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I KNEW there was an easier way out of this and I am not even the OP . I agree with this here 100% ^^ . Let them know you will call the sheriff if they do not go at that time . People like this usually avoid the cops like the plague . Even discussing it might cause them to hit the road early .
I'm wondering if it might be a good idea to call the sheriff and have him there when the OP talks to her 'friends' in the first place. The whole situation seems really edgy to me, and the last bit about, "Went to dinner and the 'friend' 'conveniently forgot' her wallet" just adds to my feeling of unease with this situation.
I'd kind of be in favor of calling the sheriff to have them there while OP delivers a, "Pack your stuff and get out NOW" edict, along with having a locksmith on hand to change the locks the minute the moochers are out the door.
I'm wondering if it might be a good idea to call the sheriff and have him there when the OP talks to her 'friends' in the first place. The whole situation seems really edgy to me, and the last bit about, "Went to dinner and the 'friend' 'conveniently forgot' her wallet" just adds to my feeling of unease with this situation.
I'd kind of be in favor of calling the sheriff to have them there while OP delivers a, "Pack your stuff and get out NOW" edict, along with having a locksmith on hand to change the locks the minute the moochers are out the door.
I stayed with a friend for a bit. Gosh it was SOOO nice of her. I couldn't thank or do enough for her. My office up and MOVED out of the country pretty much! I was fairly new at the company.
She stepped up and said "however long, no problem. Help with bills/household chores where when you can. "
I couldn't stop. I cooked, cleaned. Took care of pets. CHanged fish tank - yech. Whatever I could! Detailed her car.
Got a job and began paying utilities/food.
Now, I am on my own. I would NEVER take advantage.
It looks to me as if you are being used. That must hurt.
I hope it all works out - but be tough. You may just be helping them out more by making them be on their own!
These people pegged you as an easy mark and will not be happy to leave their cushy digs. Before you deliver the ultimatum to leave (do NOT let them talk you into staying), be sure your credit cards, valuables and wallet are locked away somewhere unreachable. Identity theft is a real concern.
Have the tenant info from your state in your hand so they know you mean business and are well-informed of the steps you need to take. I would also have the name of a law firm to throw out to show them you will get back-up. People like this usually want no part of a legal action.
I would have a law officer there when they are supposed to leave, otherwise there will be excuses. Document everything as they may try to pull a fast one. Have a record of exactly what they paid and when. Also document what food they stole - and yes, they did steal - as well as the forgotten wallet. Law enforcement are very familiar with grifters.
Change your locks immediately but any keys should be returned. Problem is they could make copies.
One of my kids went through a similar situation with a roommate who did not pay so I sympathize. Just keep in mind when people feel they are being out-witted they can become vicious. You need to be prepared and protect your identity and valuables.
These people pegged you as an easy mark and will not be happy to leave their cushy digs. Before you deliver the ultimatum to leave (do NOT let them talk you into staying), be sure your credit cards, valuables and wallet are locked away somewhere unreachable. Identity theft is a real concern....
Providing they haven't done this already. I'm now also wondering if the OP should get all that changed too, just to be safe.
I am a female. Thank you all for the help. I have tomorrow off so I will tell her what you guys told me. I am going to write down some key points so I can stay focus and not buckle under pressure. Yeah It was my mistake I should have went with my gut instinct since we had a sorta fall out earlier this year. I decided after this I will just live a lone for a while till i can get my head clear and non be stressing all the time. I am very disappointed she is not my friend as I don't have any friends but I can't continue to allow myself to be used. It is all just too much. I am becoming someone I am not. I went off on her yesterday because we went down to the beach for dinner and drinks and found out she didn't bring her wallet with her. I had to foot the bill once again so I was angry. Oh well just wish me luck for tomorrow. I think I might print out the link you sent me as reference so she doesn't think I am making things up.
So, you went to the beach and to dinner with this freeloader who you claim that you want out of your house, and who you say is taking advantage of you, and when it came time to pay the bills you find out she forgot her wallet. Surprise! Why are you even going out with her - she owes you a lot of money!! Sheesh. No, you did not HAVE to foot the bill; you didn't have to go to the beach/dinner with her at all.
You don't need to print links of anything. Who cares whether she thinks you're making thing up?
I'm sure if they had the money they would pay you. You opened the door to your home knowing this situation, this should have been expected. If it were me I'd grin and bear it for a while longer, knowing that this is a terrible time of the year to find employment. Or you could make your friend and her mother homeless in the dead of winter. Your choice.
I am a female. Thank you all for the help. I have tomorrow off so I will tell her what you guys told me. I am going to write down some key points so I can stay focus and not buckle under pressure. Yeah It was my mistake I should have went with my gut instinct since we had a sorta fall out earlier this year. I decided after this I will just live a lone for a while till i can get my head clear and non be stressing all the time. I am very disappointed she is not my friend as I don't have any friends but I can't continue to allow myself to be used. It is all just too much. I am becoming someone I am not. I went off on her yesterday because we went down to the beach for dinner and drinks and found out she didn't bring her wallet with her. I had to foot the bill once again so I was angry. Oh well just wish me luck for tomorrow. I think I might print out the link you sent me as reference so she doesn't think I am making things up.
Why on earth would you go to dinner with her????
You said you want her out. You said she doesn't pay for anything - and she has a history of having you pay the tab. This just doesn't make sense at all. I am starting to doubt this story. No one can be this naive. At this point, you are no longer the victim, since you are actively contributing to your "victimhood".
Last edited by cheryjohns; 12-22-2016 at 10:51 AM..
I am a female. Thank you all for the help. I have tomorrow off so I will tell her what you guys told me. I am going to write down some key points so I can stay focus and not buckle under pressure. Yeah It was my mistake I should have went with my gut instinct since we had a sorta fall out earlier this year. I decided after this I will just live a lone for a while till i can get my head clear and non be stressing all the time. I am very disappointed she is not my friend as I don't have any friends but I can't continue to allow myself to be used. It is all just too much. I am becoming someone I am not. I went off on her yesterday because we went down to the beach for dinner and drinks and found out she didn't bring her wallet with her. I had to foot the bill once again so I was angry. Oh well just wish me luck for tomorrow. I think I might print out the link you sent me as reference so she doesn't think I am making things up.
OP, why did you expect her to have the money to pay for dinner, anyway? She's stiffed you on more than one occasion before, when you two were hanging out at work. And she hasn't had the money to pay you the rent you required, so why would you expect her to have the money for dinner and drinks? It sounds like, in spite of everything, you're still harboring notions of this being a normal friendship with a normal person for whom you can have normal expectations. Can you see how irrational that is, given the circumstances and your history with this person?
I'm glad this thread has been of some help. Sorry to hear you don't have any friends. Are you relatively new in your area? After you get over this hurdle and are able to decompress, consider looking for activities and hobby groups, meetup groups, etc. to join, to try to start building some friendships. Best wishes!
I'm sure if they had the money they would pay you. You opened the door to your home knowing this situation, this should have been expected. If it were me I'd grin and bear it for a while longer, knowing that this is a terrible time of the year to find employment. Or you could make your friend and her mother homeless in the dead of winter. Your choice.
Sorry, but this is the LAST thing that the OP needs to hear. You must be lucky enough to have never had someone with an entitlement mindset in your circle of friends or acquaintances. The statements about it being hard to find a job this time of year and potential homelessness are just a bunch of manipulative BS that these people are showering on the OP, no doubt, to wear out their welcome as long as they possibly can. If these people are in a bind, there are shelters or other temporary living situations for them where they do not have to be shivering on a park bench somewhere. And, since the OP mentioned going to the beach the other day, I doubt that there would be any shivering going on there anyway.
Sometimes you just have to take a hard line with people. It is not the OP's responsibility to "grin and bear it". Neither is it her fault because she should have expected it. She tried to help someone she considered a friend and it backfired. I as well as other people posting on this thread have experience with this topic. It's nice to think the best of people until it becomes simple naivete. People like this, what's theirs is theirs, and what's yours is theirs. People like this do not do the right thing and pay the people that are hosting them when they have some money in their pocket. They buy whatever they want for themselves because they feel entitled to yours AND theirs. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if any money that the "friend" had went to alcohol. My ex never had money either, but those empty bottles of vodka I found in my laundry room must have materialized just by magic, I guess. This is an ex-coworker of the OP's. I have been curious reading this thread how this ex-coworker is now unemployed. It could be bad luck or layoffs. But something tells me it isn't. Neither the "friend" or the mother seem very willing to take responsibility for themselves, and that is not the OP's fault. I cannot get behind someone placing responsibility on the responsible one for fixing problems that are the result of someone else's own doing.
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