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I certainly hope you didn't let this ruin your Thanksgiving.
Maybe there was a miscommunication about the get together, not knowing what time dinner was until you texted them yesterday, but who knows. It was rude for them to confirm last week, then not even let you know that they weren't coming. But, you'll likely never know the real reason, just let it go.
I think you should invest your time in getting acclimated to your new area, and not invest in these folks.
Find opportunities that you and your husband can participate in as a couple and you might start to discover some real interest in your new community and make friends along the way.
Thanks for the great advice, taking it to heart! We love the new area we moved to, and want to meet like minded individuals. And don't worry, we did not let that ruin our Thanksgiving. We focused on being thankful for each other, and all our blessings. It's their loss, cause that food was yummy!
Once I invited a coworker and her husband to Thanksgiving dinner. They accepted and she mentioned it several times in the days coming up to Thanksgiving.
Come Thanksgiving, she called about an hour before dinner and said they had both come down with the flu and wouldn't be coming. OK, no problem, people get sick. I wished her well and said to call if they needed anything.
After dinner, I felt bad that they had missed out and made up two plates of food and drove it over to their house (not far away). Nobody was home. Car was gone. I left the bag with the food by the door.
At work on Monday, not one mention was made by her about the "flu", the food I brought by or anything. No "we had to go to the emergency room" or "my grandmother was sick and we HAD to take her some medicine". And no sign of "the flu", either. I assumed we had been "shopped" and something better came up.
Oh, I'm so sorry this happened. That's just wrong. It's as immature as what happened in our situation
When I give my word to someone, unless there is an emergency, I keep it.
Huh? What does "turned off by the contact" mean? My friends and I confirm dates and times for get-togethers all the time, both as reminders and because stuff can come up.
Why wouldn't the OP want to confirm that their guests were coming, especially since they were going to the trouble of cooking extra food?
So, we just relocated to a new state a few months ago, and prepared to spend Thanksgiving away from family/friends for the first time. We know this couple who also relocated not long ago, from the same state we relocated from. They came to visit us once before, since their relocation, and we hung out and had a good time. We invited them to have Thanksgiving dinner with us, a couple weeks ago and they accepted the invitation. We confirmed with them this week, and they said they were coming, and would bring a dish. This morning, I sent a text message, asking what time they'd make it, and that we'd be having dinner around 4 pm. 2 hrs later, a reply comes saying they would let us know. Then, silence, until my husband calls around 3.30pm to find out what their status is. Vmail and silence until 5.30pm, then he gets a reply saying they just finished cooking themselves and were about to eat at home, and probably won't want to go anywhere after that"...
They are new to town, and we had a first hangout that seemed to be going well with some common interests, but this left a sour taste in our mouth, since we bought extra food and spent all day cooking, expecting them to come...We feel if we accept someone's invitation, we couldn't pull something like that, and let them hang high and dry without our conscience bothering us.
What do you think, is there a chance for a solid frendship there?
That's extremely rude. I wouldn't pursue this friendship at all.
I think this kind of behavior is part of a larger trend of social media making it easier to blow people off because it's not face to face (or voice to voice, in the case of a phone call).
Folks, if you're not that interested in going to something, just make up an excuse right then instead of leading the other person on. And if you accept an invitation to something that seemed like a good idea at the time but then feel "meh" about it when the day rolls around (happens to me all the time), give some hard thought to how you're going to inconvenience and/or disappoint the other person(s) if you bail at the last minute. And then suck it up and go. It's the decent thing to do. If you didn't want to go in the first place, you shouldn't have agreed to.
I see it over and over again with Meet-Up groups, craigslist, and other groups. Recently, I offered to give away more than $50 worth of pet supplies and posted it on a related Facebook group. Got a response and PM'd back and forth with someone who was supposed to meet me two days later at a specific time and place. Rearranged my schedule around the meeting and called before I left the house and got voicemail. Had other errands in that area, anyway, so went ahead and showed up at the meeting spot. Called when I got there and again got voicemail. Later PM'd the person asking if they'd gotten my phone calls. "Oh, I forgot!" No, I didn't give them a second chance. My husband has showed up at the appointed time to buy something off craigslist and found out the seller had sold it to someone else moments before. Same with arranging to buy something, calling to confirm a time and place, and suddenly the seller won't return his calls.
People need to be accountable for the promises they make, social media or no social media. Being "incognito" doesn't give you license to be an a**hole.
It really doesn't matter about their age or what might be the reason. They didn't have the common decency to let you know they weren't coming, until your husband contacted them.
Bottom line they had no intention of coming, they were cooking their own food when your husband contacted. Just them saying that shows how clueless and rude they are. If they changed their mind about coming, you call up and use the "not feeling well" card.
Screw them. I wouldn't bother again and if you live in an small enough area where you may run into them I would say hello and keep walking.
You will find other couples to befriend, ones who have some manners.
So, we just relocated to a new state a few months ago, and prepared to spend Thanksgiving away from family/friends for the first time. We know this couple who also relocated not long ago, from the same state we relocated from. They came to visit us once before, since their relocation, and we hung out and had a good time. We invited them to have Thanksgiving dinner with us, a couple weeks ago and they accepted the invitation. We confirmed with them this week, and they said they were coming, and would bring a dish. This morning, I sent a text message, asking what time they'd make it, and that we'd be having dinner around 4 pm. 2 hrs later, a reply comes saying they would let us know. Then, silence, until my husband calls around 3.30pm to find out what their status is. Vmail and silence until 5.30pm, then he gets a reply saying they just finished cooking themselves and were about to eat at home, and probably won't want to go anywhere after that"...
They are new to town, and we had a first hangout that seemed to be going well with some common interests, but this left a sour taste in our mouth, since we bought extra food and spent all day cooking, expecting them to come...We feel if we accept someone's invitation, we couldn't pull something like that, and let them hang high and dry without our conscience bothering us.
What do you think, is there a chance for a solid frendship there?
You must be joking with regarding the bolded part.
What they did was unconscionable in my opinion. I wouldn't pull a move like that for the life of me.
Screw them royally, rudeness on that order is a REAL pet peeve of mine.
Thanks for the great advice, taking it to heart! We love the new area we moved to, and want to meet like minded individuals. And don't worry, we did not let that ruin our Thanksgiving. We focused on being thankful for each other, and all our blessings. It's their loss, cause that food was yummy!
That is the best attitude. You'll be ok, just lean on each other right now. It is a great chance for couples to become even closer when you have relocated, think of it as a plus. Good luck to you
So, we just relocated to a new state a few months ago, and prepared to spend Thanksgiving away from family/friends for the first time. We know this couple who also relocated not long ago, from the same state we relocated from. They came to visit us once before, since their relocation, and we hung out and had a good time. We invited them to have Thanksgiving dinner with us, a couple weeks ago and they accepted the invitation. We confirmed with them this week, and they said they were coming, and would bring a dish. This morning, I sent a text message, asking what time they'd make it, and that we'd be having dinner around 4 pm. 2 hrs later, a reply comes saying they would let us know. Then, silence, until my husband calls around 3.30pm to find out what their status is. Vmail and silence until 5.30pm, then he gets a reply saying they just finished cooking themselves and were about to eat at home, and probably won't want to go anywhere after that"...
They are new to town, and we had a first hangout that seemed to be going well with some common interests, but this left a sour taste in our mouth, since we bought extra food and spent all day cooking, expecting them to come...We feel if we accept someone's invitation, we couldn't pull something like that, and let them hang high and dry without our conscience bothering us.
What do you think, is there a chance for a solid frendship there?
No way in hell!! What they did was completely selfish,thoughtless and rude.They could have easily sent you guys and e-mail a long time ago...within the week of Thanksgiving and tell you guys that they've decided to stay home and eat on their own...very simple.Why would you want to have a friend with people as thoughtless as they in the first place??
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