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I hated Christmas and birthdays because the presents purchased were never correct and ended in the bottom drawer or ****canned......cards at $5 a pop that end up in file 13...such a waste.
Parents (Mothers/Fathers day) should be RESPECTED every day they are still here and NOT on just ONE day of the year.
A person may Agree or Disagree with a parent but the bottom line is that they are still your parent and should be RESPECTED regardless come hell or high water.
I think part of the problem here may be all the commercials that hint that this is how every mother is celebrating Mother's Day: she awakens to, surprise, breakfast! On a tray. There's even a little flower. Then Little Jimmie hands her a special card with a special tiny receiver/speaker that Unnaturally Handsome Daddy helped him record an atypically perfect message into: "Dear Mommy, you are the best mom in the whoooooole wooooorld, I love you FOWEVUH! This kiss is as big as my wuv faw you, MWAH!"
Then as Mom looks up at Dad with a tearful smile, Dad places a Build a Bear wearing a diamond necklace from Zales - her "special" gift from him, well thought out weeks in advance and specially selected down to the last detail - in her arms. Then little Jimmie squeals to Blue Eyed Infant Sister, "Uh-oh! Mama and Daddy are kissing! Covuh yaw eyes!" while Mommy and Daddy laugh at the adorable antics and hold one another close.
Whatevs, it's more like, you get handed a still-wet hand painted card that stains your hands, the ripped Skid Row t-shirt you wore to bed because nothing else was remotely clean and the white bed sheets (and what DID the kid paint, anyway? It looks kind of like a deer. Or a book. Wait, maybe it's a...fetus?), Dad says "you forgot to kiss her!" and you get poured your own bowl of cereal (you never eat cereal. Ever) and only some of it spills, which means you only have a little bit to clean up all by yourself later.
While you're eating this cereal you don't like Dad is running out to get some flowers at the supermarket (yes, the morning of) and a card that says "congratulations on your retirement!" because nine hundred other dads also waited until the last moment and have already stripped the store of all the actual Mother's Day cards.
And you know what, you love it all because they're your family, you know they did it because they love you but for heaven's sake, they're not a commercial, they're only human.
And you're happy.
This is brilliant. And pretty much the way the holiday really goes for the majority of us. Thanks for the chuckle!
It doesn't matter how people respond to the OP, she never takes the advice and always has excuses for why her life is the way it is. But there is nothing wrong with her at all (according to HER).
As others have stated, make Mother's Day how YOU want it and be thankful for the good things you have in your life. So many people are struggling and suffering with things that are far worse than your current issue.
It doesn't matter how people respond to the OP, she never takes the advice and always has excuses for why her life is the way it is. But there is nothing wrong with her at all (according to HER).
As others have stated, make Mother's Day how YOU want it and be thankful for the good things you have in your life. So many people are struggling and suffering with things that are far worse than your current issue.
As I already stated a few pages back, now that the crab feast was cancelled by my brother, I am taking my kids and doing something we want.
You said your kids make handmade cards and stuff like that, and your daughter brought you flowers recently. It sounds like your kids are doing everything that they can at their ages and with their means. You're being really unappreciative of their efforts by moping around with a "Mother's Day is going to suck so bad" attitude. How do you think that will make your kids feel?
Why would your mother host a celebration for you for Mother's Day? She's not your mom. Your kids are doing what they are able to do for you. When they're older and capable of doing so, they just might host cookouts and "celebrations" for you. Did you host huge celebrations for your mom when you were 12? No, but that's the type of thing that you do now because you are older and able to.
I'm not saying that your mother doesn't have some unrealistic expectations, but it kind of seems like you do, too.
I think part of the problem here may be all the commercials that hint that this is how every mother is celebrating Mother's Day: she awakens to, surprise, breakfast! On a tray. There's even a little flower. Then Little Jimmie hands her a special card with a special tiny receiver/speaker that Unnaturally Handsome Daddy helped him record an atypically perfect message into: "Dear Mommy, you are the best mom in the whoooooole wooooorld, I love you FOWEVUH! This kiss is as big as my wuv faw you, MWAH!"
Then as Mom looks up at Dad with a tearful smile, Dad places a Build a Bear wearing a diamond necklace from Zales - her "special" gift from him, well thought out weeks in advance and specially selected down to the last detail - in her arms. Then little Jimmie squeals to Blue Eyed Infant Sister, "Uh-oh! Mama and Daddy are kissing! Covuh yaw eyes!" while Mommy and Daddy laugh at the adorable antics and hold one another close.
Whatevs, it's more like, you get handed a still-wet hand painted card that stains your hands, the ripped Skid Row t-shirt you wore to bed because nothing else was remotely clean and the white bed sheets (and what DID the kid paint, anyway? It looks kind of like a deer. Or a book. Wait, maybe it's a...fetus?), Dad says "you forgot to kiss her!" and you get poured your own bowl of cereal (you never eat cereal. Ever) and only some of it spills, which means you only have a little bit to clean up all by yourself later.
While you're eating this cereal you don't like Dad is running out to get some flowers at the supermarket (yes, the morning of) and a card that says "congratulations on your retirement!" because nine hundred other dads also waited until the last moment and have already stripped the store of all the actual Mother's Day cards.
And you know what, you love it all because they're your family, you know they did it because they love you but for heaven's sake, they're not a commercial, they're only human.
And you're happy.
So well said! And you know what, if you do want something different then that bowl of cereal then you have to ask. Hell, you might even have to buy what you want and say "hey kids...tomorrow is mothers day. I would love breakfast in bed! How about one of the bagels I just bought". Still, it could be burnt or have a bite already out of it LOL
See, I learned something so long ago...we can't depend on people to celebrate us to make up for, or fix how badly we feel about our selves. I feel like you might be in that rut.
So well said! And you know what, if you do want something different then that bowl of cereal then you have to ask. Hell, you might even have to buy what you want and say "hey kids...tomorrow is mothers day. I would love breakfast in bed! How about one of the bagels I just bought". Still, it could be burnt or have a bite already out of it LOL
See, I learned something so long ago...we can't depend on people to celebrate us to make up for, or fix how badly we feel about our selves. I feel like you might be in that rut.
Ha ha, my grandmother had this little story about when she and my grandfather were younger-marrieds.
My grandfather would ALWAYS tell my grandmother not to do anything for his birthday...it was silly...he HATED all the fuss...NO cake...etc. And of course my grandmother would go crazy with all the presents and cake and stuff anyway...my grandfather apparently would grumble about the "fuss," but "go along with it..."
One year she decided to teach him a lesson. On my grandfather's birthday they got up and she made him breakfast as usual (old-world couple). They ate and exchanged pleasantries. Apparently Grandpa started looking a little puzzled that Grandma wasn't saying a word about his birthday but he went on with his day.
All the way up until dinner. STILL nothing, not even a mention! Grandma was as pleasant as ever but Grandpa had said NO FUSS so, no fuss it was to be!
At this point Grandpa couldn't take it anymore. He cracked and half-cried about how Grandma just didn't care, etc.
She laughed and pulled all his presents out of the hiding place she'd made for them in the closet. And a cake.
Dude never said "Oh, don't bother, don't fuss" regarding his birthday again.
It's true that if we have expectations...well, we'd better communicate them...if we want something very specific, we can't count on anyone else to be a mind-reader and accomplish everything to our standards. I don't mind cereal for Mother's Day (or no breakfast at all) but if only French toast and nothing but French toast was going to make me feel loved on Mother's Day, LOL, then really it would be on me to say so.
Ha ha, my grandmother had this little story about when she and my grandfather were younger-marrieds.
My grandfather would ALWAYS tell my grandmother not to do anything for his birthday...it was silly...he HATED all the fuss...NO cake...etc. And of course my grandmother would go crazy with all the presents and cake and stuff anyway...my grandfather apparently would grumble about the "fuss," but "go along with it..."
One year she decided to teach him a lesson. On my grandfather's birthday they got up and she made him breakfast as usual (old-world couple). They ate and exchanged pleasantries. Apparently Grandpa started looking a little puzzled that Grandma wasn't saying a word about his birthday but he went on with his day.
All the way up until dinner. STILL nothing, not even a mention! Grandma was as pleasant as ever but Grandpa had said NO FUSS so, no fuss it was to be!
At this point Grandpa couldn't take it anymore. He cracked and half-cried about how Grandma just didn't care, etc.
She laughed and pulled all his presents out of the hiding place she'd made for them in the closet. And a cake.
Dude never said "Oh, don't bother, don't fuss" regarding his birthday again.
It's true that if we have expectations...well, we'd better communicate them...if we want something very specific, we can't count on anyone else to be a mind-reader and accomplish everything to our standards. I don't mind cereal for Mother's Day (or no breakfast at all) but if only French toast and nothing but French toast was going to make me feel loved on Mother's Day, LOL, then really it would be on me to say so.
LOL yep, that is what I was talking about. Except some people really mean it when they say no birthday...so I try to go along with it the first time. If they change their minds, I am happy to adjust my plans. I like to have my birthday to myself. I ask kids/hubby to do something simple with me (dinner out or a cake) and maybe a couple presents. But I really don't like it to be a huge deal. I like to spend the day with myself. It took YEARS (like 10) to convince my husband I was dead serious about wanting a mellow birthday and to be on my own. So glad he started listening. This year he isn't even in town.
The kids and wanting to remain in my families life is exactly the issue. The kids are close to my parents. They have no other grandparents. I have a small family. How do I put my foot down, without her being passed off and acting like a child? I can't.
So if I just cut her off then I am the bad guy for keeping the kids away from their grandparents.
I adored my grandmother. My grandmother was abusive to me and my siblings. My mom didn't protect us from her. I do not forgive my mother for that at all. Kids love grandparents, but it doesn't mean they should be around them. Thats up to the parents to decide if its in their best interest. Not the kid.
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