Answer to "Why Do You Still Live in Oklahoma?" (Tulsa: credit, law)

[the12ronin]

...Yeesh...He's an S, She's a Z, They're both smiley faces but their friends are underscores...I'm an exclamation point...my father's a hyphen..





Gonna have to check that little test out meself one of these days. Interesting stuff.

[Bass&Catfish2008]

Originally Posted by flintysooner

Just anecdotal but when I was a kid graduating from high school way back when there really were a lot of my group that married very quickly either out of high school, during college, or soon after college. It was very common for couples to form early in high school or even junior high. And it was relatively uncommon still for people to divorce.

By the time my children were graduating from high school it seemed to me that most of their group was waiting until sometime during college or after and some much later. At the same time divorce in my group became much more common.

Now I have grandchildren in college and practically none of their group (so it seems to me at least) are getting married quickly. The idea of exclusive couples seems even strange. Divorce in their parents' group seems to have occurred much earlier than in mine but probably not significantly greater rate.

Still my advice to my grandchildren is to wait on marriage until you've had a chance to live alone and develop your own sense of self and independence. I tell them the world is a very large place and to slow down and enjoy the journey. Of course, they pay about as much attention to me as I paid to my parents and grandparents.

So true. Great advice.

[Atlguy39]

Originally Posted by the12ronin

Nice post flinty.

Funny, this all being said..I just yesterday spoke with a woman on the phone(just had become acquainted) and come to find out she had four kids. I silently chuckled to myself at the would-be sterotype that many of the women are with child, but just dismissed it off. The pertinent part of the story comes later though, when I asked her -if- the stereotype was true. This was a born and raised Okie mind you. She said, " yep, bout 90 percent of us got kids. Just the way it is out here."

Now of course thats only the opinion of one person, but after remotely prospecting the lasses out yonder, I definitely do see a dubious trend with the multitude of photos I receive with children in them and the mother's single. Which, as stated above, is certainly heroic of a single woman to do on her own. I was raised exclusively by my Mother and to my mind, there is no greater woman that walks this earth.

However..to be fair to both sides here, it is a our choice and preference as single men to opt for a woman without children, especially if we are looking to start a family of our own -or- are not in the right places in our lives to have the responsibility of little ones. Not to mention the many issues their father will in certain cases enter into our lives, disrupting its quality.


Bottom line, it's all opinion on this topic from all parties here, but personally speaking, I am not open to dating a single mother. My reasons are my own and that is that. Which of course could be a negative for such as I when it comes to moving my career out there to OKC.

This has been my experience almost exclusively. Goodpasture hates me and will say I'm wrong or whatever, but it is my experience. Like you, I don't want to date a woman with kids. For me, its because I want my own and don't want ex-husband or boyfriend drama. Its pretty simple, really. I'd go back to that town they ran me out of (as Goodpasture puts it. He sure is friendly) if I could work remotely with my company, but not an option, so here I am for however long I need to be here.

[the12ronin]

It's really that consistent huh ATL? Most all the women you happen upon in the city usually have had kids?


Not good my friend, not good at all. It makes it very tricky I bet.

[Goodpasture]

Originally Posted by Atlguy39

Goodpasture hates me and will say I'm wrong or whatever, but it is my experience.

What on earth makes you think you are important enough to me to warrant hate? I just find it tedious for people to whine about how much they hate things unless they become proactive in changing things. You hate something? Change it. It's simple.

[GraniteStater]

ISTJ here. Oklahoma City seems similar to Kansas City, which tends to have more of an extroverted populace overall. The social culture there, unfortunately, is all to similar as people tend to get married or have kids at a young age compared to the national average which tends to punish people who focus on career first before even remotely considering the former items at a later age. So, I have tended to pursue opportunities in my career field around the country while most of my extended family have never left the Kansas City metro area - even though most have traveled around extensively. For many family ties are important and I understand that. However, many people these days have specialized career fields where employment opportunities and potential is not distributed evenly. Flexibility and openess to taking different positions, moving and travel are much more important now.
I live in Madison, WI now and it is an interesting blend of personalities, but far more introverted than many places in the US, more similar to northern Europe or Canada culturally which is quite refreshing. Good opportunities in a number of career fields and job categories although not as transient as I would expect. I love analyzing demographics and I have a Geographic Information Systems (GIS) background, applicable to many different career fields and positions.

[StillwaterTownie]

Originally Posted by Jess5

I've never known men to have cliques, or "clicks", as you call them. Maybe you're trying too hard, and coming across as annoying. It sort of reads that way.

Just go to the cafe, possibly a mom and pop one, where they go to every morning to have coffee or breakfast. Many of them may be retired, but that's their clique.

[StillwaterTownie]

Originally Posted by Atlguy39

First, I'm divorced and this is not the place you want to be single and trying to date. Its been nearly impossible for me to meet an attractive woman that I want to go out with a 2nd time. They get married at 22, have kids, and are divorced with kids by 30. They typically don't want more. The divorce rate is extremely high here. That's huge for me because I want my own family.

Sorry, but Oklahoma women are pretty hard to get along with. Oklahoma imprisons women at a higher rate than any other state. I wonder why? Well, have you ever tried telling an Oklahoma woman, "no"?

[StillwaterTownie]

Originally Posted by okcpulse

Yet these same people never champion the state's Native American culture, art and music culture and Oklahoma's surprisingly rich African American history. Why is that?

As far as AA history, few people want to have to arrive to the Tulsa riot, or that the first law Oklahoma passed as a new state was Jim Crow.

[flintysooner]

Originally Posted by StillwaterTownie

Just go to the cafe, possibly a mom and pop one, where they go to every morning to have coffee or breakfast. Many of them may be retired, but that's their clique.

Those are kind of open cliques though, at least in my experience, as it is fairly easy to join in. I'm sure you've seen someone actually pull up a chair or maybe even rearrange tables and chairs if there are several.

I see this now in Starbucks all the time. And its not limited to men. For instance not long ago a lady approached us there because she graduated high school with one of our party and she pulled up a chair and joined right in. And I've already established that high school was long ago for me and Goodpasture.

Now would I do something like that? Never, but I am in awe of people who are so comfortable they can do that.

I think the retired guys go over to Braum's. LOL.