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Old 07-02-2007, 02:01 AM
 
25,084 posts, read 13,910,330 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CityGirl72 View Post
I'm a little in shock. I have a boy and I love him to bits and I was immediately happy when I knew he was a boy. I don't know how I feel about a girl.

I worry she'll have low self esteem as a teen like I did, that she will have sexual problems like I did, or that she might get pregnant on accident like I did (years ago) and that she's have to endure so many crappy things that girls do when growing into women.

I was not like this with my boy.

Why am I like this? Why can't I be happy and ecited like the rest of my family is. My husband is disappointed in me that I'm not hopping up and down happy.
I was reared in a household where to be a male meant u were a crown prince and u never had to do any house work. If u were a girl its was just too bad u were just barely tolerated. It is interesting how things in our family turned out the males look to their sisters to help them with life issues, but the males don't help back. The females are the ones who have remained constant in holding the family together and caring for elderly parents and passing on the blessing of family unity to their children. Girls I think stay home while boys find a wife and move away. Even if your girl does move away her heart will always be home. I hope u find some comfort in that. Your daughter will have the advantage of your experience so she will not necessarily suffer some of the things u did. She will be ahead of the game so as to speak. Congrats on your baby girl
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Old 07-02-2007, 03:44 AM
 
Location: NoVa
18,434 posts, read 28,516,023 times
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When you see your baby girl none of that should matter. It should all fly out the window. I had my son first, and it was what i was used to.'

Flip side, both were preemies, so I had to understand how to take care of a premature baby...

When I saw her I was afraid, I didn't hold her, she was so tiny. They took her away. I didn't see her for hours, and I couldn't hold her for days. But when I finally held that baby girl, oh the love. The love now...she is 11.

We are mothers. We love our children, no matter what, you will see.

Congrats, hugs, prayers, everything to you and baby girl!

Robyn
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Old 07-02-2007, 11:19 AM
 
Location: Oxygen Ln. AZ
9,321 posts, read 16,131,214 times
Reputation: 5685
Just wait until you hold her for the first time. I too had suffered from a low self esteem. Both my daughters did not. They both graduated from a top university and are now enjoying the fruits of their labor. You just have to make sure you do not pass on those insecurities and enjoy watching them bloom! Best of luck to you.
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Old 07-04-2007, 06:05 PM
 
Location: Earth
3,798 posts, read 6,025,890 times
Reputation: 2521
I think this would be called projecting your "stuff" onto your baby. I'm not sure.

As a mother of two little girls I understand the pressure of being the same sex parent. They mimic everything you do! I learned early on to never say "Oh I look awful", or "I feel fat" Even when I really felt that way, I never said it out loud and then amazingly enough my self esteem started getting better. (along with quite a bit of work)

We talk about how special we are and how blessed we are to be girls/women. Who know's this may be a way for you to start your healing journey.
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Old 07-04-2007, 09:12 PM
 
358 posts, read 837,254 times
Reputation: 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by CityGirl72 View Post
I'm a little in shock. I have a boy and I love him to bits and I was immediately happy when I knew he was a boy. I don't know how I feel about a girl.
Since you had a medical test, it sounds like perhaps your midwife or health care provider was concerned about the pregnancy. If your baby is fine, then that news should be the very best ever!
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Old 07-05-2007, 12:02 PM
 
Location: Down South
195 posts, read 173,932 times
Reputation: 73
I think every woman on earth should have a daughter. It changes the way you relate to all other women when you have a daughter. I love having daughters. As the saying goes "Boys are yours until they find a wife, girls are yours for life." Look at it this way: you will have a friend and lunch date for life with your daughter. Also you can help steer her away from any problems you dealt with in your life.
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Old 08-14-2007, 06:57 AM
 
Location: Miami. Florida
942 posts, read 2,328,405 times
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I always wanted a girl but had three boys and now have a step son. I remember when I had the ultrasound for my third child because I dint want anymore surprises and found out it was a boy I cried the whole way home. Since my first was born I had bought velcro bows and eachtime would take the same velcro boys back home with me from the hospital. When Daniel (the last one) was born I went home with the same velcro bows. One day, he was about 10 days old I pu the velcro boys on him for about a minute took them off and through them out. I got over it. Daniel has been the hardest one to raise of the three boys BUT I wouldnt change him for any girl out there. I love him to death. You do get use to it and get over it.
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Old 08-15-2007, 04:59 PM
 
Location: CA
2,464 posts, read 5,685,266 times
Reputation: 2587
It's natural that you feel that way. I was talking to a pregnant woman who didn't want a girl, she said, "I don't want a girl because they suffer the way we do." Harsh statement but I could understand why she said it.

My suggestion is, don't worry about things that might not happen. Your child is not you. She will make her own mistakes and hopefully learn from yours.

I have two daughters and I was very concerned about having a girl. But now that they are here... I'm so in love with them it doesn't matter to me anymore.
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Old 08-15-2007, 10:59 PM
 
Location: beautiful North Carolina
7,574 posts, read 9,553,992 times
Reputation: 5505
Wow, I completely understand. Having three boys, then told I was having a girl, I said to myself "how will I know what to do with a girl? I've only taken care of boys! What if she is like me? I promise you, when you hold her for the first time, it will be as natural as it was was with you son, and just as special. Best wishes and congrats! Jeannie
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Old 08-17-2007, 08:19 AM
 
Location: Canada
109 posts, read 393,340 times
Reputation: 65
Default Lucky you!!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by CityGirl72 View Post
I'm a little in shock. I have a boy and I love him to bits and I was immediately happy when I knew he was a boy. I don't know how I feel about a girl.

I worry she'll have low self esteem as a teen like I did, that she will have sexual problems like I did, or that she might get pregnant on accident like I did (years ago) and that she's have to endure so many crappy things that girls do when growing into women.

I was not like this with my boy.

Why am I like this? Why can't I be happy and ecited like the rest of my family is. My husband is disappointed in me that I'm not hopping up and down happy.
My first was a girl.. I wanted a girl sooo bad...

She was a sweetheart, when I got pregnant with my 2nd child, I wanted a girl again... but had a son.

I would take 12 girls like my daughter any day... my son was something else... I never wanted any more kids after him.

My daughter is smart, independant, with a strong self esteem... my son is all the opposite.
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