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Unread 08-31-2012, 08:46 AM
Status: "Happy Spring!" (set 22 days ago)
 
14,155 posts, read 7,308,523 times
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Excellent post somebodynew! How true that we cannot control anyone but ourselves! I am going to read up on William Glass and Vicki Hoefle.
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Unread 08-31-2012, 08:49 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
Excellent post somebodynew! How true that we cannot control anyone but ourselves! I am going to read up on William Glass and Vicki Hoefle.

I wonder if she will pay me kick backs.
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Unread 08-31-2012, 08:51 AM
 
8,013 posts, read 3,037,068 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
Excellent post somebodynew! How true that we cannot control anyone but ourselves! I am going to read up on William Glass and Vicki Hoefle.

Oh hey. Make no mistake, the program is HARD. The kids resist our attempts to change. And they fight to have the learning that that have done be confirmed. But in the end, peace reigns. Our morning routine is an indicator. I get up. I get the kids up. (They want to pick out their own alarm clocks.) I sip coffee, take a shower, get dressed. DH and I say, we're leaving. You guys riding? They get in the car. Lovin' it.
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Unread 08-31-2012, 09:57 AM
 
1,384 posts, read 712,060 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Oh hey. Make no mistake, the program is HARD. The kids resist our attempts to change. And they fight to have the learning that that have done be confirmed. But in the end, peace reigns. Our morning routine is an indicator. I get up. I get the kids up. (They want to pick out their own alarm clocks.) I sip coffee, take a shower, get dressed. DH and I say, we're leaving. You guys riding? They get in the car. Lovin' it.
Interested to know how you got to that point. What if the kid says NO, I'm not riding. I don't feel like going to school today. You can't leave a small child home alone just because he wants to, and allow him to suffer the "natural" consequence of missing school. One of the adults would also be forced to stay home to allow that to happen. So what would you do?

Serious question, really not trying to be an ass so I hope it doesn't sound that way.
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Unread 08-31-2012, 10:47 AM
 
8,013 posts, read 3,037,068 times
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Originally Posted by AnnaNomus View Post
Interested to know how you got to that point. What if the kid says NO, I'm not riding.
The how you get to that point is a 6 week training program plus a few weeks where we repeatedly screwed up. It would be impossible to write it in a post. If you are not into a $150 training program, there is a book called Duct Tape Parenting. The title is catchy, but it makes one think that the entire program is about not saying anything. The title does not really indicate what TO do.

Quote:
I don't feel like going to school today. You can't leave a small child home alone just because he wants to, and allow him to suffer the "natural" consequence of missing school.
During re-training, which I thankfully did when the kids were still small enough, I would have picked them up in whatever their current state was, pjs, unfed, whatever, and stuffed them in the car. I can choose MY reactions to them. But then the trainign class comes with sign on to a forum that Vicki checks every day. You can ask questions like that yourself.

Quote:
One of the adults would also be forced to stay home to allow that to happen. So what would you do?

Serious question, really not trying to be an ass so I hope it doesn't sound that way.

I know. It's all good.
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Unread 08-31-2012, 10:50 AM
 
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P.S. I am glad that the book was not available when I bought the training program. I don't think I would have learned as well reading an entire book and trying to absorb it. But the early stages of the program are, well, chaotic. Intentionally chaotic, or necessarily chaotic. But chaotic.
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Unread 08-31-2012, 10:58 AM
 
442 posts, read 188,402 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
During re-training, which I thankfully did when the kids were still small enough, I would have picked them up in whatever their current state was, pjs, unfed, whatever, and stuffed them in the car. I can choose MY reactions to them. But then the trainign class comes with sign on to a forum that Vicki checks every day. You can ask questions like that yourself.




I know. It's all good.
I'm fortunate in that I've never really had the getting out the door battles in the morning...so perhaps I don't have much perspective.

I can't see hauling a kid out in PJs without breakfast though.
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Unread 08-31-2012, 11:04 AM
 
8,013 posts, read 3,037,068 times
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Originally Posted by aspentree View Post
I'm fortunate in that I've never really had the getting out the door battles in the morning...so perhaps I don't have much perspective.

I can't see hauling a kid out in PJs without breakfast though.

It is a step in a journey. I sure would not want to stay there! Who is responsible for the kids' breakfast?
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Unread 08-31-2012, 12:48 PM
 
9,495 posts, read 9,480,161 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aspentree View Post
I'm fortunate in that I've never really had the getting out the door battles in the morning...so perhaps I don't have much perspective.

I can't see hauling a kid out in PJs without breakfast though.
All you have to do is grab something they can eat on the run (granola bar or similar) and grab their clothes. You only have to do it once. Once the kids know that you will let them go to school in PJs they do what they are supposed to do. Kids also do what we expect them to do. So if we act like they are little delinquents they they will be. If we treat them as if we expect them to succeed then they will (as long as our expectations are reasonable).
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Unread 08-31-2012, 02:48 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, Pa
1,354 posts, read 561,575 times
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I think in some cases the issue is that children have to take control because the parents aren't doing their jobs. They have to step up and do responsiblities that parents should be doing. In some cases.
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