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As long as things did not end on bad terms, I would be willing to reconnect with someone who I was friends with many years ago. I've moved a few times in my adult and likely so has the other person.
Can't remember if I answered this already (seems like a topic I would have contributed to). Not sure I have a solid answer at the moment. In the past this would have been easy. No question. If you are my friend...a real friend, I love you deeply. Those feelings never leave the heart. But I've taken some big hits lately and the older I get, the more it seems that some chapters should remain closed. No regrets. No grudges. But sometimes there's just no going back.
Nope. I've learned the trying to reestablish a relationship that didn't work the first time, won't work the second or third time, either. So, don't waste your time.
I've been the one to reach out to former friends, and while it's definitely nice to get in touch, and to catch up, sometimes it's just not the same.
One example for me being when contacted "Kim", someone whom my siblings and I had been friends with when we all lived in northern Arizona. She seemed glad to hear from me, but then stopped responding.......I don't know if she wasn't interested in staying in touch, or if it was because she also was in touch with my sister. (My sister and I aren't on speaking terms, people who are friendly with her don't/won't interact with me)
I've relocated several times in my adult life, so there are people I used to know I've lost touch with. And this is exactly why I have my Facebook account set so that anyone can look me up and send me a friend request. I've gotten friend requests from time to time from people I haven't seen or thought about in 25 years. When that happens, we message back and forth a couple times-"how have you been, where are you living now", etc. But then we just leave it at that-we haven't seen each other in ages, so we're just friends on Facebook and that's it. (If there's someone I don't want to get back in touch with, I decline the request and then block them.) If you were in your 20's last time you saw someone and you're now in your 50's, your life will probably be dramatically different than it was back then-people get married, have kids, etc. So I see nothing wrong with getting back in touch with someone I used to know by simply adding them as a friend on social media. If they want to pursue it beyond that, it's their choice-and if not, that's ok also.
In a way, and I mean this without sarcasm, you're fortunate. You actually had people come back to you. Perhaps their motives were selfish, bu they at least thought of you.
In my case, friends who "faded away" didn't "unfade." They disappeared and stayed there. I miss some than others and to varying extents attempted to keep the friendship/friendships alive. For the overwhelming most part, my efforts were in vain.
^^^^This.
I've had friends who "faded away" and "didn't unfade". In some cases, I was puzzled as to what happened. After I graduated college, I kept in touch with some friends but with a couple of them, it got to the point that I only heard from them when they wanted something. Needless to say, those friendships faded away.
I had a friend from high school whom I kept in touch with regularly. At some point, we lost touch. 15 years ago, our high school was having a huge reunion and I got involved with the planning. I did an internet search and found her. I sent her an email and let her know about the reunion and asked how she was doing. She wrote back, told me about her life and said she was excited about the reunion and to let her know about any updates as to the planning. I did as she asked and she never wrote back. She didn't go to the reunion either. After the reunion was over, I sent her one last email saying I was sorry she didn't make it and gave her a synopsis. I told her that I didn't know why she didn't respond but hoped she would. Never heard from her again.
Sometimes when friendships fade, I do feel sad about it. Yet, other times, all things considered, it was for the best. In college, I was friends with a classmate whom I (and our circle of friends) discovered was a liar. One day, I confronted her about a lie she told. She then stopped keeping in contact---no great loss. Then during summer break, she wrote me a letter asking if we "could bury the hatchet". I didn't answer back. Once back at college, I ran into her boyfriend who told me she missed me. I told him that if she wants to call me, she could. She never did call---which was fine by me.
When I was a kid, my parents forged friendships that lasted a lifetime. My parents were part of the "greatest generation". Looking back, my mother was a difficult person yet she maintained friendships. I always thought that she never realized how fortunate she was because there were times she wasn't nice to her friends. I grew up thinking that all my friendships would endure. Yet, my generation (baby boomers) never seemed to me to be serious about forging lifelong friendships.
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