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I have to say that some kids love doing multiple activities at a time. For about two years I had two activities (and sometimes three) a day. That is when I was my happiest. Of course, that was back in the 90's when we still had hardly any homework assigned to us.
However, having THAT mom will come back to bite her kids in the rears. Why? When it comes time to make things such as All-Stars many leagues will choose not to put those kids on the team even if they are some of the best players. The coaches don't want to deal with the parent, so the kid doesn't make the team. It happens all the time.
I don't understand people who don't want to have a life outside of their kids. Volunteering at school is great, but I don't understand why a parent would want to volunteer THAT much unless they have some kind of control issue. I also don't see the point of such over scheduling. No one kid is going to excel at that many different things. Pick the 2 they enjoy the most or are best at.
And, yes, it is all about the attitude. I have a friend who does a lot of volunteering at our church. She does a lot, but she doesn't act like we need to bow down or pat her on the back. If anything, we're grateful she does it so we don't have to. And, also it does involve the children's programs at the church, but it isn't like she's hovering over her kids at school all day. I just don't understand the separation anxiety some parents seem to have.
I wasn't rude, I was responding to her implication that there was something "lacking" about my and others parenting because we didn't enroll our child in every activity and push and cajole them into being the best. She acted "surprised" that we didn't have our kids in more activities, you know that smug smirk and knowing sideways nod to the cadre. So, I simply defended my choice against her unsolicited accusation by saying that I don't feel that kids should be kept eternally busy as they need time to be kids. She then responded by "lecturing" me on why being "busy" was important. I felt she needed a lesson that revolved around the fact that not every parent in town is going to bow down to her like a lapdog and some of us don't give a flying crap who she is and find no need to receive her "approval" over our choices. If I wanted to be rude I could think of a million better ways to be rude.
That isn't exactly how I interpreted the dialogue. I played sports and so did my brothers and so do two of my kids. Many, many kids who are good at sports play more than one because different sports have different seasons. Therefore, I would actually take her surprised comment to the other mom as a compliment--i.e. your son is so talented, I just assumed he would be using that talent in other sports/seasons. It seems to me like an affirmation that she noticed another kid's capabilities. I personally would not take offense to that at all if a mom said that to me.
In fact my oldest daughter takes one dance class once a week. At the studio are many kids who take dance classes every day. I have had several of their parents express surprise that my daughter only takes one class. It seems like a natural reaction to me, so it has never phased me in the slightest.
So much does depend on the tone though. There is always the tone issue that is hard to capture online. Fortunately in my kids' activities I cannot think of any really difficult parents, so I guess I just can't relate to THAT mom. I also am on my school's PTA as VP. Our president is a wonderful mom, who is cancer survivor and the mother of four children. She does so much for the school, and I dislike when she is not appreciated for her efforts. She is the type of PTA president I am accustomed to seeing, and I think they are a great benefit to the school.
Many, many kids who are good at sports play more than one because different sports have different seasons. Therefore, I would actually take her surprised comment to the other mom as a compliment--i.e. your son is so talented, I just assumed he would be using that talent in other sports/seasons.
This happened to my son recently (not sports related). He was playing his piano solo for the judge at the music evaluations. When he was done she said "I hope you play another instrument." I could see my son's face fall. He thought she meant that he was so terrible at piano that he should try another instrument. She noticed his disappointment and quickly realized what he thought so she added "It would be a shame for such a talented person to limit themself to one instrument." His face perked back up and she went on to give him her comments.
It can be easy to misunderstand those sort of comments. However, I can understand "that parent" because I have also had to deal with them. I am sure the OP knows the type of person involved.
That isn't exactly how I interpreted the dialogue. I played sports and so did my brothers and so do two of my kids. Many, many kids who are good at sports play more than one because different sports have different seasons. Therefore, I would actually take her surprised comment to the other mom as a compliment--i.e. your son is so talented, I just assumed he would be using that talent in other sports/seasons. It seems to me like an affirmation that she noticed another kid's capabilities. I personally would not take offense to that at all if a mom said that to me. . . .
So much does depend on the tone though. There is always the tone issue that is hard to capture online.
Good points! I agree. I have encountered my share of smarmy moms, though. And one crazy soccer dad.
As a coach, I am not the least bit afraid to ask these parents to
1. cheer from the sidelines and leave the coaching to me as too many coaches is confusing.
2. if that does not work, ask them to remain silent.
3. if that does not work, tell them that they are not welcome, please leave.
It is not fair to ANY of the players for that to be going on.
I think that is wonderful and I wish more coaches enforced those rules.
Behavior like Super Mom's comes from a reflected sense of self.
And the misguided idea that you can control all your offspring.
In my area, the more kids a mom has, the more she tries to do. It's like she has to be room mom and more for all of her kids so they will all feel equally loved.
I agree sometimes a lot of activities isn't all that bad.
Like someone else said, i was also happiest when i was busy. I went to school then practice which got out at like 511 and then i sometimes went to work afterwards. I played year round sports. I was busy all the time but my mom was the parent who just dropped me off and then made me find a ride home.
So its all how the parent handles it, not necessarily how many activities the kid is in.
I miss being that busy, school the sports, then whatever else.
I hope my kids want to be active and ill be active in what they do, cheer them on and make fun of the crazy moms.
I don't understand people who don't want to have a life outside of their kids. Volunteering at school is great, but I don't understand why a parent would want to volunteer THAT much unless they have some kind of control issue. I also don't see the point of such over scheduling. No one kid is going to excel at that many different things. Pick the 2 they enjoy the most or are best at.
And, yes, it is all about the attitude. I have a friend who does a lot of volunteering at our church. She does a lot, but she doesn't act like we need to bow down or pat her on the back. If anything, we're grateful she does it so we don't have to. And, also it does involve the children's programs at the church, but it isn't like she's hovering over her kids at school all day. I just don't understand the separation anxiety some parents seem to have.
I have a relative who completely admits that the reason she for a job at her children's school is so that she can "keep an eye" on them and she is also a Religious Ed teacher formthe same reason, she teaches her sons class.
She is also one of those parents that would say she did not need for her kids to be involved in different activities, but over the years the tides have changed and they are doing horseback riding, guitar and violin lessons, tennis ....
A bit of a hypocrite....
I have a relative who completely admits that the reason she for a job at her children's school is so that she can "keep an eye" on them and she is also a Religious Ed teacher formthe same reason, she teaches her sons class.
She is also one of those parents that would say she did not need for her kids to be involved in different activities, but over the years the tides have changed and they are doing horseback riding, guitar and violin lessons, tennis ....
A bit of a hypocrite....
Those children end up hellians or micro managing obsessive compusive annoyances that the next generation is forced to suffer through.
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