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I dont agree with any of you. I think you need to give the bullies consequenses before they turn into criminials. Because honestly if they did these kinds of behaviors as adults they would be considered either mentally ill or be in jail. If other childrens perants dont allow their kids to play with your over something like that then honestly the family is probably pretty ghetto and I wouldnt want my kids to play with people with that mantality. People we need to hold our kids to higher standards they are the future of our country if you have these generic old school views that bullying is a right of passage for children you are cutting them short. That is why most successful people come out of private school because they are more on top of bullying and problems the way all schools should be ran. The kids in private schooling are treated like they are all special and they should never be subjected to that. If other perants at my kids private school were against sticking up for what right they would be booted out faster than they could imagine. Your kids are worth it. Do what ever you need to to show your kids that you believe and stand up for them 100 percent. And dont be bullied not to press charges or you are showing your kids that it is better to be quiet for sake of being liked and that is never an option.
I think your kids self esteme comes first.
Consider taking him out of school as a circuit breaker for a while. I am not really into home schooling but if it gives him back his self confidence then it may be a good thing.
Add in some other activities to help him fight back
Then consider another school. Private if you can afford it. Not saying that Private schools have no bullying but I suspect that they would deal with it better.
I think your kids self esteme comes first.
Consider taking him out of school as a circuit breaker for a while. I am not really into home schooling but if it gives him back his self confidence then it may be a good thing.
Add in some other activities to help him fight back
Then consider another school. Private if you can afford it. Not saying that Private schools have no bullying but I suspect that they would deal with it better.
If you're responding to the OP, please note that this thread was started almost four years ago. Likely the problem has been solved at this point.
I have custody of my nephew, he just got both of his front top teeth knocked out by another boy on the school playground. No one saw anything, except the aftermath, Damien's blood and teeth which needed removed by a dentist. He is in kindergarten no less! Aren't there camera's? I mean if some adult comes and swipes up a child from the playground; is there going to be no one to see it occur?
Yes, it is possible to sue the families of the bullying parents and win. There are an increasing number of successful lawsuites of this kind. I cannot agree with the posts on this thread that say "don't sue b/c it just makes things worse." That's what allows bullies to get away with it -- the victim is afraid to take any real action, b/c it might get "worse." So he just endures what is already awful.
I do agree that a lawsuit should be a last resort and you should think it through carefully. If possible, try talking to the bullies' parents first. Sometimes it is true that this will produce results. But sometimes it doesn't -- sometimes the parents are bullies themselves, sometimes they really don't care as long as their own kid isn't bullied. Then you have to push back hard. What have you got to lose? Afraid the kid might be bullied? He already is!
To have a good chance at an effective lawsuit, start by talking to the parents of the bullies. Do it in a friendly way, hope for the best, but make it very clear what is going on, that it is hurting your kid badly, that it must stop. Keep a record of your conversations with the families -- you don't have to go in wired for sound, but do start keeping a notebook and note down who you talked with, the dates, what was said, and any results. Do the same thing with your conversations with the school. Also, document every incident of bullying, even if it seems trivial. A lot of trivil things occurring day after day, can add up to a very ugly picture. If there are any injuries, take pictures, see a doctor, and get a medical record. If the child starts seeing a counselor to deal with the emotional consequences of bullying (which is a very good idea), keep records of things that come out in counseling, what ideas you have tried to stop the bullying, also your expenses in paying for it. Whenever possible, film and get pictures. There have been an increasing number of cases where bullies have been busted by being caught on film or tape doing and saying awfull things. This is an extreme analogy, but when did racists in the south stop routinely doing godawful things to African Americans? When the attack dogs and fire hoses and the faces of lynch victims were shown and the perps couldn't hide any more. Also, talk routinely with the bullied child -- about the bullying obviously, but also about every day stuff and other things going on in the child's life. The child is much more likely to talk with parents if parents regularly communicate and listen on all kinds of subjects -- and this helps you get a better picture of what's going on about the bullying. Finally, talk to a lawyer. Only a lawyer can give you a realistic idea of whether you have a chance of winning. Look online for lawyers in your state who have handled bullying claims successfully; also call your local county Bar Association and see if you can get a low cost or free consult if money is an issue.
It would be nice if these issues could be resolved in a friendly, polite way, out of court. It would be so great if you could just be nice to the bullies, and they would be nice back, and we could all treat each other the way we would want to be treated. But unfortunately, it does not always work out that way. There are some people who will be just unbelievably mean until there is some consequence for them, only then will they stop. Good luck. I hope all bullied kids and their families can find solutions so they can have a decent growing up.
And if the kid in question dispenses a good deal of pain, the bully will move onto somebody else. What's more, the kid in question will actually earn a little self-esteem in the process.
And a suspension/expulsion from school. Unfortunately.
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