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Northeastern Pennsylvania Scranton, Wilkes-Barre, Pocono area
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Old 05-21-2009, 02:57 PM
 
2,834 posts, read 10,767,542 times
Reputation: 1699

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OK....it's no secret...I have a soft spot for Paul....I wish you all the best Paul..so glad to see a young adult aspire to be something and pull it off with such confidence and success. You have such a bright future and I wish you all the best.....Donna
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Old 05-21-2009, 04:01 PM
 
2,760 posts, read 3,954,370 times
Reputation: 1977
Safe travels and good luck in this new chapter of your life!
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Old 05-21-2009, 05:10 PM
 
Location: Marshall-Shadeland, Pittsburgh, PA
32,617 posts, read 77,624,272 times
Reputation: 19102
Wow! Somebody's jumping the gun just a little bit, but thank you so much! We're leaving with the U-Haul in almost exactly 36 hours. I have 75% of my packing done, and we went to Best Buy last night, where I bought a new desktop PC and a TV. I received notice from my employer today that they had received my final college transcripts, and I even ordered new super-patriotic return address mailing labels (in honor of an upstanding member who will no longer be with us). I feel scummy now as I'm covered with dust bunnies after cleaning out my bedroom closet, so I'll probably take a nice warm shower and then prepare to watch "The Office!"
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Old 05-21-2009, 05:14 PM
 
2,473 posts, read 5,454,994 times
Reputation: 1204
Default It Ain't Just A Job!!!!

A patient was at her doctor's office after undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live."

The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?"

The doctor replied, "Marry an accountant."

"Will that make me live longer?" asked the patient.

"No," said the doctor, "but it will SEEM much longer."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night."

"Have you tried counting sheep?"

"That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why accountants don't read novels?
Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Want to hear an accountant joke?"
The guy next to him replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I'm 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and I'm an accountant. And the guy sitting next to me is 6'2" tall, 225 pounds, and he's an accountant. Now, do you still want to tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, I don't want to have to explain it two times."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what does she say?
"Darling, could you tell me about your work."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A 54-year-old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one evening which read: "Dear Wife, I am 54 years old, and by the time you get this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy eighteen year old secretary."
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows: "Dear Husband, I too am 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Savoy Hotel with my eighteen year old toy boy. Because you are an accountant, you will surely appreciate that l8 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There once was a business owner who was interviewing people for a division manager position. He decided to select the individual that could answer the question "how much is 2+2?"
The engineer pulled out his slide rule and shuffled it back and forth, and finally announced, "It lies between 3.98 and 4.02".
The mathematician said, "In two hours I can demonstrate it equals 4 with the following short proof."
The physicist declared, "It's in the magnitude of 1x101."
The logician paused for a long while and then said, "This problem is solvable."
The social worker said, "I don't know the answer, but I a glad that we discussed this important question.
The attorney stated, "In the case of Svenson vs. the State, 2+2 was declared to be 4."
The trader asked, "Are you buying or selling?"
The accountant looked at the business owner, then got out of his chair, went to see if anyone was listening at the door and pulled the drapes. Then he returned to the business owner, leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, "What would you like it to be?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An Accountant's Budget: An orderly system for living beyond your means.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant he is replacing. Each and every morning as the more experienced accountant begins the day, he opens his desk drawer, takes out a worn envelope, removes a yellowing sheet of paper, reads it, nods his head, looks around the room with renewed vigor, returns the envelope to the drawer, and then begins his day's work.
After he retires, the new accountant can hardly wait to read for himself the message contained in the envelope in the drawer, particularly since he feels so inadequate in replacing the far wiser and more highly esteemed accountant. Surely, he thinks to himself, it must contain the great secret to his success, a wondrous treasure of inspiration and motivation. His fingers tremble anxiously as he removes the mysterious envelope from the drawer and reads the following message:

"Debits in the column toward the file cabinet.
Credits in the column toward the window."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pick-Up Lines For Accountants

1) You've got a lovely pair of W-2's.
2)Please, baby, let me withhold you.
3) Nice assets.
4) Lady, you make my pants file for an extension.
5) In my office, I.R.S. stands for I'm Really Sexy.
6) Let's fill out a 1040 - you are a 10 and I'm a 40.
7) If I help you screw Uncle Sam, can I be next?
8) Technically, having sex with me is like a charitable gift.
9) You're entitled to a $5,000 tax break on your municipal bond income... now let's do it.
10) You're the kind of girl I could take home to mother - which is good, since I still live with her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You Might Be An Accountant If...

you refer to your child as Deduction 214.

you deduct Exlax as "Moving expenses".

you have no idea that GAP is also a clothing store.

at the movie Indecent Proposal you did a NPV calculation.

getting to sleep is an exciting event that you look forward to all day long.

your idea of trashing your hotel room is refusing to fill out the guest comment card.

you are doing it now because you checked the file and found that you did it last year.

you decide to change your name to a symbol and you choose the double underline "======".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're just 1 heluva exciting guy Paul!!!

Best of luck!!!
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Old 05-21-2009, 05:43 PM
 
Location: Sunshine N'Blue Skies
13,321 posts, read 22,667,671 times
Reputation: 11696
Wow, Wonderful.........Almost packed up and ready to move, beginning a new journey.
I know you'll love the better wages earned in that area..........You'll love your environment........
Your heart might always be in Scranton.......
But this is a great location for you, and a good choice.
Your going to write us about "Sprawl" and about "Traffic".......for sure........
But.......then again you will be in the heart of America and it will be full of excitement.
I can't wait to hear of your adventures.....

Best of luck.........drive slow........and don't go on the "beltways" if you can avoid them...Yuck!
Hugs to you.......and a Ton of Wishes.
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Old 05-21-2009, 07:02 PM
 
28,164 posts, read 25,310,566 times
Reputation: 16665
Good luck Paul!!! As someone who is afraid to even more from the "Valley" I give you a lot of credit for moving away from your hometown!

I can tell you are an intelligent, caring person and I think you'll go far! :-)
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Old 05-21-2009, 07:45 PM
 
Location: Sarasota, Florida
15,395 posts, read 22,528,563 times
Reputation: 11134
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
Good luck Paul!!! As someone who is afraid to even more from the "Valley" I give you a lot of credit for moving away from your hometown!

I can tell you are an intelligent, caring person and I think you'll go far! :-)
That Valley mentality...you can leave the valley but it won't leave you. My heart is still back home. And good luck Paul, do Pittston proud!
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Old 05-21-2009, 07:52 PM
 
50 posts, read 103,169 times
Reputation: 47
Congratulations ScranBarre and 'Positive Thoughts' on your move. Its' been refreshing to read your posts over the past couple of years. Remember to take full advantage of being so close to Washington and taking in all that it has to offer. In a another day or so you'll be starting a new chapter in your life with endless possibilities. Best of everything.

http://www.akook.com/images/calvinandhobbes.jpg (broken link)
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Old 05-21-2009, 07:56 PM
 
Location: Scranton native, now in upstate NY
325 posts, read 806,527 times
Reputation: 94
Congratulations and best of luck, Paul!
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Old 05-21-2009, 08:43 PM
 
Location: Kennett Square, PA
1,793 posts, read 3,351,165 times
Reputation: 2935
big CONGRATS from me, too. I know you will succeed in your new environment. Take some great photos - looking forward to seeing them!!!
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