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A lot depends on the circumstances. "Miss" is nice when you know someone is saying it to let you know you are "still young". it's flattering. "Ma'am" is nice when it's a very young person who is being respectful. Just don't tell me I'm "spry". I hate that one.
I'm definitely old enough to be "ma'amed" so I 'm fine with it. Here in the south, it is a title denoting respect.
Exactly. It may be a southern thing. I'm a native of Virginia, a state that is rapidly losing it's "southerness". I get tripped up by this sort of thing all the time. There are so many words that I learned as "respectful terms" that I now have to be careful about saying because some of the new people moving here from northern states get offended.
"Sweetie" is one that got me in trouble recently. When I was growing up, if you wanted to make a gentle reprimand you added the word "sweetie." That's how the other person would know that you were correcting a small error but it wasn't a big deal, you still liked them.
Example: "Sweetie, you can say something 100 times but that still doesn't make it so."
When I was growing up, putting sweetie on a statement like that softened the blow. But the other day I learned the hard way that instead of making it gentler, apparently using the word "sweetie" now makes a statement into a huge insult. Same goes for "honey" and sugar" and "maam" and all the phrases that used to be part of my culture.
By the way, when I got my first job as a person who walked around a theater lobby selling flowers, I was given this advice:
When you see someone someone who is obviously single and on a date, ask them if they want a flower for their wife. They giggle, they blush, and it sells the flower a lot of times. If you see someone who looks good and married, ask them if they want a flower for their girl friend. If you see someone who looks young and is self conscious about it, call her "ma'am" (respectfully). And vice versa, call the middle-aged woman "miss."
That's how you sell a lot of flowers!
I love it, Caladium! Sage advice! Don't you just love psychology?
I have to admit, being called "ma'am" makes me feel old. I prefer "miss."
I don't mind the distinction. I think it is quite respectful and consistent with good manners. God knows we could use more of people using good manners and showing respect for one another.
I grew up saying Ma'am and Sir. It doesn't bother me one little bit.
Here lately it been Thank you Momma.....I ain't but one person's Momma.
I am frequently called Ma'am and I deserve it. I dislike being "guys" which seems to be what waitstaff is instructed to call diners. I find it rude, actually; but is more likely laziness of thought. I am not dude, nor guy, nor any of several slang phrases/words being tossed around. I am very comfortable with Ma'am, Miss, My Lady, or Madam. Your Highness works in some situations <grin> as does Mistress.
I wonder if Tony the T lives in Philly and has a really neat plane collection?
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Here in the south, it is a title denoting respect.
). Beats being called "girlie" or "missy."
Don't you just love psychology? 
