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This may seem old fashioned and maybe not something you care to do.
We took our kids to religious services every week and they were involved with scouts. They learned to respect others, work on projects to help others, be responsible, make good decisions, look at the big picture, be patient, recognize right and wrong, and learned useful skills.
I had a friend who was one of the top money people in San Francisco who used the Thanksgiving holiday to insist her kids go to a shelter to help feed the homeless.
Why shouldn't they feel entitled to certain treatment and things?
If she is the oldest sibling, she should decide what movie she watches.
Isn't there enough TV's in the house for each child to watch their own movie anyway?
Why can't she pick which cereal she eats? Why can't each child have their own cereal?
And why can't she just do her homework later? I doubt a 7-year old gets much homework that she cannot watch a movie.
And what is wrong with kids thinking the world revolves around them? Every kid should think that!
No....just no. I agree the OP is a bit much.....but this is pretty terrible advice. The oldest doesn't always get to choose what her siblings watch....having homework done first is what works for many families. You'd be surprised at lower elementary homework these days.....and many kids are natural dawdle-ers....especially if they don't feel they have much control over other things.
Pay close attention to how you react to their protests, whining, tantrums, etc. If you find their displeasure with certain things causes a reaction in you that wants to do something to make things better for them, and you do so, you are contributing to making them feel entitled and that their happiness comes before everything else.
It's hard. As parents we want to make our children happy. But we have to be careful what message that sends. When you give a child something, the next time you have to outdo the last gift if you want to see joy from your child. Don't get caught in that trap. The more you make them earn what they get, the more they will work to get something better.
Why shouldn't she be herself? You act as if she should grow out of it.
And what sorts of unreasonable requests do you want her to say no to?
You have to learn to look out for yourself. If you teach a kid that in order to be a good person, they have to do everything that anyone else wants them to, it sets them up to be taken advantage of as an adult. I had that problem...my mom always taught me that I'd go to hell if I didn't help everyone as much as I was able to, give my clothes away if they needed them (mostly to my younger sister, because my mom wouldn't buy her any and I had a job so I could buy clothes), do anything at work that my boss asked me to, etc. I had to learn as an adult that my time was valuable, that when my boss asked me to work 90 hours a week on salary it was okay to say no, that I didn't need to give things to people if it meant that my own family would go without, etc. I still have trouble saying no to my mother...I almost bled to death two years ago because I was taking care of her and she wouldn't go home and let my sister take care of her so I could go to the hospital. So I have a new philosophy of being a little bit selfish and teaching my kids to be the same way, to value themselves enough to know their time is important and that it's okay to keep their belongings if they are still using them.
You have to learn to look out for yourself. If you teach a kid that in order to be a good person, they have to do everything that anyone else wants them to, it sets them up to be taken advantage of as an adult. I had that problem...my mom always taught me that I'd go to hell if I didn't help everyone as much as I was able to, give my clothes away if they needed them (mostly to my younger sister, because my mom wouldn't buy her any and I had a job so I could buy clothes), do anything at work that my boss asked me to, etc. I had to learn as an adult that my time was valuable, that when my boss asked me to work 90 hours a week on salary it was okay to say no, that I didn't need to give things to people if it meant that my own family would go without, etc. I still have trouble saying no to my mother...I almost bled to death two years ago because I was taking care of her and she wouldn't go home and let my sister take care of her so I could go to the hospital. So I have a new philosophy of being a little bit selfish and teaching my kids to be the same way, to value themselves enough to know their time is important and that it's okay to keep their belongings if they are still using them.
Wow.
Obviously there is a happy medium between being too selfish and too self-less.
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