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I would also like to state that there is no guarantee that your children will turn out the way you want them to. perfectly raised kids may turn out to be the people you see on the evening news. And many times, kids coming from bad homes where a parent is absent most of the time grow up into their own success through hard work and then come back to the tough neighborhoods to aid the new generation, how sweet.
I think it's sad when parents try to shelter their children --- keep them bound by strict curfews, monitor their internet activity, send them to private Christian schools, other stuff like that. What do they expect will happen when their kids are finally on their own to explore the world? All those repressed desires are going to come out. What happens is the young adults start partying to make up for all the socialization and sexual freedom they never had when they were younger. They say that the hardest drinking, most promiscuous sorority girls tend to be daughters of pastors.
Thoughts?
Corollary thoughts:
I think it is sad when children are not shown and do not realize the results of negative social behaviors. I think it is sad when children lose the age appropriateness of being exposed to things in the harsh world. That is, an age at which they can comprehend what they may see and its full impact emotionally and psychologically and the realistic long term outcomes.
I think parents would do well to educate their children on the consequences of negative behaviors and actions and expose them to the results. I think parents should encourage children to work / volunteer in a field that helps those that have made some of the bad choices they'd like to 'shelter said children from', so they see the consequences of those various irresponsible actions.
I think parents should worry more about setting a good example and providing a set of boundaries rather than worrying about being 'cool' to their kids, or being a peer to their kids, or simply neglecting them and letting the corporate mass media acculturate them to be mind numbed consumers.
Here's an excerpt from a book, "Pillar of Iron" that might address part of the issue you refer to.
“It is wrong to bring children up in an atmosphere solely of family and fraternal affection, without enlightening them that beyond the safe walls of home there lives a world of Godless, dishonorable, and amoral men, and that these men are in the majority.”
Last edited by Jaded; 12-16-2013 at 03:10 AM..
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I would also like to state that there is no guarantee that your children will turn out the way you want them to. perfectly raised kids may turn out to be the people you see on the evening news. And many times, kids coming from bad homes where a parent is absent most of the time grow up into their own success through hard work and then come back to the tough neighborhoods to aid the new generation, how sweet.
I know people say that all the time but I've never actually seen it happen. First, no child is raised "perfectly" but I get what you are saying. People THINK that someone may have come from a "perfect" family but often you don't know what is going on behind closed doors and almost always there is some kind of a problem. Yes, there is going to be a variation in how kids "turn out" but do you really know anyone that has a son for an ax murderer but their other 3 children are Harvard grads??? Really?
One doesn't need "factual" data to support what you see in real life. Kids that are controlled and never allowed to make their own decisions will rebel at some point or live life in Mom and Dad's basement because they can't deal with the real world. Open your eyes and see what is going on around you.
What is even sadder is parents who raise their kids to be independent adults, but the kid ends up living at home at age 24, too scared of life to have friends and too scared of women to date. I would feel like a failure as a parent if my kid ended up a 40 year old virgin.
The OP (who's in his mid 20s) has a history of starting threads like this, where he makes outrageous statements and ends the post with "thoughts" or "discuss", under multiple profiles. You might have seen one of his other gems, wherein he suggested all male children should be sterilized at birth.
I think it's sad when parents try to shelter their children --- keep them bound by strict curfews, monitor their internet activity, send them to private Christian schools, other stuff like that. What do they expect will happen when their kids are finally on their own to explore the world? All those repressed desires are going to come out. What happens is the young adults start partying to make up for all the socialization and sexual freedom they never had when they were younger. They say that the hardest drinking, most promiscuous sorority girls tend to be daughters of pastors.
Thoughts?
I agree with the bolded. I am a pastor's daughter and thats how I turned out.
Every one of us could give examples of kids raised in a strict environment who went wild in college or whenever, and of kids who were raised so leniently they ended up dead or in rehab by 18 and everything in between.
As I've said before, if I had a dollar for every time I was told (mostly on this and the ed forum) that my kids were going come to no good end because I didn't agree with a specific poster on a specific parenting issue, I could probably take the whole board out to lunch! Most of the time these comments come when I have expressed a more "sheltering" approach than some other parent, particularly in the realm of family finances and teen drinking. Often these other posters have not raised kids to adulthood, which I have. Mine are both managing their finances well, and neither is an alcoholic or a crusading teetotaler.
The issue of what is "controlling" is very subjective.
Last edited by Katarina Witt; 12-14-2013 at 09:06 AM..
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