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Actually no, I'll never get married or have a baby so everyone will be spared from hearing news about me that they don't really want to hear anyway.
Most people want to hear about the life milestones of their family and friends, even somewhat distant ones. They would not be faking an interest in your life. The reason you're getting so much feedback in this thread that your reaction is unusual and you may have an underlying issue is because most people are simply not that dismissive of other people's life events.
It takes me no effort whatsoever to click "like" or congratulate someone. Even if I don't really care, I can be happy for their happiness, if that makes sense, and that small amount of positivity seems worthwhile.
Men don't generally do that. My mom tells me what is going on on both sides of the family, not my dad. That doesn't mean my dad is doing it right and my mom is doing it wrong.
ETA - every single detail would be calling you when the mother went into labor, telling you how far she wad dilated, when she got her epidural, how long she pushed, how much the baby weighed, how long the baby was, when the mom was going home... That's not what she did.
Well, I am much more like my dad personality-wise and he doesn't like hearing about my mom's side of the family either.
Most people want to hear about the life milestones of their family and friends, even somewhat distant ones. They would not be faking an interest in your life. The reason you're getting so much feedback in this thread that your reaction is unusual and you may have an underlying issue is because most people are simply not that dismissive of other people's life events.
It takes me no effort whatsoever to click "like" or congratulate someone. Even if I don't really care, I can be happy for their happiness, if that makes sense, and that small amount of positivity seems worthwhile.
Well, since the engagement thread was so fun, here we go again! This is actually a different relative who I'm not close to and who I maybe see once a year or less. It's not that I actively dislike him, but he's a bit younger than me so we didn't grow up together, we have nothing in common, and he's not someone who I'd ever associate with if we weren't related. But anyhoo, my mom texted me to inform me that his girlfriend gave birth. I knew she was pregnant and all, but like I said, I don't personally talk to them so it's not like I was on the edge of my seat waiting for news about the baby's arrival. But my mom always insists on telling me news about her side of the family even though she knows I rarely associate with them, and I just keep in touch with the ones who I care to keep in contact with via social media.
So my mom texts me and tells me that his girlfriend just gave birth but she doesn't have any pics to send me yet, and I reply "Cool, I don't want any pics." Now I know that I could just play nice, let my mom send me the pics, say "oh how cute," and then just delete them. But I'm just annoyed at the fact that she thinks I care. She sent me pics of another relative's child yesterday when I've already told her several times that if I wanted to see pictures of this relative, I would just follow her on Instagram. It's like she doesn't get the fact that if I haven't seen the pictures it's because I don't want to see them, so I don't want her forcing me to look at the pictures via text. If she was texting me pictures of cute cats, that would be a different story, but I just don't get excited about babies and kids. I'm sure I'll eventually see the new baby at a family function at some point, but I can wait until then.
Am I in the wrong here?
I totally understand your point. I would probably feel the same way. But...I don't know how old you are, but one day there will come a time when no one you're related to emails you, calls you, writes you, sends you gifts. You may have drifted apart from them, or they may all be gone.
When that day comes, your mind may think back on the days when people tried to engage you in their lives, and you wanted no part of it. And how you give anything to be a part of their lives now.
Second, there is such a thing as being polite and making people feel good. Taking the pictures with a good attitude, maybe a joke or two ("not ANOTHER baby picture, Mom!"). She's happy about the baby, so she wants to share with you. Sharing, to make her happy, is not such a terrible thing. Tell her jokingly not to go overboard with the baby picture thing, though.
Wouldn't it be ironic that when you are very old, that baby is your only living relative?
(But believe me, I totally get it. I'm not into baby pictures and such, esp if I don't know the people well. But they all do it. And I think..well, that's a baby, all right.)
I totally understand your point. I would probably feel the same way. But...I don't know how old you are, but one day there will come a time when no one you're related to emails you, calls you, writes you, sends you gifts. You may have drifted apart from them, or they may all be gone.
When that day comes, your mind may think back on the days when people tried to engage you in their lives, and you wanted no part of it. And how you give anything to be a part of their lives now.
Second, there is such a thing as being polite and making people feel good. Taking the pictures with a good attitude, maybe a joke or two ("not ANOTHER baby picture, Mom!"). She's happy about the baby, so she wants to share with you. Sharing, to make her happy, is not such a terrible thing. Tell her jokingly not to go overboard with the baby picture thing, though.
Wouldn't it be ironic that when you are very old, that baby is your only living relative?
(But believe me, I totally get it. I'm not into baby pictures and such, esp if I don't know the people well. But they all do it. And I think..well, that's a baby, all right.)
Well to be honest, I don't expect to ever have a relationship with this new baby nor do I expect to be in contact with my relatives as time passes on. I expect to die alone with no family around.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 8 days ago)
35,633 posts, read 17,968,125 times
Reputation: 50655
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
Well to be honest, I don't expect to ever have a relationship with this new baby nor do I expect to be in contact with my relatives as time passes on. I expect to die alone with no family around.
That seems likely. If that's your choice, well that's your choice.
If that's NOT your choice you certainly have a lifetime to change that vector.
This thread is horribly depressing, SLS. I think I'm out of here.
You are entitled to feel any way you like about others' life events. But the mark of maturity is doing something you don't care about doing just because it's important to someone you care about.
In the grand scheme, a minute of your time to say "Good for them" costs you nothing. When the picture comes to your phone, you can delete it promptly. (Of course, you'll be the only one in the family who missed the chance to see the third eye!) Unless you are at a family gathering where you are required to show your phone, no one will know you deleted the photo. Since that scenario is unlikely, the first part anyway, play nice and play along.
You are entitled to feel any way you like about others' life events. But the mark of maturity is doing something you don't care about doing just because it's important to someone you care about.
In the grand scheme, a minute of your time to say "Good for them" costs you nothing. When the picture comes to your phone, you can delete it promptly. (Of course, you'll be the only one in the family who missed the chance to see the third eye!) Unless you are at a family gathering where you are required to show your phone, no one will know you deleted the photo. Since that scenario is unlikely, the first part anyway, play nice and play along.
Exactly.
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