Should I stay or should I go? ... leave OC for Ohio? (where to live, move to)

[timtemtym]

I'm in a similar situation but with Texas. I would make about 20k less per year there but my take-home after taxes would only be 700 less (no state income taxes, no union dues, lower federal tax bracket). My rent would be 1k less per month so that's not too bad.

I was going to spend a week there for Christmas, but my sister suggested I say two (and then said I'd likely change my mind about moving back). After being home for that time I'm leaning more towards staying in California another year, but I have another two months to decide.

My parents are older but mostly healthy though. I get your struggle and I suggest what someone above me did, go home for an extended time and get a real feel of how it is to be there for an extended time. Look at some options for where you'd live, try out a commute (even though it's the holidays). Try to do some of your enjoyable California routines (coffee places, foods, restaurants, workouts, hangouts, etc...). Get a feel for it before you commit to uprooting.

Also think about what you could do to make friends in California, build some community.

[zeekosu]

Thanks for all the replies. I've really struggled with this decision, but feel that it's in my best interest long term to move home and these are my reasons...

1. Regardless of if I decide to keep this job for now or not, I eventually want to move back to Ohio to be near family. That's important to me. Right now it's not a huge huge priority, but in a few years it definitely will be. I have a decent job in front of me that allows me to get back there now. If I pass this opportunity up, there may not be anything as good when I do decide to leave.
2. I work for a startup - even though the schedule has been somewhat relaxed up until now, it's bound to get crazy - late nights, weekends, etc. I'm not sure I'm up for that anymore.
3. I spend a good 2-3 hours on the freeway every day - time that could be used doing something else.
4. The money I would potentially make from this startup being successful is years away or not there at all - a big risk.
5. If I decide to stay here temporarily, I'm essentially staying in limbo with dating and making friends - considering I'd leave anyways in a few years. At this age I probably need to get on with my life and stop postponing things.
6. Although I'll make less in Ohio, my money will go a lot further.
7. Although there's a lot of adventure in California, the work schedule of the job in Ohio is flexible - with every other Friday off. I can easily take a long weekend and travel to find adventure.
8. My mom is aging - while she's not in super poor health, she will decline eventually and I'll regret not being around there to help her.

A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush i guess.

[Finper]

Originally Posted by zeekosu

Thanks for all the replies. I've really struggled with this decision, but feel that it's in my best interest long term to move home and these are my reasons...

1. Regardless of if I decide to keep this job for now or not, I eventually want to move back to Ohio to be near family. That's important to me. Right now it's not a huge huge priority, but in a few years it definitely will be. I have a decent job in front of me that allows me to get back there now. If I pass this opportunity up, there may not be anything as good when I do decide to leave.
2. I work for a startup - even though the schedule has been somewhat relaxed up until now, it's bound to get crazy - late nights, weekends, etc. I'm not sure I'm up for that anymore.
3. I spend a good 2-3 hours on the freeway every day - time that could be used doing something else.
4. The money I would potentially make from this startup being successful is years away or not there at all - a big risk.
5. If I decide to stay here temporarily, I'm essentially staying in limbo with dating and making friends - considering I'd leave anyways in a few years. At this age I probably need to get on with my life and stop postponing things.
6. Although I'll make less in Ohio, my money will go a lot further.
7. Although there's a lot of adventure in California, the work schedule of the job in Ohio is flexible - with every other Friday off. I can easily take a long weekend and travel to find adventure.
8. My mom is aging - while she's not in super poor health, she will decline eventually and I'll regret not being around there to help her.

A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush i guess.

Good choice... I know someone that moved to Cincinnati. They are going to football games, Kentucky and went to Nashville for NYE. They love it and are doing a lot more there then they did here

[expatCA]

Originally Posted by zeekosu

Thanks for all the replies. I've really struggled with this decision, but feel that it's in my best interest long term to move home and these are my reasons...

1. Regardless of if I decide to keep this job for now or not, I eventually want to move back to Ohio to be near family. That's important to me. Right now it's not a huge huge priority, but in a few years it definitely will be. I have a decent job in front of me that allows me to get back there now. If I pass this opportunity up, there may not be anything as good when I do decide to leave.
2. I work for a startup - even though the schedule has been somewhat relaxed up until now, it's bound to get crazy - late nights, weekends, etc. I'm not sure I'm up for that anymore.
3. I spend a good 2-3 hours on the freeway every day - time that could be used doing something else.
4. The money I would potentially make from this startup being successful is years away or not there at all - a big risk.
5. If I decide to stay here temporarily, I'm essentially staying in limbo with dating and making friends - considering I'd leave anyways in a few years. At this age I probably need to get on with my life and stop postponing things.
6. Although I'll make less in Ohio, my money will go a lot further.
7. Although there's a lot of adventure in California, the work schedule of the job in Ohio is flexible - with every other Friday off. I can easily take a long weekend and travel to find adventure.
8. My mom is aging - while she's not in super poor health, she will decline eventually and I'll regret not being around there to help her.

A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush i guess.

Good for you. A wise decision and you have considered the most important things.

[BunkieFam]

I read in the Victor Valley Daily Press this morning that Ohio made the GoBankingRates list for the top places to LEAVE California to go to... This includes Ohio. Odd, right? I have never been to OH, but at least you wouldn't be taxed to death in CA!

[zeekosu]

well... i thought i was sure about what i was doing... but now i'm not so sure. I really enjoy what i'm doing now.

Essentially, I'm battling the fact that i love what i'm doing now, i make great money, i'm in an area I enjoy. So, I don't really want to leave - but leaving is probably in my best interest for the future. How does one make that choice? To do something you don't want to do right now, but that it might be a good long term choice?

Again, even though I make great money, the job is not guaranteed since it's 2 year old startup.

[Coldjensens]

One thing I can tell you from experience. California is way better when you visit it than when you live in it. You can vacation there and enjoy it more.

However you may find it hard to get back. I have not been back in several years. It gets expensive you have other priorities, it is hard to make the time, especially when you have a family and they all have their own schedules.

If there is something you have been wanting to do Kings Canyon Sequoia, Sutters, mill area, see the poppies bloom in the high desert, Zion canyon, Joshua Tree, Catalina island, Yosemite, Death Valley, etc. Go do it before you leave. Even if you come back and visit, you may not get around to visiting those bucket list places.

[TacoSoup]

Originally Posted by zeekosu

well... i thought i was sure about what i was doing... but now i'm not so sure. I really enjoy what i'm doing now.

Essentially, I'm battling the fact that i love what i'm doing now, i make great money, i'm in an area I enjoy. So, I don't really want to leave - but leaving is probably in my best interest for the future. How does one make that choice? To do something you don't want to do right now, but that it might be a good long term choice?

Again, even though I make great money, the job is not guaranteed since it's 2 year old startup.

Following this thread it sounds like to me you never really wanted to leave, otherwise you would’ve been long gone by now. You are fortunate to have a great job that you love, why leave it? I get wanting to be around family, but family that truly loves you would want you to do what makes you happy. You can’t predict the future, and have no way of knowing which decision will be better. Personally I’d stay here, better opportunities and quality of life. I had a somewhat similar situation with aging family and a good job opportunity in the Midwest. At their request they told me to stay here and enjoy my life. Best of luck in whatever you decide.

[zeekosu]

It's hard to say for sure... I certainly don't want to leave right now, but I think leaving is probably in my best interest for the future. I know for sure I don't want to be here long term. If I stay I don't want to stay more than 4 years.

The main fears I have are...
-In 4 years, what opportunities will there be for me to go back? There aren't many great opportunities back near family, but the one i'm being offered is. What if there aren't any good opportunities in 4 years? Does that mean I'm stuck here?
-In those 4 years, how much will I be able to see my family? My sister is going to have a baby and my mom is getting older. That's 4 years of time not being able to spend with family making memories.

[expatCA]

Originally Posted by zeekosu

It's hard to say for sure... I certainly don't want to leave right now, but I think leaving is probably in my best interest for the future. I know for sure I don't want to be here long term. If I stay I don't want to stay more than 4 years.

The main fears I have are...
-In 4 years, what opportunities will there be for me to go back? There aren't many great opportunities back near family, but the one i'm being offered is. What if there aren't any good opportunities in 4 years? Does that mean I'm stuck here?
-In those 4 years, how much will I be able to see my family? My sister is going to have a baby and my mom is getting older. That's 4 years of time not being able to spend with family making memories.

Staying would be self focused

Going would be family focused

Which is more important and will bring the greatest happiness?

Money does not do that, it just helps make misery feel a little better.