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This is bad and Granny would kill me but it's just too darn cute..... My lil guy is just shy of three and he has just learned the "bean, beans, the musical fruit" song lol I sent him to school w/baked beans and that night WHEW! He dances and after every phrase he toots "beans, beans" toot "the musical fruit" toot "the more you eat" toot "the more you poot "toot" heehee
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop it guys. I've got tears coming down my face. I'm gonna be laughing so hard that a fart is going to come out. LMAO!!! Anyway, women NEVER fart. We have "vapors". Or as my youngest calls it "pass gas". OMY!! One time at the grocery store w/ her when she was about 2 it was SOOO FUNNY!!! We were on a crowded aisle and all of a sudden you could smell something pretty raunch. My child grabs her nose and starts saying at the top of her lungs, "someone pass gas"!
As for the dogs. We have never run the dog off but we did have a Dalmatian that could clear a room in a hurry. He even had audible ones. Strange for a dog I know. Now w/ two lap dogs if I smell something I don't know which one to blame so they both get put outside. The youngest one is 1 1/2 and about 7 lbs. She likes to sleep under the covers. If you have an audible one and it is close to her, well, let's just say any "odd" noise she has to find where it is coming from w/ her sniffer.
Peanut M&M's and beer. Good combonation but deadly for an AAF. That is just bad.
We were on a crowded aisle and all of a sudden you could smell something pretty raunch. My child grabs her nose and starts saying at the top of her lungs, "someone pass gas"!
My kids will say to whomever "lit one" "what crawled up your butt and died?" My husband is terrible about his farts and he tries to make us gag. He will wait till we are in the pickup then he will let them rip and we always end up gagging. I won't ride in his semi with him thanks to his stench, nasty!
He is also very bad about blowing his nose in the shower! When he is home, about 2 days out of every 4 weeks, I bleach the shower when he is done. It is just so nasty!!!
LoveBoating..my DH was raised on a spud farm and his whole family did and still does what you said. They never did grow out of it, haha.
We had some friends in Rome, GA, where, when everyone was in the pool, the dad would let the boys, ages 3 and 5, pee in the back yard on the shrubs. The wife would, of course, tell him to stop.
Fast forward to the fall when Grandma takes the boys to dinner at Shoney's after church. They're waiting out in front of the store, when the oldest realizes he needs to go. And there's shrubbery right in front of the window...
Funny, but if I have a shot of Tequila and burp a little or if I just happen to squeeze out a fart, I'll look at my wife and say, "don't light a match around me or I'll turn into a Human Blowtorch!!!!!!!!
Oh the fun we all have. And we thought the kids only had all the fun........I don't think so!!!!!!!!
We had some friends in Rome, GA, where, when everyone was in the pool, the dad would let the boys, ages 3 and 5, pee in the back yard on the shrubs. The wife would, of course, tell him to stop.
Fast forward to the fall when Grandma takes the boys to dinner at Shoney's after church. They're waiting out in front of the store, when the oldest realizes he needs to go. And there's shrubbery right in front of the window...
They had McDonald's on the way home.
Ahhh. I had my girls even go outside when we were out in the pool. No one can see in the backyard so after a couple of wet trips in I'd tell them to hit the side yard. Well, we had company over all out in the pool and my youngest has had to go squat already 2 times (w/ my help). On the 3rd time she "HAD TO GO" she went by herself. A little later I had to go around the side to get something out of the pool supply box and saw something that I KNOW the dogs DID NOT DO! Baby, we don't do THAT outside.
Pixie owes me a keyboard, as this one has snot blown all over it from me laughing so hard.
I have to insert my own fart story here.
Upon completion of a one year overseas tour, I came home to my family and we all took a trip out west to Colorado and Wyoming. Keep in mind that I had been on a limited military diet for one year, with the occasional native asian meal. So we fly out to Colorado and get in a rental car. It took about one week for my body to re-adjust to American, good ol cookin, and this was the week. My old man stopped the car and told me to get out a dozen times a day. Threatened to leave my rotten ass in Steamboat Springs, and meant every word of it. It was that bad. The rental car place charged us and extra 25 dollars to disinfect their car, claiming that we had left rotting food inside. I am the butt gas champion of my family.
A little later I had to go around the side to get something out of the pool supply box and saw something that I KNOW the dogs DID NOT DO! Baby, we don't do THAT outside.
Yeah, I never did understand that one. My husband and son are shower blowers.
AT HOME, I am guilty of .......... while enjoying a cold beer also enjoying a good burp. I have been know (at home) to also let one rip. Hey the guys do it and think its funny !!!
I know many guys think that women don't fart or burp, but if we didn't our heads would blow up!
Well my husband and I are always acusing the other of farting all the time. So one day on Oprah, her doctor said that the average person farts 14 times a day. So yes we did, we counted how many times a day we farted. Exact numbers aren't necessary, let's leave it that I am above average.
I'm at work reading this, and I almost blew potato chips out my nose!!! LOL! Just the idea of actually counting them...! I bet I'd be an over achiever in this area.
Okay, here are my contributions on rude people:
There was an old guy who stopped by to make a deposit one day, and he asked for some more generic deposit slips. I gave him a few, and he put them in his mouth to hold them while he finished his transaction. I cringe whenever he comes in now!
Then there was a client who burped right in my ear when I picked up the phone. Gross!!!
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Or as my youngest calls it "pass gas". OMY!! One time at the grocery store w/ her when she was about 2 it was SOOO FUNNY!!! We were on a crowded aisle and all of a sudden you could smell something pretty raunch. My child grabs her nose and starts saying at the top of her lungs, "someone pass gas"! 
Baby, we don't do THAT outside.
