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Does anyone know people who ration food with guests but make a big presentation?
Yes, and ration is the key word. I've seen that rationing habit in many people who were born prior to and during the WW1, Depression Years and WW2 eras and in post-war boomers born before the 1970's. Either they, or their post-war children who were raised up learning the habit from them, are literally practicing rationing and the 'waste not, want not' principles that everyone was forced to abide by with no choice in the matter. Some old habits die hard in people who have experience of the real hardships of having very few resources, little money and having to stretch any available staple foods and totally do without other types of non-staple and luxury foods.
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I'm in my 60's. My parents, aunts. uncles, family in laws, grandparents, and many older friends are nothing like that. Some came from families that lost everything, slave labor during the war and the DP camps, or others that came to this country with nothing. Without exception they are more of the dinner for 10 means cook for 20. You were offered food every time you saw them even if you were just dropping something off and leaving in a minute. They may have kept a few habits from their past but being cheap with food wasn't one of them.
I'm in my 60's. My parents, aunts. uncles, family in laws, grandparents, and many older friends are nothing like that. Some came from families that lost everything, slave labor during the war and the DP camps, or others that came to this country with nothing. Without exception they are more of the dinner for 10 means cook for 20. You were offered food every time you saw them even if you were just dropping something off and leaving in a minute. They may have kept a few habits from their past but being cheap with food wasn't one of them.
Same here. My parents were already a couple of generations from The Netherlands, but they grew up during the Depression and then lived through WWII.
We rarely ate out, but one of us kids had to peel about a dozen potatoes every night to go with some sort of meat and other vegetables. If someone showed up at the door around dinnertime, another plate was added to the table. There was always enough food to share.
Never cheap about food, except when they were shopping for it. It was all built around sales, and then those huge bags of potatoes...
When I was 13, my mother and I visited an old friend of hers from nursing school. She had no man in her life and no children of her own. But she had a large house and had taken in about 10 foster children, in their teenage years. We were invited to have lunch with them and were given the same as they all had, which was one slice of white bread and a thin slice of bologna. No dressing or lettuce and tomato. The foster kids were totally silent as we ate and I don't remember any of them talking at all, when we were there. There seemed to be no sense of humor in that woman and she had those kids totally repressed. I made the mistake of saying a few things and she looked at me and my mother as though I had committed some kind of offense by speaking in the presence of adults. I really wonder what life was like there, when no outsiders were present?
I can think of one worse situation. The person who pushes food on you and won't take "no" for an answer, then when you take them up on the offer they start complaining about how much all that food COST them! Or they invite you out to dinner, wherever you want to go, their treat, then haggle with the servers and complain about the check on the way home.
In that situation I would quietly sympathize that I didn't know they were having financial problems and slip them a 20. I have actually done something similar. I was once invited to a farewell party for a young couple in the hospitality business. They served a gourmet meal, complete with high end table wine and a split of champagne for every guest. I dropped a 50 in her purse to help with the expense, even though they didn't say a word about it.
When I was 13, my mother and I visited an old friend of hers from nursing school. She had no man in her life and no children of her own. But she had a large house and had taken in about 10 foster children, in their teenage years. We were invited to have lunch with them and were given the same as they all had, which was one slice of white bread and a thin slice of bologna. No dressing or lettuce and tomato. The foster kids were totally silent as we ate and I don't remember any of them talking at all, when we were there. There seemed to be no sense of humor in that woman and she had those kids totally repressed. I made the mistake of saying a few things and she looked at me and my mother as though I had committed some kind of offense by speaking in the presence of adults. I really wonder what life was like there, when no outsiders were present?
In Oregon, DHS pays a generous stipend for every foster child. Currently I think it's about $1700/month. Some people farm children, taking in foster children and then spending the absolute minimum on their care while they pocket the difference. Unfortunately, there is a shortage of foster homes, so DHS has to take what they can get.
Maintaining control of foster children can also be difficult. An extreme example was the teenage boy who killed his foster sister and foster mother at Lookingglass last year. Many foster children have serious behavior problems. I would reserve judgment until I knew what the situation was. You are right, though. If there were 10 foster children today, she would be raking in $17,000/month. For that amount of money, she should be cooking every meal, and a few condiments wouldn't break the bank.
When I was 13, my mother and I visited an old friend of hers from nursing school. She had no man in her life and no children of her own. But she had a large house and had taken in about 10 foster children, in their teenage years. We were invited to have lunch with them and were given the same as they all had, which was one slice of white bread and a thin slice of bologna. No dressing or lettuce and tomato. The foster kids were totally silent as we ate and I don't remember any of them talking at all, when we were there. There seemed to be no sense of humor in that woman and she had those kids totally repressed. I made the mistake of saying a few things and she looked at me and my mother as though I had committed some kind of offense by speaking in the presence of adults. I really wonder what life was like there, when no outsiders were present?
Where we used to live, a neighbor told me that one home (jailbird dad, drug addict mom, three sons all with criminal records) used to take in foster kids. People would see skinny kids dressed in threadbare warmweather clothing walking down the road, running away from that place. When someone picked them up and asked if they needed a ride, they heard the sordid story.
The good news is that the criminal “foster parents” got foreclosed on and moved away. The bad news is that they must have created a trail of misery before that happened.
Where we used to live, a neighbor told me that one home (jailbird dad, drug addict mom, three sons all with criminal records) used to take in foster kids. People would see skinny kids dressed in threadbare warmweather clothing walking down the road, running away from that place. When someone picked them up and asked if they needed a ride, they heard the sordid story.
The good news is that the criminal “foster parents” got foreclosed on and moved away. The bad news is that they must have created a trail of misery before that happened.
How do people like that even get approved for foster parenting?! What a horrible thing to do to kids!
In Oregon, DHS pays a generous stipend for every foster child. Currently I think it's about $1700/month. Some people farm children, taking in foster children and then spending the absolute minimum on their care while they pocket the difference. Unfortunately, there is a shortage of foster homes, so DHS has to take what they can get..
That is just a sickening way to exploit vulnerable children.
In that situation I would quietly sympathize that I didn't know they were having financial problems and slip them a 20. I have actually done something similar. I was once invited to a farewell party for a young couple in the hospitality business. They served a gourmet meal, complete with high end table wine and a split of champagne for every guest. I dropped a 50 in her purse to help with the expense, even though they didn't say a word about it.
Of course. This makes perfect sense for someone you suspect may in fact have financial constraints. I've done similar things. The person I was describing had anything but. A lifelong poormouther who had more $ than he knew what to do with.
People develop some weird routines surrounding food.
My ex-inlaws, now deceased would pour the breakfast orange juice out into their little juice glasses the night before. Every single night. I had no idea why.
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