Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Thanks, but I'm fine. I'm not at all worried about when/if we have a friendship again. Whatever is going to happen will happen and I'll deal with whatever comes up as it comes up.
I just wanted to have a conversation about forgiveness since my married friend put the thought into my head one day after all that happened.
Honestly speaking if I'd known how many tangents the initial post was going to bring out of people I'd have written it differently, but, oh well, no going back now. lol Thankfully that aspect of things has calmed down to a very large degree.
And I'm very glad you wrote this part. I think this is missing to a HUGE degree from our society today. Too many people want to act like they never make mistakes in their lives or hurt anyone else (inadvertently or not). We're all humans and things happen. Often times bad things happen even why you try to keep them from happening. It's just life, but why not just let things go and go on with your life as best you can? (Rhetorical.) Again, with the caveat that the offending party actually acknowledges that they did something wrong to begin with, of course.
Has she said anything more, reached out to you in any way, or genuinely asked forgiveness?
Foggy, thank you for your kind words. I mostly just wanted to wish you happy days moving forward.
I won't take a firm position on discussing your feelings with her more than once. Your relationship was your unique relationship and you did what felt right in those moments. I will say, I know of at least two long term married couples where this happened and worked out to the good. Sometimes shy, reticent people just aren't sure about a relationship in general and the prospect of a specific one is scary. They need reassurance and time. In one couple, the wife was from a very neglectful, mentally/verbally abusive family. She didn't want to go from the frying pan into something that might later become a fire. She rode to work with a young guy from our neighborhood who gave her that reassurance and time. They've been happily married for over thirty-five years. The husband in the other couple was my school classmate. He was painfully shy and blushed beet red if anyone just looked at him for more than a second. I felt bad for him. I think teachers didn't call on him much because of this. And though generally well-liked, he endured teasing. I was really surprised when I heard he had gotten married. When I ran into his sister, she said the very clever young waitress at the diner next to his job found "lots" of things she needed help with at home. While he was over lifting, moving, painting and repairing, she was chatting away at him about things "they" could do. In a not very long while, he found himself married. They now have four grown kids and seven grand kids. You just never know.
And to the poster who says men and women can't be friends: Does that mean I have to get rid of my two great male friends of 40-50 years? One from college and one from early career. Nah!
Yeah that seems a too common theme on this board
All I can say is they are people, not animals.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.