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Old 01-27-2008, 10:32 PM
 
Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
16,249 posts, read 11,817,416 times
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Surprisingly the cops say that there is nothing they can do or want to do! Here is what happened- the 16 year old girl ran away from home and went to a friend's house almost 2 months ago. Amazingly the friend's parents told the girl that she could stay there as long as she wanted provided she goes to school and stays out of trouble WITHOUT asking the girl's mother if she could stay there!! And if that is not amazing enough the girl's mother called the COPS and they told her NO laws were being broken! They said that it is a civil matter and that the mother would have to go to Juvenile Court and file a petition to have the girl declared "wayward" before she could be removed from the friend's house against her will! The mother declined to do so and the girl is still at the friend's house. Kids have alot more rights now I guess. When I was 16, the cops would have grabbed that girl by the scruff and kicked her ass all the way back home!
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Old 01-27-2008, 11:01 PM
 
1,671 posts, read 4,180,488 times
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I don't know the whole story, but the parents who took the girl in believe her story. At least they are making sure she goes to school. The mother of the girl could have her emancipated and relinquish their rights. They could serve a pin warrant before proceeding to drastic measures. Sometimes, we want to believe our friends and put blame on teens. Many parents have no parenting skills and it leads to this behavior. Don't be blinded by what the adults say without speaking to the teen.
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Old 01-27-2008, 11:40 PM
 
Location: The mountians of Northern California.
1,357 posts, read 4,147,977 times
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That is a sad situation. Why did the mom decline to go to court?
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Old 01-28-2008, 02:59 AM
 
Location: Seattle, WA
1,368 posts, read 4,513,650 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KevK View Post
Surprisingly the cops say that there is nothing they can do or want to do! Here is what happened- the 16 year old girl ran away from home and went to a friend's house almost 2 months ago. Amazingly the friend's parents told the girl that she could stay there as long as she wanted provided she goes to school and stays out of trouble WITHOUT asking the girl's mother if she could stay there!! And if that is not amazing enough the girl's mother called the COPS and they told her NO laws were being broken! They said that it is a civil matter and that the mother would have to go to Juvenile Court and file a petition to have the girl declared "wayward" before she could be removed from the friend's house against her will! The mother declined to do so and the girl is still at the friend's house. Kids have alot more rights now I guess. When I was 16, the cops would have grabbed that girl by the scruff and kicked her ass all the way back home!
The issue I believe is that with the girl's location being known, and safe, its not a 'runaway' issue. I could be totally wrong, and I'm sure theres more to this than we see... but, thats my inclination. That she's not deemed to be 'in harm' or 'missing' and thus the police are fairly powerless. To fix it, the mother has to declare that her daughter is wayward... etc. Kinda makes sense if you remember that the girl is in a safe location.


Maybe the friend's house is actually related? This story cannot be all that there is to it.

And generally when people run away, THEY believe they have a good reason to do so. Whether or not we agree is an entirely different story.


And, emancipation can work both ways, the girl could emancipate herself.


Edit: Having this be 'OK' is not the same as it being legal. I by no means believe running from home is 'okay'. But this may be a case where its legal...
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Old 01-28-2008, 05:55 AM
 
Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
16,249 posts, read 11,817,416 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Radek View Post
The issue I believe is that with the girl's location being known, and safe, its not a 'runaway' issue. I could be totally wrong, and I'm sure theres more to this than we see... but, thats my inclination. That she's not deemed to be 'in harm' or 'missing' and thus the police are fairly powerless. To fix it, the mother has to declare that her daughter is wayward... etc. Kinda makes sense if you remember that the girl is in a safe location.


Maybe the friend's house is actually related? This story cannot be all that there is to it.

And generally when people run away, THEY believe they have a good reason to do so. Whether or not we agree is an entirely different story.


And, emancipation can work both ways, the girl could emancipate herself.


Edit: Having this be 'OK' is not the same as it being legal. I by no means believe running from home is 'okay'. But this may be a case where its legal...
I know the girl somewhat. She is a friend of my daughter and she is a nice girl and everything I know about her is OK from the times she has been to our house. I have met her mother once and the mother seemed OK too. My daughter said they have been fighting for a long time over stuff that typically teenagers and parents fight over. The girl ran away one other time to her father's house a few years ago but came back on her own after a weekend. I do not know the friend she is staying with at all but accoridng to my daughter, the friend's mother said that she felt like the girl was going to end up on the street where bad things happen to girls if she did not let her stay. So I guess she is between a rock and a hard place. I am just glad the girl chose her and not my house because to be honest with you, I am not sure how I would have dealt with it either. But I think I would have tried to reason with the girls mother and got her permission first. I can see why she might be a bit not happy about it.
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Old 01-28-2008, 05:57 AM
 
Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
16,249 posts, read 11,817,416 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Inthesierras View Post
That is a sad situation. Why did the mom decline to go to court?
I don't know. Could be that she does not want the girl to have a record or that the girl is about 1 year and 3 months from 18 anyway and she does not think the fight would be worth it.
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Old 01-28-2008, 11:23 AM
 
Location: Seattle, WA
1,368 posts, read 4,513,650 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KevK View Post
I don't know. Could be that she does not want the girl to have a record or that the girl is about 1 year and 3 months from 18 anyway and she does not think the fight would be worth it.
15 months is a long time. I remember being 15 months from my 21st, I'm still 4 months from 21 and it still moves really slowly.

Usually when kids turn 18, any sort of juvie record gets wiped (misdemeanors, etc). This is my understanding and may be incorrect since I don't have any experience with it.


It can't be a good situation. I remember one of my brother's friends ran away from home and stayed with us for a few days. I think it may be best if all parties have time to cool down before they go back to living together. If you have a good relationship with either the mother or the daughter, I'd say you might want to recommend they seek family counselling. Which may or may not help, but it can be good to be able to express things in a safe setting.
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Old 01-29-2008, 11:36 PM
 
Location: Ruidoso NM
1,483 posts, read 1,199,580 times
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When I lived in a duplex comlex, a neighbors son who was 15 moved into a 33 year old womens home with her son he was about 4 duplexes down, she wanted her son home and because she knew where his whereabouts where, The police could do nothing.it didnt count as a runaway. We moved so I dont know if she able to charge the women with sexual misconduct or anything, but I remember how sad I was for the woman.
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Old 01-31-2008, 09:08 PM
 
206 posts, read 338,497 times
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Default Teenagers!

I had the same problem with my 16 year old, but our problem mostly stemmed from some of my family members telling my son, your sixteen now she can't stop you from doing what you want to do. By the way what he wanted to do was hang outside late as he wanted to, not clean his room, misbehave at school and he expected me to just take it because he was sixteen. I let him stay at my family members house until we both cooled off. I went to the juvenile justice center to have him declared as a runaway, got the correct paper work filed on him just in case he wanted to rebel when i went to pick him up. They hadn't sent him to school the whole time he was there living with them. I went to their house, knocked on the door, he said he was not going with me, I gave him the option to either come peacefully or i could call the police....he chose to come peacefully. Oh!!! did i mention that i have a brother who's the same age as my son that had just runaway from home. Sometimes there is really a problem in the home and sometimes they just want to have things their way. As a parent i would never invite someone's child to just stay at my house without the parents consent. I would try to talk to the parent to find out what the problem was and if i could be of any assistance, as far as helping them seek counseling or something.
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Old 01-31-2008, 09:15 PM
 
14 posts, read 52,490 times
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I am currently raising my 16 year old grandaughter and you are not the first to experience this. Without a declaration of emancipation even though they are 16 they are still a minor. You need to step up to the plate and be a parent instead of letting your emotions get in your way. File the proper paper work and assert yourself as a parent the child will thank you in years to come.
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