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LOL. You folks are so funny and different about your stiff puritan sociosexual taboos and sensitivities and traditions.
Anyway, it's not like the customs that I'm used to and I do apologize that I obviously offended some of you, it wasn't intentional.
I can only conclude that maybe it's cultural differences between Canadians and Americans when it comes to what's considered offensive or appropriate gifts and conduct for bridal showers for brides and stag parties for grooms.
Here where I live both kinds of parties are intended for gifting all manner of personal things for the individuals (unlike staid wedding gifts for the couple and household) and the parties are for attendance by adults only with no children or opposite gender allowed at the parties, for getting a bit tipsy, for having lots of fun with plenty of joking around on the slightly raunchy side at both the brides' and the grooms' parties.
Down there where you all are I don't know what they're like, having never attended any. But from what some of you are saying here and what I've seen here in other threads about weddings and various pre-wedding parties it kind of sounds like they're way more conservative, very serious and not intended for getting a bit tipsy, having a lot of good natured rowdy fun and lots of laughs.
Again, sorry for having given offense. But I think I really like our kinds of parties better.
PS - forgot to mention this - Registering for wedding gifts is common here, but registering for gifts for a bridal shower is unheard of.
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Great, now I am picturing a Canadian bridal shower full of erotic gifts, with Grandma telling the bride where exactly she should use that feather on her man's nether regions, and that creepy uncle offering to point out her erogenous zones. Thanks for ruining Canada for me, lol.
I agree, when the shower is put on by and attended by the bride's peers, friends etc, bring on the raunchy gifts. But the OP is an aunt, and presumably other older relatives would be there. Also, a lot of showers are attended by younger people or kids.
Great, now I am picturing a Canadian bridal shower full of erotic gifts, with Grandma telling the bride where exactly she should use that feather on her man's nether regions, and that creepy uncle offering to point out her erogenous zones. Thanks for ruining Canada for me, lol
I agree, when the shower is put on by and attended by the bride's peers, friends etc, bring on the raunchy gifts. But the OP is an aunt, and presumably other older relatives would be there. Also, a lot of showers are attended by younger people or kids.
LOL. Feathers are only used along the spine and not elsewhere, (you can take that bit of advice from this grandma) and men are never invited to our bridal showers, be they creepy uncles or otherwise. Nor are any children allowed.
The ages and family relationships of the adult women present are irrelevant because all women are considered equal and should not be discriminated against because of older age or relationship. Keep in mind that older women generally have a lot more experience and been around the block a lot more times than inexperienced young women so not much surprises the old gals.
Be that as it may - I still give kudos to you for at least being brave enough to show your hand and admit here that you are capable of getting those kinds of dirty thoughts in your mind like what's in your first sentence above about feathers being applied to men's nether regions and creepy uncles pointing out erogenous zones. That was kind of creepy to think of that.
Thanks for all the responses. You gave me some great ideas....
The shower was absolutely lovely. It was held at a beachside restaurant and only 20 of us.
Mostly friends of her mom (my sister) and then the rest of her aunts and cousins. There are a lot of us and everyone is local within 15-30 minutes of each other. (South Florida)......
We got to meet the groom's mom and she is absolutely lovely......
Thanks for reporting back about the shower. A shower at a beachside restaurant sounds perfect and I think only 20 people is just a nice number as it is more intimate and less hectic than a really big crowd. Congratulations to the bride and groom on their upcoming wedding.
I came to this thread late so the shower is already over but it was really nice of the OP to give us an update. I think we're all spending more time online than ever before so we tend to get invested in these posts and like to see how things turned out.
My shower was about 40 years ago. My girlfriends, aunts, female cousins and mom were there and it was held in my maid of honor's living room. The gifts were mostly necessities like glasses, pots and pans, etc. but one gift stands out to this day and it was the gift from my mom. It was a beautiful, timeless, elegant, floor length peignoir and I loved it. I wore the set for many years and I felt like a princess in it.
I came to this thread late so the shower is already over but it was really nice of the OP to give us an update. I think we're all spending more time online than ever before so we tend to get invested in these posts and like to see how things turned out.
My shower was about 40 years ago. My girlfriends, aunts, female cousins and mom were there and it was held in my maid of honor's living room. The gifts were mostly necessities like glasses, pots and pans, etc. but one gift stands out to this day and it was the gift from my mom. It was a beautiful, timeless, elegant, floor length peignoir and I loved it. I wore the set for many years and I felt like a princess in it.
Yessss !! That's a lovely gift, just the best. Your mom is a woman after my own heart and I wonder if she and my own mother went to the same school of bridal etiquette. My mom was a dress maker (in her mid-70's at the time and that was 45 years ago) and that was her same shower gift that she made for me to wear on my wedding night of my 2nd marriage. A bridal peignor set made of ivory satin and lace with tiny hand-made pink satin rosettes stitched onto it. It was exquisite, and oh so sexy and luxurious feeling. I too felt like a princess in it.
Zoisite, it sounds like you're describing a "Bachelorette Party" rather than a shower.
A "shower" (in my neck of the woods) is usually held on a Sunday afternoon, at a local rental hall, with a catered meal, silly games and lovely gifts for the bride. Gifts like linens, cookware, dishes, etc. In attendance are the bride's mother, female relatives, her bridal attendants, the groom's mom and female relatives, bride's friends, co-workers.
The Bachelorette party is much like you described except it doesn't usually include more than the bridal attendants and a few of the bride's closest friends. They generally do a pub crawl with the bride in a veil and the giving of tacky erotic gifts. All in good fun. The exclusion of the "elder" women is the idea of the younger women who feel embarrassment at letting it all hang out in front of Moms and grandmas.
Zoisite, it sounds like you're describing a "Bachelorette Party" rather than a shower.
A "shower" (in my neck of the woods) is usually held on a Sunday afternoon, at a local rental hall, with a catered meal, silly games and lovely gifts for the bride. Gifts like linens, cookware, dishes, etc. In attendance are the bride's mother, female relatives, her bridal attendants, the groom's mom and female relatives, bride's friends, co-workers.
The Bachelorette party is much like you described except it doesn't usually include more than the bridal attendants and a few of the bride's closest friends. They generally do a pub crawl with the bride in a veil and the giving of tacky erotic gifts. All in good fun. The exclusion of the "elder" women is the idea of the younger women who feel embarrassment at letting it all hang out in front of Moms and grandmas.
What you call bachelorette parties are what we call stagette parties, and yes our stagettes are conducted similarly to how you describe a bachelorette party. The bride knows in advance about the stagette. No gifts are given at stagettes because nobody wants any baggage with them to haul around. The members attending a stagette are only a few exclusive closest friends/peers of the bride. No mothers, grandmas or other older people go to the stagettes because stagettes are too frenetic and moving around from one place to another all evening.
Our bridal showers can happen at any time and take place in the privacy of the homes of the maid of honour or a mother, sister or auntie or some other woman friend with a house big enough to accomodate a large group, and they're traditionally secret surprise parties for the bride. They're for women only, well organized and it's arranged ahead of time for somebody to be responsible for getting the bride to the bridal shower at a set time after everybody else has arrived at the house. Usually it's the fiance is let in on the secret and he's the one that sees to it that the bride arrives and gets dropped off at the party at the right time. When she arrives and walks in the door everyone there jumps out and yells "Surprise!" and then it's party-party time with everyone letting it all hang out. There's tons of food and beverages contributed by everyone there, enough to suit everyone. Lots of organized games, laughter, jokes and rowdiness that you couldn't get away with at public places. A joke bridal veil is made out of all the ribbons from the gift boxes and wrappings.
The household gifts you describe are what we consider utilitarian wedding gifts for the couple together, or for the general household and thus they only get given for the wedding itself. Household gifts like kitchenware, dishes, linens, small appliances, any other general household stuff etc. would be considered inappropriate for the bridal shower. The gifts that the bride gets at the bridal shower are all personal or romantically intimate gifts exclusively for the bride's personal use. Of course some guests will also give some small household gifts too in addition to the personal gifts they bring exclusively for the bride, and that's okay.
So ... there are some differences in the traditional customs of the western society in our two countries. And then of course there are all the multitude of very different ethnic bridal parties that happen, some of which are stunning, but that's a different story altogether.
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Your mom is a woman after my own heart and I wonder if she and my own mother went to the same school of bridal etiquette. 
My mom was a dress maker (in her mid-70's at the time and that was 45 years ago) and that was her same shower gift that she made for me to wear on my wedding night of my 2nd marriage. A bridal peignor set made of ivory satin and lace with tiny hand-made pink satin rosettes stitched onto it. It was exquisite, and oh so sexy and luxurious feeling. I too felt like a princess in it. 
