from a different time, and did a lot of things all together differently....and that's our fault for not being harder on our children. I see young mothers today on videos that don't know the first thing about how to raise children...
We only have ourselves to blame, we were not strict, we did everything for them and gave them everything, we didn't teach them how to problem solve on their own...we didn't teach them awareness and the importance of making mistakes...
so now you have this entitled generation that believes, when you try and help, your interfering, and they are insulted so easily...instead of just being quiet, and thinking, "hey maybe I can learn something?" and if not, tuck it away somewhere in the back of your mind, for later use, instead of taking insult and fighting....
sera cremebrulee, how wise you were to listen to your friend and Apologize. Wow ! Your friendship surely has become more meaningful. What a caring friend to tell you what was bothering her. For me, that took courage.
I believe it's not wise, it's just about communication and owning your mistakes, learning from them and going forward....she and I both have been like that with each other for years, it's not often you come across people who you can share with them, what it is they did to hurt you, and then own it and change it...if only all of use would listen instead of taking things so God Awful personal right away....heck we all do things that offend others that we don't even realize....
Anyway, thank you....yes, she is a very caring friend. Love her to the moon.
Unfortunately no cameras at this point. And I did not get a picture.
Quote:
Originally Posted by earslikeacat
Did you talk to the property manager on site? Definitely get them on board with this wacko. Detail everything in writing; security camera videos?
Stay away from Mister Shade Tree Mechanic. Don't engage: I learned the hard way years ago (taking matters in my own hands) that some people are plain evil.
no, I don't think so. I think the guy's vision, or judgement, is deteriorating. He is in his '70's.
(I live in senior housing.)
When he pulls out, he didn't rightly judge the turn. He has some kind of truck-like vehicle, don't know what to call it. Sturdier I guess than my toyota.
Anyway after my long , written, angry complaint, the building is in process of getting me a park place on the other side of the building.
(yea! in the shade). Until that is finalized, I am parking in the street - shade...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ted Bear
Me thinks you have more going on than "someone bumped my car and the bumper fell off".
If this description is accurate, that the bumper came off (it takes one hell of a whack to get a bumper off a car), i suspect that what you are dealing with is someone trying to scavenge your bumper.
Especially after finding the same person under your car "tinkering" i believe you are dealing with a thief who has a market for your make and model year bumper, and he is trying to steal the item from your car.
After I ate, I called the police station and asked for the disposition of the case. They said there was no case! They said the cop told him, don't do it again.
I'm steamed, I can tell you. I'm between writing a letter to the Chief and telling him what I think, a letter to the newspaper, going to City council meeting.
I think I'm going to do the last option. Public meeting and he will have to answer. (The Chief of Police is always present at these meeting.)
to make matters worse when I drove home today I noticed a rattle under the car which I hadn't noticed before. I mean how ineffectual could the cops be? He could have planted something. He could have loosened my bumper.
(I know who he is, he lives in the building where I live.
ellen
and he is a nut.)
Heres, the problem, you must report this to the property manager, the police can come in, but it's up to you to take your car somewhere and have it checked out....(oh the joys of Apartment living, it sure isn't for sissies) anyway, it is basically up to the property manager to confront this man, and let him know he has got to stop doing this...and not the police....
where I lived, the property manager thought it was up to the police to take care of the problem, but it wasn't....as my son is a police officer....it isn't up to the police to crawl under your car and check it out....you as the owner of the car, needs to take it immediately and get it checked out...as there was no crime committed.
now my first thought when you said he was crawling under your car, was he was trying to steal the catalytic converter, as they are worth money and where I lived they were stealing tools and catalytic converters....so, next time something happens, take your car to the dealer, tell them what happened and ask them if they can check out underneath the car, or take it now and tell them you hear a rattle...don't put it off, write down the date and time you saw this guy under your car, and take it immediately to the dealer....if they find something wrong, then have them write it up and take the write up directly to the apartment manager and police, and have them both write up reports, and ask the property manager to confront the man....but its your responsiblity to follow thru, sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear.
The rattle could be from hitting a speed bump or something comeing loose, it's very hard to prove that this man did something to your car....
Keep a log of what problems this person is causing you, and I mean dates and times, so you can show the property manager, and if need be the police....
If there is some kind of damage under your car, now it becomes a police problem....but you have to prove he did it...which is why you write down the date and time of when you saw him crawling under your car....
I just found this thread via the "New Posts" menu. I hope it catches on again for the long term.
Tasmtairy, sometimes we have to let people go. The saying that "people come and people go" in our lives is true, sad, but true. Out of 4 best friends, I have only 1 active left in my life, with a second only within occasional contact. The other 2, well, during my tribulation of 2011 forward, I didn't feel like the one wanted to continue contact with me at all and basically offered to say goodbye, she obviously agreed and we haven't had contact since 2015. Dear friends since 1975.
I unintentionally sent the second friend, via her husband's email since she didn't do computers, an online article regarding Facebook and Twitter, but from a political source. It was sent to me, I did not seek it out, and found it worthwhile to send to others who used at least FB. The next day I got a nasty email response from her husband. I was hot, but didn't want to ruin a friendship of 45 YEARS over politics, so said thanks for letting me know, I apologized and said I loved them both. The thing is, she had informed me in Aug. that they were to be first time grandparents. I sent them a congratulations card specific to new grandparents. We exchanged Christmas cards. Maybe my card offended? I don't know. Never heard a word about the upcoming new grandbaby. Didn't send her a BD card as usual (5 months after Christmas), wanted to see if she'd contact me. Nope. Never heard another word from her.
My heart hurts over both these losses but I am not dwelling on them. Everyone has choices, and I am not going to pursue either as obviously this is the choice they both have made. If either contacts me, I will welcome them back as if nothing has happened, I am not holding a grudge.
So sorry this happened to you, but you've got the right mind set....which the husband and wife both should have realized, and known it was informative purposes only, but I tell you true, people get really upset anymore when it comes to politics, and political discussions...and today, people are extremely touchy about it. You see, we grew up all our lives, with parents and grand parents who instilled their political beliefs in us from little on up and of course, in today's world, politics now defines who we are, our beliefs, our identity...which makes it difficult for some to shall we say, break the chains that bind.
Years ago, it wasn't like that...but unfortuantely our leaders have bred hate in the minds of their followers....hence the hostility from your friend...
just suggestion, the next time this happens, why don't you call their attention to it, nicely, and respectfully, not in a condiscending way, just say, Yanno, I was just talking about somthing important to me, and you guys took the air out of my sails by not acknowledging me, or listening to me, or allowing me to finish? what say we open the door to communicating about this...so it doesn't happen any more?
I have a life time girlfriend, whose friendship I cherish....she confronted me one day, about a habit I had of completely dismissing what she had to say by turning away from her, while she was debating. I didn't even realize I was doing it, until she called my attention to it...and we were fine, I apologized and told her that I appreciated her calling my attention to it, and to continue to do so, if I offend her in any way, which I certainly would never knowingly do....so, perhaps this might work with your friends....friendships are valuable. Let them know how valuable your friendship is with them....
We just don't seem to communicate with each other any more....and thats sad....
This is good advice Creme. The friend that "talks a lot", overtakes conversation, has been very busy last several weeks. The other friend and i spent some time together about once a week for a month. It was totally different, and we both noticed it. It was relaxing, talking and listening. My whole body felt calm. A week or so ago the 3 of us went to a winery with these new cabanas with a fan and couch and chairs, just charming. So were talking and eating and Cindy got up to go to the building and use the restroom, Barbara had this look on her face, I said, "what"? She said it's so quiet. We both laughed so hard. So, I may bring up this habit that Cindy has of not letting us finish our thoughts. Thank you, Creme.
e-mails, years ago, when my husband and I had the same email, suggested separate. He fussed, though we did have separate accounts.
Politics friends ? Someone Posted about losing a friend of many years. Just yesterday, a very caring friend, shared a very hateful email letter not only of her Posts on Facebook, it was also about her different views on the vaccine.
Vaccine, have little, if any communication with a friend of 25+ years because of our differences. Did keep my views to myself about her lifestyle. Wonder if they were truly friends.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
