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What's wrong with giving kids everything they want?
IF children grow up getting EVERTHING they want..THEY grow up to be Tea Party mentality folks who refuse to do anything with out getting 100% of their wishes..
LOL Joking aside..Kids basically have to brought up with that nuance..THEY are good ..HOWEVER..A BIG HOWEVER....They also need to learn their are consequences ( not beatings or depredations either)..but accountable for their actions..(Important to articulate in their language level..It's the BEHAVIOUR or DECISION that Wrong)...and encourage dialogue....Then of course praise when good behaviours surfaces...Balance is..both sides of equations should never be "Over the Top"...
As children grow up..they do learn social morales and right from wrong..Truth and Lies and consequences are far less IF honest..
Then..finally "Consistency" is the key!! You can't allow BAD stuff sometimes..then come down on them at other times...Teach them the difference between right from wrong starting basic..and evolve as they grow, learn and interact with others outside your home ( School/playing in schoolyard/Participating in Sports)....You will do just fine OP
Kids really need to work for things. I know it makes us parents feel good when we can give them everything, but we owe it to them to let them learn that they are capable of doing things for themselves.
Society is making this harder and harder, compared to the way it was. When children get rewarded for merely participating in sports, or when they receive grades that they don't deserve, what message does this send?
Simple things like making children responsible for getting up and dressed on time, or following a schedule, empowers them. If they can have chores that contribute to the family, it makes them proud of themselves.
Why shouldn't they feel entitled to certain treatment and things?
If she is the oldest sibling, she should decide what movie she watches.
Isn't there enough TV's in the house for each child to watch their own movie anyway?
Why can't she pick which cereal she eats? Why can't each child have their own cereal?
And why can't she just do her homework later? I doubt a 7-year old gets much homework that she cannot watch a movie.
And what is wrong with kids thinking the world revolves around them? Every kid should think that!
Seriously!? Is this being sarcastic? No way do children get to dictate. I am an educator and, no, this child is not entitled to her way in these issues. Why does any child need to have their choice of every little thing? What's wrong with, here is a bowl of 'whatever' cereal? Why shouldn't she do homework first? No, every child shouldn't think the world revolves around them as it surely doesn't. They are not ENTITLED.
To the OP. Your question and concerns are very important, especially in our current society. I applaud you for recognizing your role as a parent in shaping your children's social / emotional well-being. You should be concerned. I am currently working in a middle school and the need is great. We have got to do something. I was reading recently where someone said, 'What are you going to do this year to make the world a better place?" There are things we can do. I decided I would incorporate the teaching of these vital skills through literature.
I have for years as an educator with preschoolers used an approach: "For Now and Forever: A Family Guide for Promoting the Social and Emotional Development of Infants and Toddlers", which "supports families in understanding what social and emotional health of infants and toddlers is, how to recognize key behaviors, and how to support children's social/ emotional health in the home setting in simple ways everyday." It is literature based, using children's books, many of them classics, to teach such skills.
Now in a middle school setting, my student population is naturally different in regard to literary needs. So, just last week I ordered/received my copy of "Mind in the Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs". These seven skills are:
focus and self control
perspective taking
communicating
making connections
critical thinking
taking on challenges
self-directed, engaged learning
"This book describes strategies for teachers in their classrooms--and for families at home--to foster these critical cognitive and social-emotional skills." I'm collecting the associated books now. I'm really excited about using the techniques and sharing them with other teachers and parents.
I want to do something to help. Everyday I am surrounded by students who lack these crucial skills and if I can do something to help them, I will.
OP, your children are very fortunate that you have recognized their need and are willing to accept and act on your responsibility to help shape them into the best people they can be. Bravo.
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