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I'd like to reply to all those posters who pat themselves on the back and think their kids turned out great because they did
a great job and the rest of us with disrespectful kids did a poor job. My husband and I have three boys together. One boy, 17, is very kind and respectful, but the other two have ADHD with bad tempers and poor conflict skills. We have worked hard to learn and consistently practice good parenting skills to deal with our two difficult boys and for you all to say that poor behavior only results from bad parenting shows ignorance. Poor behavior could result from bad genetics, a control disorder, and yes, good parenting can mitigate the outcome. Though, I can imagine, if we only had our one son to go by we might say the same thing. While it's likely you don't have the experience to know otherwise, please don't judge and show more empathy to folks with difficult children.
"I don't know if you can get him out or not....but i have no sympathy for people with such problems because i believe kids turn out how you raise them, and it sounds like in your case, that's a big FAIL!"
Think this response came from someone without kids, and treated their parents badly. Please explain to mensure why my daughter is a good responsible kid, respectful and helpful, while my son is the exact opposite. They come from a good home, we own a business and work hard. Have taught both our kids right from wrong, manners, respect, responsibility. One has learned from it all, the other one wants to fight and create chaos. Maybe don't respond to people's situations you have never experienced, or good for you for being the most stand up A+ parent in the world, give yourself a good pat on the back.
Change the locks. If he damages property or acts threatening then call the police. Get him out. He's got to feel some stress before he'll change. Get your house back. He is not entitled to your roof.
Is it legal to kick my 20 yr old son out of my house because he comes home high every
night...I find weed in my house, alcohol, his has anger issues punches holes in walls, calls me every name in the book in front of my 7 and 8 yr old children and he does not pay for nothing...he does work full time but doesn't contribute at all...just disrespects me and destroys my house...he does have a dad to go live with but he refuses to leave my house....how can I get him out!!!?
Ask him nicely to move along with a letter; keep a copy because he may tear it up. If drugs are found in your house the police can take the home away.
Call police next time he does anything violent, then get a PFA order that stipulates he must move out with a police supervised removal of all his stuff. If they find drugs at that time you are in the clear and he is in jail. Do not bail him out.
"Watch Dr. Phil for two weeks"
Pot is legal for general use in AK/WA/OR/CA/NV/CO/MA/ME. MA would be the closest to OP & son. Many more states have legalized it for a few or many medical conditions. CBD Oil from hemp plants provides some of the benefits and is legal in all states except SD, but it is not psychoactive. He'll be legal drinking age in several months or so. Probably he should get out by age 21 or sooner if he can't reduce drinking. Alcohol can totally shut down parts of the brain so a person doesn't even know what they are doing, let alone why.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
He's 20 so he's not of legal drinking age. That's the problem. Pot is illegal in 48 states. That's the problem. Whether or not you think it is ok is irrelevant. This mom doesn't want her underage son drinking or doing illegal drugs in her house. There is nothing wrong with that. She could get in trouble for having it in the house she owns. She's not being unreasonable.
I think males are more likely to have psychological difficulties, if the prison populations are any indication.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spacebogey
"I don't know if you can get him out or not....but i have no sympathy for people with such problems because i believe kids turn out how you raise them, and it sounds like in your case, that's a big FAIL!"
Think this response came from someone without kids, and treated their parents badly. Please explain to mensure why my daughter is a good responsible kid, respectful and helpful, while my son is the exact opposite. They come from a good home, we own a business and work hard. Have taught both our kids right from wrong, manners, respect, responsibility. One has learned from it all, the other one wants to fight and create chaos. Maybe don't respond to people's situations you have never experienced, or good for you for being the most stand up A+ parent in the world, give yourself a good pat on the back.
At least some people when they are so drunk they are nearly passed out, may have no idea what they are doing, let alone why, as entire sections of their brains are totally shut down. This is where violence comes from, certainly not from pot which makes people peaceful if anything does.
Those who say the mother should call police to report son for cannabis possession are so wrong. He could get $1,000 fine and up to six months in prison, causing him to lose his fulltime job, have a criminal record that keeps him from getting another job. What if he wanted revenge? Mother best flee state if she reports cannabis use to cops.
Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen
I can understand the drugs thing, except for pot because it's gonna be legal very soon I can feel it.
What's wrong with alcohol in the house?
My mom kept alcohol in the house. I kept mine there too. I always got a ride if I was plastered and I never got violent drunk. My brother is allowed to drink at home too, he's 19. If he drinks he's not allowed to leave.
And as someone who is 420 friendly, I see nothing wrong with that either as long as it's done outside if the home owner doesn't want it smoked in the house.
Now if I had a 20 year old making meth or doing coke off my coffee table I'd have a huge issue with that.
Police don't steal houses from a parent unless son is growing or selling.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
He's 20 so he's not of legal drinking age. That's the problem. Pot is illegal in 48 states. That's the problem. Whether or not you think it is ok is irrelevant. This mom doesn't want her underage son drinking or doing illegal drugs in her house. There is nothing wrong with that. She could get in trouble for having it in the house she owns. She's not being unreasonable.
Why have a 2 hour deadline? Do you suggest he puts all his pot and paraphernalia on the front lawn so he goes to jail for 6 months, loses his job, can't get another job, so commits suicide or comes back to kill his mom? You sure know how to escalate the situation. Maybe he needs a longer deadline for things to go best for all? I wonder if he has a friend he could live with?
Quote:
Originally Posted by NY Annie
OP, ignore the rantings of a child, your son is disrespectful aside from all the other issues. Tell him he has 2 hours to get all of his illegal, drug-related paraphernalia and drugs out of the house or you will ask for the police to help you locate them. Tell him he can leave with his drugs, but his time is up for abusing you.
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