The problem of women saying they don't like having lots of girlfriends. (female, male)
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Women, is there much truth to the phrase "Women keeping other women down"?
LOL it's practically a national past time for a lot of women. I wish it wasn't, men compete but a big difference is how they perceive others. If a man is really intelligent, strong, skillful etc. other men will think it's great and befriend him. But if a woman is very intelligent, capable, skillful etc. other women just think "destroy, destroy!" We are our own worst enemies. Feminists talk about how men are keeping women down but honestly, I think the above is the biggest issue women face. How can women expect to get anywhere when we discriminate against the best of our own gender?
I think it's quite telling how, yes, men are capable of it as well, but when you hear terms like "backstabbing" "sabotage" "betrayal" chances are you think of them more as female traits.
I will say I have NEVER EVER been hurt by any man, even CLOSE to what women "friends" have done to me. To the extent that I am wary getting close to new ones now. The pain is indescribable. Now I see I am not alone.
I will always give someone new a fresh chance, and appreciate any overtures I receive. But I am too "burned" to invest much in anyone again.
A new female boss turned my formerly fantastic job with a great male boss, into hell on earth.
That's just one of several stories I won't bore readers with. I am pretty introspective, so I would know if it was "me". No.
I apologize if this is not the right forum to say this, but it is something that I and I am sure many others have noticed. Namely women that say "I don't really have a lot of girlfriends because I don't get along with other women" "I am not like other girls (as if other girls are somehow "bad")" "I have lots more guy friends than girlfriends" etc. etc. ad nauseum.
It's really sad. For one most do it just to look "cool" for guys, then internalize it and blow off other women even though they could be great friends! It's fine to have guys as friends, but as a general rule it works better if the friends women have are more women than men, to me if I meet a woman that says any of the above or has more guy friends I don't trust her.
Not to get political, but we live in an age where women more than ever should be helping and supporting each other, we should always support other women and come together in sisterhood. Yet it's really sad how so many feel it's a kind of badge of honor to say "I'm not like other girls/women". Anyone else feel the same?
Agree.
The last time I checked, women were still individuals.
To make a sweeping statement about not getting along with other women, always makes me think the person saying it is kinda stupid. Women don't share the same personality or traits just because they are the same sex.
I'm a woman. There are women I adore being around, and women I'd go out of my way to avoid. Same with men.
I would just like to add to this discussion, the fact that when it came time to choose an au pair to take care of my newborn twins, I decided on a man instead of a woman. (A lot of people thought that was strange and even inappropriate. As if it was any of their business, anyway). This man lived in our home and was great with our kids. It worked out great.
I feel abuse of children is committed equally by both men AND women, and so I believe there are just as many female child abusers out there, as male ones. I had a close friend who was sexually abused as a child, by a female and that's when it hit home with me that women aren't saints when it comes to working with kids. I find it strangely sad that many day care centers won't hire men. I had also heard from many people that female au pairs would create all kinds of drama. And I'm sure there are some great female child care workers out there, but I didn't want to take any chances. We just don't need or want drama in our home. I would highly recommend choosing a man to be a nanny or au pair.
Of course, women can be abusers, but that doesn't mean they do so in equal numbers to men.
Statistically, men outstrip women by a long shot when it comes to violence, whether you are talking about child abuse, assault or murder.
well, if it does, it will only show how nasty women can get.....
I've seen women in other threads, gang up on someone they disagree with...I've had woman stalk me on line, b/c they disagree, never had a man do that...never had a man gang up on me.....or others in forums.....
I've seen how ugly woman can be, compared to men....I think I only worked for one man that I can honestly say, was as bad if not worse then a woman. He encouraged gossip, but that was one in my entire life.
I see women crying all the time at work b/c of their woman bosses....my sister worked for a woman, that literally ruined lives of those who worked under her. So....
Holy Cow. Spend some time on some exclusively male forums. They can get incredibly ugly to each other!!! I've seen men bash each other on their own forums worse than any women ever. And that's saying something, because I've witnessed and borne the brunt of female bashing myself. Nope. Men take the cake for meanness on forums from what I've seen.
I've had horrific female AND male bosses. And thinking back on it, the bad men bosses were more relentlessly mean and cold. The bad women bosses tended to go back and forth between being nice and being mean.
Holy Cow. Spend some time on some exclusively male forums. They can get incredibly ugly to each other!!! I've seen men bash each other on their own forums worse than any women ever. And that's saying something, because I've witnessed and borne the brunt of female bashing myself. Nope. Men take the cake for meanness on forums from what I've seen.
I've been on the internet for years and I've never seen men bash each other the way women do. Sure, men will fight and argue like crazy but they won't get personal about it the way women do.
To make a sweeping statement about not getting along with other women, always makes me think the person saying it is kinda stupid. Women don't share the same personality or traits just because they are the same sex.
You can think whatever you want, but you can't force someone to be around or trust people they don't want to. Even if you believe their reasons are totally illogical. At the end of the day, it's their own life and they get to live it how they choose to.
I've been on the internet for years and I've never seen men bash each other the way women do. Sure, men will fight and argue like crazy but they won't get personal about it the way women do.
I would just like to add to this discussion, the fact that when it came time to choose an au pair to take care of my newborn twins, I decided on a man instead of a woman. (A lot of people thought that was strange and even inappropriate. As if it was any of their business, anyway). This man lived in our home and was great with our kids. It worked out great.
I feel abuse of children is committed equally by both men AND women, and so I believe there are just as many female child abusers out there, as male ones. I had a close friend who was sexually abused as a child, by a female and that's when it hit home with me that women aren't saints when it comes to working with kids. I find it strangely sad that many day care centers won't hire men. I had also heard from many people that female au pairs would create all kinds of drama. And I'm sure there are some great female child care workers out there, but I didn't want to take any chances. We just don't need or want drama in our home. I would highly recommend choosing a man to be a nanny or au pair.
thank you for a very nice post, never gave this a thought, but you've made a good point.
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