Commuting from Pittsburgh to Reston VA for work (Cleveland: renting, house)

[Brian15]

Thanks for the insight on that. Unfortunately I will not have the 4 day week option.. Atleast it sounds like it can be worked out for a little while

[jb124]

Originally Posted by Brian15

jb124 your friend does that? how many years has he been doing that commute? opinions

I've known him or about 5 years and he's been doing it at least that long. He does the drive at night, so there is no traffic. I fall asleep too easily to drive it at night myself but he does it just fine. He'll come home from work on a Thursday night and take a long nap, then start driving around midnight and still have time to nap on the other side before work Friday (he sometimes teleworks).

Reston is a nice area and is surrounded by other nice areas. There are good schools, both planned and unplanned communities, bike trails, lakes, shopping, etc. It might be worth considering the move. There are tons and tons of 1811 jobs here too, so there will be plenty of options to last your 9 years til retirement.

[billscamaros]

I've worked with several folks in NOVA who had their families living in Pittsburgh, one at least has done that for more than 10 years. I think that you and your wife have to be totally committed to that lifestyle. To agree with someone else's comment, I don't envy you that lifestyle as a father.

You didn't mention which Federal agency that you work with, and I don't know much about how the Fed LEO world works. Assuming that you could shift between agencies, there are probably places closer to Pittsburgh where you can find work. So hopefully your stay this far from home will only be short term.

Best wishes.

[Middlin]

My cousin and his wife did this for 4 years and ended up divorced. Frankly, it affected his relationship with his kids a great deal. He had two kids 7 & 9 when the commuting started. Ironically, he ended up leaving the job after the 4 years to move back to be near his kids. A painful lesson to say the least.

Obviously every relationship is different, but I would not jeopordize (long term) my marriage and my relationship with my children for a pension plan. Time to move on.

[Brian15]

Thank you very much for the information. Ideally we would move, we are just having a very hard time with me only needing 9 years and my wife is very established within her career as an attorney in Pittsburgh. It is asking a lot for her to sacrifice everything she worked for as well. I am and will be looking for jobs in Pittsburgh but it is very difficult job market for my skill set here. Thankyou

[Brian15]

Thank you so much billscamaros. I appreciate the insight as well. It is very difficult to find an agency to lateral within Pittsburgh. I am working every avenue i can to try this. Thanks!

[Brian15]

Thank you middling, I totally understand what your saying. My wife is fully committed until i can find something back in Pittsburgh. She is very established within her career as well. Our entire support staff is here so we have lots of work ahead. You are right about giving up family for pension. it is not anything I want to do. thank you

[Middlin]

The good news should you decide to move to Reston is that there is no shortage of law firms here

[dmv101010]

My first thought to this this is your marriage and your children, if you do this you risk loosing both for the perm.
Why would you even consider this with two young children? No way! The wife will only grow to resent you.
As horrible as it sounds you have to choose between family or career and I think you know the right one to choose.
Either rent your home and uproot everyone and move here or find emoloyment where you currently live.
The old saying thinking that you can have everything you want all at once ISN'T true, you might sacrifice that early retirement but at least you will have a strong family.
Best of luck.

[michgc]

Originally Posted by dmv101010

My first thought to this this is your marriage and your children, if you do this you risk loosing both for the perm.
Why would you even consider this with two young children? No way! The wife will only grow to resent you.
As horrible as it sounds you have to choose between family or career and I think you know the right one to choose.
Either rent your home and uproot everyone and move here or find emoloyment where you currently live.
The old saying thinking that you can have everything you want all at once ISN'T true, you might sacrifice that early retirement but at least you will have a strong family.
Best of luck.

But it doesn't sound like it is that easy of a decision. If they all move to Reston, his wife will resent him, too if she has her own career back in Pittsburgh that she'd have to give up. So the only other option is to find a job in Pittsburgh, which he already said will be difficult.

I feel for the OP. We did a move for my husband's job. I had been a SAHM for many years, so I wasn't giving up a career (although I did give up a job I had), and I have not been happy here. While I don't resent my husband for the move, it has not been an easy situation. I now have no job, we're farther from my family and our friends and the area is not to our liking. But the job has trumped everything because it's well-paying with great benefits and stability.

For the OP, they have one job if they stay and one job if they leave - not an easy choice. From experience, I would stay in Pittsburgh if I were them. Moving would be a big change - not to mention much more expensive going from Pittsburgh to Reston - and one of them would still give up a career. I don't think it would hurt to try the commute to Reston idea and see how it goes. You can always make your decision after you try it out.