My daughter (single mom, activities, learning, school)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have a daughter who has been dating this young man for over two years. We just recently found out he is nothing that he told us he was. We thought he was a pretty good kid, although his family is really screwed up. Mother is single and a bit nuts and his siblings are pretty much losers.
They lied to her and us the entire time they were dating. I just want the little liar to be honest with her. She is devested by their breakup. She blames herself. I can't get her to let him go. I deleted his number from her phone and am forbidding her to see him. He doesnt go to her school so that helps, but he does live close by.
NO ONE OWES ANYONE THE TRUTH. Thats a very harsh thing to hear but something she will need to embrace.
This doesnt have to be made into a bad experience though..a wake up call really. Regardless why he lied, she's realizing the world isnt a FAIR place. So when you feed this bashing, youre really painting the wrong picture for her. keep things in perspective. she'll be fine
Sounds like someone needs to butt out and let their daughter run their own life.
I can't get her to let him go.
I deleted his number from her phone and I am forbidding her to see him. He doesnt go to her school so that helps, but he does live close by.
How can I help her get over this?
All about you, isn't it ?.........................
Daughter dating a "young man" for 2 years and you deleting phone numbers from your daughters phone? It sounds like your daughter is a minor. If so and if this story is true (I have my doubts) then why are you letting her date him in the first place? A "young man" is over 18.
I can only guess, but I'm sure it's hard seeing your daughter hurt. To this day, I'm still convinced my mother would lose it if she saw my ex.
I'm assuming she's a minor since you are going through her phone and forbidding her to see him. Did she want the break up, or did you force it? If she has been dating him for two years I gather your daughter is close to 18 if she's still underage. At that age she's pretty much responsible for her life decisions and it's your job to guide her and give her advice, not control her.
My advice? Listen and be patient with her. Don't pass judgement or bad mouth him, or she won't confide in you. Make her feel loved and comfortable in your presence, or she will seek comfort and peace somewhere else than home. Carry on your normal relationship/activities and give her stability.
If shewants to go, offer to take her to see a counselor if she becomes depressed.
If she's an adult (I really hope she's not, or your actions were completely uncalled for), realize it's her life and it's her business. If this is her first serious relationship/break up, she's still learning and is experiencing new feelings. Let her get over it in her own way.
If I were your daughter, I would pretty much be hating you right now for controlling my life and would push you away. I'd guess you broke her trust by messing with her phone. You can't be there to help her if she doesn't trust you or want to be around you. If she's old enough to make the decision to date, she's old enough to be treated with respect and you need to recognize that her feelings and privacy are important. She'll probably just add his number back in or talk to him online. Your deleting his number was a dumb move and you shot yourself in the foot with that one.
Judge the ex's family all you want, but like John13 alluded, a person isn't screwed up just because she's a single mom. Tons of great single moms for all sorts of reasons out there. No one is perfect, including you. You sound like you have a lot of hate in your life right now. Set an example and get over it yourself.
Last edited by boolouwho; 10-28-2012 at 05:39 AM..
I have a daughter who has been dating this young man for over two years. We just recently found out he is nothing that he told us he was. We thought he was a pretty good kid, although his family is really screwed up. Mother is single and a bit nuts and his siblings are pretty much losers.
They lied to her and us the entire time they were dating. I just want the little liar to be honest with her. She is devested by their breakup. She blames herself. I can't get her to let him go. I deleted his number from her phone and am forbidding her to see him. He doesnt go to her school so that helps, but he does live close by.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
