Do you feel that you "fit in" your NoVA neighborhood? (Reston: live in, club)

[Yankeesfan]

Originally Posted by Jesco White

Jesus, how much trouble would I get into if I went to the DC subforum and said "I just moved to a new neighborhood in anacostia. I feel as though I don't fit in because I'm not black. I also feel as though it's probably the neighborhood's fault that I'm not in line with the demographics quoted on wikipedia"

Look, you obviously live in Ashburn if everyone is blonde and you gauge your peers based off of you're daily trip to starbucks. There is no Community anywhere around here. It's a transient place by nature and people have reason to be suspicious of everyone because no one has ties to the area. Be happy you have a nice house, nice yard and nice neighborhood. Don't look for problems where none exist. If you're that uncomfortable, you could move elsewhere and then be worried about different things.

Truly. Fitting in and cliques and blondes? Are we in junior high? This is one of the most interesting, educated and diverse (which goes beyond skin and hair color) major metropolitan areas in the country. And most people have moved here from somewhere else.

[Bass101]

It's just that having a sense of belonging is important to my husband and me because we have no ties to this area otherwise, and have not yet found a sense of community. The homogeneity of the area just makes me feel very "different," that's all.

[pseudo]

What is it with all these that topics recently that are all about fitting in, moving to the right neighborhood cause other people are moving somewhere else, etc.? Are we that insecure about ourselves? Is everyone really that worried about what everyone else thinks? Yowza. It is almost beginning to feel like a high school health class.

It would be interesting to know if everyone else you deem as 'fitting in' felt the same way you did about your 'fitting in'. Your feeling that you don't fit in is immediately negated in that that good'ol perceived social feeling of 'fitting in' does not even exist. Therefore, what are you aiming for? Just pretend you fit in, that should suffice.

[tgbwc]

We definitely feel as though we fit in and are surprised that so many others on CD don't know their neighbors or find them unfriendly. We moved to West Springfield a year ago April. Since then my son has met so many kids in the neighborhood and pool that they are almost always outside. We volunteer with the swim and tennis club and serve on its board. I am on a first name basis with a ton of people and almost everybody is grounded and down to earth. A block party is planned for the end of the month and families help each other out whenever it is needed. Helping to watch another child, or getting them where they need to be happens almost daily.

[Yankeesfan]

Originally Posted by Bass101

It's just that having a sense of belonging is important to my husband and me because we have no ties to this area otherwise, and have not yet found a sense of community. The homogeneity of the area just makes me feel very "different," that's all.

Why don't you have an open house or party or barbecue and invite all your neighbors over, as well as all those people who are making you feel left out at Starbucks and the grocery store, and get to know them as individuals, not just as "blondes" or "middle-aged," and I bet you'll find that they are not at all homogeneous in their personalities or interests.

[normie]

Originally Posted by Jesco White

Look, you obviously live in Ashburn if everyone is blonde

It would be interesting to know what town the OP lives in. "Overly blonde" has never been my impression of Ashburn. Everytime I visit my friends over there I see lots of Indian people, middle-eastern people, oriental people, in fact people from pretty much every race. My guess was the OP moved to Culpeper or another one of those small towns way out in the country. Waterford, maybe. That's about the only place I can imagine where most people would be blonde.

[JD984]

My understanding from this post was that the OP moved to Vienna quite recently:

Recommendations: Painter and Handyman

[Yankeesfan]

So they've just moved in and already decided they don't fit in based upon what people look like at the grocery store ...

[Alicia Bradley]

The freaks come out in Fairfax City. In other words, yes.

[imisscarlsbadcalifornia]

We moved to NOVA almost two years ago. We bought a house in a nice neighborhood but like some others, we are something of an exception in our neighborhood because most of the folks who live here are young/growing families and my husband and I are childless by choice, middle aged, liberal, and non-religious.

Normie gave me some solid advice about a year ago. We both hail from California and while I am still very much struggling with home sickness, the advice I got still holds water. "Give it some time" I believe, was the first piece of advice. It may be the hardest thing to do at the moment, but I think it's a big part of the answer. I think Normie listed some other good ideas too. In fact, I suspect that if I had followed all of the good advice I've been given I'd likely be much further along in the cultivation of my sense of community/belonging.

I'm not very outgoing so I tend to turn inward and foster my more creative side. This might sound a little crazy, but I've really gotten into painting, design, and of all things, sewing and embroidery. Cooking too, has been something that has occupied my time. I don't know how old you are but I do think that forging new friendships is more challenging at middle age than when we are younger, but that doesn't mean it can't or won't happen. For now, I am content to pursue my creative interests somewhat independently and ultimately turn it into a small home based internet business.

I wish you well in finding your sense of belonging and community here. We live out in the boonies (Haymarket) and from an ethnicity standpoint our neighborhood is wonderfully diverse. On our street alone, and it's a small street, we have black, white, Asian, Indian, and Hispanic families. I love that because it's a little bit like home for me. And, we have a surprisingly diverse assortment of ethnic restaurants to choose from which is great. I say it's surprising because we live so far from the city. Maybe you haven't had a chance to see all of the people who live in your neighborhood yet?

In retrospect, when we bought our house we never once considered whether we'd "fit in". While we are far and away the odd balls in our neighborhood, the families around us are cordial and if anything ever went wrong I'd feel comfortable asking any of them for help in a pinch. Sometimes it comes down to choosing how you feel or how to look at things, at least in my case. I have had to work hard to find peace with this move. I don't love it here and I still miss home every day. But, I choose to make the best of it because life can be short and when I take a broad view, I've got it pretty darned good here.

Does it help to know that I'm a natural blonde, very light, white blonde, who colors her hair a firey coppery red (I've been red for nearly 20 years) and I love it? Keep what ever color you choose and work it is my advice!

Good luck to you and welcome to NOVA.