Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The Crockpot will be your savior! There is a million things you can cook in it, just experiment. I would also recommend preparing meals ahead of time and freezing them. When your husband is home on the weekend have him spend some quality time with the baby and prepare food for the week! Its really overwhelming at first but you'll get the hang of it!
First I would check out the cost of your lifestyle.
After you look at the cost of working look at other things that you spend your money on. Cable? Internet? Any other exspenses that your family could do without? Lets say that you are a stay at home mom. You could manage the home finances, clip coupons, cook meals from real food and not processed boxed meals. You could save your family plenty of money by doing things yourself at home. I bet if you looked hard enough you could change your lifestyle and be there with your daughter at home.
Not really.
Sorry for the late response. I am usually good in not spending things where not needed; which means, while a do drive, its not an Audi. Same thing with phones, while I do have a phone, it’s not an expensive one’s. I cannot quit job but looking for something close by home even if it means a pay cut (which is ok as I wouldn’t be paying as much tax). Quitting my job is not suitable for our financial commitments.
Coupons? Never thought about that! That’s a great idea. I will look into local news papers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pretendingtowork
Around 3 we started spending a little less time with our boys. That being said we still have plenty of quality time. I am like you, my wife commutes far and I am home with the boys. I get my oldest doing home work and my youngest hangs out with me in the kitchen while I prep dinner and clean. He is my little helper. By the time the wife gets home around 6:30 we eat. After we eat if the oldest is done with home work and chores, we spend a bit of time out side...makes them fall asleep easier. Then come in and do some house cleaning before they go to bead at 8:30 and me around 9:00.
No...house isn't always spot less. We mop once a week, sweep a little more often. We also understand we can let the house go a little to have a bit more time for each other.
Pretending to work, thanks so much, I have started getting her to help me with the dish washer. She very lovingly says, “here momma” after she picks a ladle from the washer and hands it over; by the time I keep it where it belongs, she is ready with a plate. It was so much fun! After all the clean dishes were emptied out, she wanted to sit in it J
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
I doubt most people would get rid of their second car. I'm sure the op has considered all of the things you mentioned. She should also consider future income and upward mobility in her job and how much she would really be sacrificing in the future if she quit. but that isn't what she asked.
Exactly. She is going to grow up soon and she is not going to need me as much in future. A lot of people keep cautioning me not to take pay cuts and all because it’s a phase which will pass.
Have you looked into a grocery delivery service? The one I use occasionally often has free delivery coupons. Prices are generally similar to my local stores, and they accept coupons. 15 minutes on a phone or computer ordering groceries is a lot easier than driving to a store and shopping.
You also asked about what age kids should be able/allowed to do things on their own. My answer is NOW!. While I didn't constantly leave them alone, at age 2 my kids often went into another room to play on their own while I fixed meals or did other chores. At that age one of my daughter's favorite toys was a little desk. I kept blank paper, chunky crayons, and puzzles in the desk for her to color or play whenever she wanted or when I needed some time to do something else. It might not have been pretty or the best decorative accessory, but I kept it in the dining room. I could hear her even if I could not see her.
.
Rrah, grocery delivery service? I have never tried it or the thought didn’t even strike me. I will look into it and see if I can find something interesting around the house.
I involved her in emptying the dish washer over the weekend and we both absolutely love the help she gives. It was really cute. I also look your idea and got her to play in the kitchen area while I cook. However, she didn’t seem to like it. She was fussing a lot. Maybe I should make it more interesting by handing over stainless steel utensils for pretend cooking. Yes, I do talk to her about what I am cooking.
Yes, I have decided to use crock pot more often now. Made cabbage lentil soup yesterday and I am set for lunch for 3 days.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SOON2BNSURPRISE
Having kids is a sacrifice, one that we as parents make to help a child grow to their potential. We sacrifice our wants and needs so that we can offer a better life for our children. The things that more money offer can not replace the moments lost with parents being away from the home. I doubt that a single toddler will remember what kind of car that mom drove around in when they were young, but that child will never forget that mom was at home with her when she was young.
I agree, they do grow up fast. Really, quitting my job is not an option for our family. We don’t want to get into debt, which we will if I quit. Pay cut, yes, I can manage that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cedar_ATL
It will get easier as she gets older. Both my husband and I work full time, and have a 3.5 year old. I've noticed that it gets easier about each 6 month increment as the child matures. All our family is out of state, so we have no help at all. I applaud you for wanting to sit with your daughter while she eats; I know if I try to do something around the house when my son is eating, he gets mad and begs me to sit at the table with him. They will only be little once, so try to spend as much time with them as possible.
Mine is also like yours. She begs me to sit with her during dinner time. This evening I am going to try moving her toddler table into the kitchen and see if she is OK eating there while I prep the dinner.
Thanks for the tips about the floor. I will look into rommba, though I suspect its going to considerably increase my electricity bill if its taking 45 mins per room. Will research more on this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute
Simplify meals however you can. Take out, or meaks you can microwave. Don't overdo the housework, it will wait for you, don't be a neatness freak.
Cleaning and sweeping will wait till tomorrow,
Babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow,
So settle down cobwebs, Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep.
That’s a very beautiful poem, thanks for sharing it. I am going to print it out and stick it on the washroom mirror.
It will get better with time. In fact, you'll be surprised at how quickly these very busy days will fly by.
When you cook, give her a pan and a wooden spoon and let her sit on the floor and "cook" with you. Also, the idea of her eating dinner in the kitchen while you do other things is great.
Don't worry too much about your house being messy, or anything else not being perfect. You'll never look back and say, "I wish I'd kept my house cleaner" but you will look back and say "I wish I could have had more days with my sweet little toddler."
A loving parent/child relationship does not suddenly disappear. Your daughter will "want you" for many years in the future. How they "want you" may change but it won't go away in a loving family.
My daughter is 26 years old and we talk on the phone at least once if not several times a day.
Good Luck and Have Fun!
Thanks, that’s an excellent advice, which I needed to hear. She will still want me in her own way, even when she is 40 years old (assuming I live until then). Even now I need my mom in various ways even though she is thousands of miles away. We never grow out of wanting mom. Thanks, I really needed this assurance.
Again another excellent advise on independent playing. As of now, she does play independently for maybe 5 mins with her toys. Then I give her books which will keep her occupied for another 5 mins. The only thing she does for longer, like 15 minutes is watching cartoons. But I totally get your point, I slowly have to backout and get her to do things more independently so that she is not completely relying on teachers when she joins school.
You can't do it all, and do it all well. So, quit cooking and quit cleaning. And no, I've never been wealthy.
And time with your kid is WAY more important that housework. Can you imagine someone on their death bed..."I wish I'd spent more time cleaning and less time with my kid..."
You can schedule time to clean on weekends, but that cuts into family time. Hire someone to come once a week. It will be worth it. You'll find a way to budget it in. Even only every 2 weeks, and just live with the dirt in-between.
Thanks a lot for the suggestions. I am actually trying to cut down on bills; so hiring someone to clean and laundry services are not ideal for me. But I love your idea of crockpot meals which are prepackaged in Walmart. I will check out next time I go. Even if I buy chicken, potatoes and carrots separately, I think it would come to the same. So, might as well reduce my prep-time and buy these.
All, I am in dire need of some advise here. I am a full time working mom of a toddler. my husband has really long working hours and with the commute added, its hard for him to really contribute to help in cooking/cleaning etc.
I usually pick up my DD at 5:30 from her daycare and in 5 mins we are home. I sit with her while she has her dinner, we play, go to the park, bedtime routine and she goes to bed by 8 PM. I give my enire attention to her until she goes to bed.
At 8 is when I try to cook/clean and get everything ready for the next day.
Its usually 10:30 before I am able to go to bed and by 5 AM I have to be up. Its leaving me drained and worn out. Even after all this, my home seems like its in a big mess most of the time. Weekends are gone in laundry/grocery/cleaning bathrooms/carpets etc.
How do you all manage your day? I am obviously not doing something right.
How do you manage to keep your home clean and tidy with a toddler? How to cook smartly? I feel over whelmed and lost.
I think a lot of us simply don't clean or cook. Ultimately, a clean house is nice, but not that important. Provided it's not looking like an episode of Hoarders, I just deal with not such a clean home most of the time. I also don't cook much. It takes forever to cook healthy food from scratch. I've been doing it more lately because I wanted to lose weight - but I usually cook all the food for the week in one day and just refrigerate or freeze it for the other days. I also do a lot of microwave "cooking." Not the healthiest, but I don't have the energy to do it all. It's just not possible. I don't even work full-time and I would find cooking and cleaning every day too much. My friends who do work full time either don't clean or make enough to have a cleaning lady. If you make enough money, getting a cleaning lady once a week, or even once a month can at least take care of the bathrooms and floors and dusting and so on.
Thanks a lot for the suggestions. I am actually trying to cut down on bills; so hiring someone to clean and laundry services are not ideal for me. But I love your idea of crockpot meals which are prepackaged in Walmart. I will check out next time I go. Even if I buy chicken, potatoes and carrots separately, I think it would come to the same. So, might as well reduce my prep-time and buy these.
Those are probably ok sometimes, but I bet they are full of sodium. I like to crock pot a pork loin then shred it. You can use it for BBQ pork sandwiches, or wrap it in tortillas, or make enchilada casserole out of it. You can eat it all week and not get bored, or freeze half for later. I use frozen vegetables a lot. I try to do a big grocery shopping trip every other week, then just a quick one the other week.
It takes only 20 minutes prep time for a typical crock-pot meal, not including the actual grocery shopping.
Get a collander. Peel the carrots and turnip (if you use one). Use red potatoes - they don't have to be scrubbed. Chop everything up, toss everything in the collander, spray it with cold water from the tap, shake it, spray some more.
Shake some salt and pepper on the meat, rub it into the surface. Sear the meat on a pan on the stovetop with a splash of oil in the pan. Turn it over, sear that side too.
Toss the veggies in the crockpot.
Dump the meat in the crockpot.
Pour a small box of low-sodium natural vegetable broth over the meat (it's usually on sale for just a buck).
Mince a few garlic cloves and toss that in the pot.
Add a generous splash of dry red wine.
Cover the pot, set to low, go about your business.
You can do some of this stuff while you're brushing your teeth, and put your makeup on while you wait for the meat to sear.
Thanks Anonchick, I am wiling to try everything which makes my life easier while not compromising on the quality of time spent with the child. Looks like crockpot is a messiah! I am still new to it and just started experimenting with it 2 months ago. will look for more recipes.
Thanks Kibbiekat, for the warning about preservatives and high sodium content.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
