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Old 11-11-2011, 09:11 AM
 
1 posts, read 4,955 times
Reputation: 10
Default My son wants to wear girls clothes

My 8 y/o son has a cousin about his age that is a girl. They were at her house recently and they were playing dress up.
I didn't think twice about that until a couple weeks later we were at Wal-Mart looking at boys clothes and he asked if he could look at girls clothes.
He said he just liked the way they looked and even was drawn to the girls underwear and socks.
I try to be open minded so next time we went and after a lengthy discussion I agreed he could get some girls socks and underwear since only he would know.
But that's were I drew the line since kids can be mean and I didn't want him going to school in a girls top.
Am I doing the right thing? I am a single mother and his father will see him about once a month, so he does have a male figure in his life. And if he grows up gay I will be disappointed, but I will still accept him just like I do now with this quirk that i hope he outgrows.
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Old 11-11-2011, 09:18 AM
 
4,554 posts, read 3,743,717 times
Reputation: 5116
I wanted to go to school wearing my Superman costume when I was little.

My Mother said no.

I no longer want to go out in public wearing tights and a cape.

BE THE ADULT... SAY NO!


(If she had let me, I would have been more inclined to think it was OK. That is what you are doing.)
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Old 11-11-2011, 09:20 AM
 
Location: bold new city of the south
4,894 posts, read 1,938,211 times
Reputation: 5518
Quote:
Originally Posted by Themanwithnoname View Post
I wanted to go to school wearing my Superman costume when I was little.

My Mother said no.

I no longer want to go out in public wearing tights and a cape.

BE THE ADULT... SAY NO!


(If she had let me, I would have been more inclined to think it was OK. That is what you are doing.)

^^^^^^^Please listen.

BTW, Once in a month is not enough for the dad. Boys need a man in their life all the time.
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Old 11-11-2011, 09:22 AM
 
Location: here
16,822 posts, read 13,409,714 times
Reputation: 13466
You sound like you are dealing with it the best you can. I have an 8 year old son too. He has stopped short of asking to WEAR girls clothes, but he seems to be somehow attracted to the sparkles and things. In preschool he used to play dress up at school and put a dress on. He wanted a pair of twinkle toes skechers shoes. I said no. Like you, my biggest concern would be the ridicule he'd get from the other kids. I really have no idea if you are doing the right thing or not. Was he satisfied with where you drew the line, at socks and underwear? What if he had something he could wear at home, but not at school?
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Old 11-11-2011, 09:23 AM
 
Location: Sudcaroland
9,562 posts, read 4,011,501 times
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Only he would know? And what if he unfortunately has a little accident at school (or wherever you are not with him), and is hurt, and needs to have his clothes taken off in front of other people to be taken care of because it's an emergency?
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Old 11-11-2011, 09:24 AM
 
Location: Atlanta
3,172 posts, read 1,348,604 times
Reputation: 2091
Its my understanding that you can't TURN your child gay. They are either ARE gay or they are NOT. Something that probably wont be clear for several more years...
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Old 11-11-2011, 10:18 AM
 
1,226 posts, read 952,385 times
Reputation: 1812
Quote:
Originally Posted by themanwithnoname View Post
i wanted to go to school wearing my superman costume when i was little.

My mother said no.

I no longer want to go out in public wearing tights and a cape.

Be the adult... Say no!


(if she had let me, i would have been more inclined to think it was ok. That is what you are doing.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by buddy5 View Post
^^^^^^^please listen.
+1
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Old 11-11-2011, 01:58 PM
 
832 posts, read 1,069,631 times
Reputation: 629
Stop this quick!!
It's a bad sign that your son wants to cross dress at 8.

I wouldn't allow it. If he turns out to be gay, that's fine, but at least try to stop it just in case he isn't gay and just curious.
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Old 11-11-2011, 01:59 PM
 
8,012 posts, read 3,585,152 times
Reputation: 9539
Ok, I don't get it. I can see not letting him wear inappropriate clothes to school. But why can't he wear what he wants at home? What is this supposed relationship between clothes and being gay?
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Old 11-11-2011, 02:15 PM
 
9,975 posts, read 10,637,407 times
Reputation: 8929
Your son needs to learn what the social norms are regarding clothing for men. This does not have anything to do with his eventual sexual orientation. There are certain social norms for males regarding clothing and he needs to learn those things as he grows up.

You probably cannot do anything about his sexual orientation. It is already determined. However, he needs to learn to look the way men look and men wear men's clothing. I have many gay friends and they wear regular men's clothing in public. One of my gay friends is a doctor. He needs to look like a doctor and dresses appropriately for work. His partner works in a law office. He also dresses appropriately for work. In order to function in the world your son needs to learn to look like a man.
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