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Yes? No? If you truly feel like this person is just a crappy teacher and she/he has been rude to you in the past and your child, do you look past it and give a gift bc it's the "season of giving"? Do it bc you don't want your child to know you don't like their teacher.
DD is in Pre-K. I got sent home a letter asking for $25 per student for a class collection for a gift. No clue who this mother is either. I'm really not a fan of class collections to begin with and when DH saw this, he said he did not want to contribute and I sort of feel the same way. After a particular incident last week, I even thought for a minute of not buying her anything, let alone contributing the $25. The assistant teacher, who is nice and does more for DD then I've seen the teacher do, is sick and has been out for weeks, so not sure when or if I can give her a gift. And it was going to be something small, like some candy. Last year dd's school had the most caring, nurturing staff around. I didn't think twice about not gifting them for XMas and end of the year. I did for both and wrote a nice hand written note both to the teacher, assistant and director. This school and teacher is the COMPLETE opposite.
So WWYD? Contribute to collection? Don't contribute and give a cheap/small gift? Or bc you think she's crappy, give nothing? What do I do about the assistant since she won't even be there.
Last year I gave something for Christmas because I wasn't totally fed up with the teacher at that point, but gave nothing for the end of the year because by then I couldn't stand her. I would have given nothing if I'd noticed sooner how bad she was.
If I thought she was a crummy teacher I'd put my child in a different Pre-K. But since your child is there, yes, in order to keep the peace and not possibly draw negative attention to my child, I'd do the "smile and nod" and give a small gift as a gesture, more for my child than the teacher. Hopefully you can find a better pre-K after the holidays.
And you don't need to do a class collection gift if you don't want to. We're all adults. If you don't want to participate in the class gift and want to do your own thing, do it.
I look at like a 2 1/2 hour playdate with her friends, bc IMO that's all this place is good for. You live and learn. Next year she won't be there since this is a private pre-school, not a local district public school.
How would you feel if you were the only person at work who didn't get a gift? Apply that here.
(Hint: be classy for your kid's sake. They are always watching you.)
I don't expect gifts from anyone except those I have close personal relationships with. Like family and close friends. And she's obviously going to be getting gifts from other parents..
Teachers used to get get token gifts from students, then it became maybe a dollar or two. Where the heck the large amounts came from and that parents thought it was okay is pathetic. That should be nipped in the bud and quickly. Wouldnt have gotten it from me and certainly wouldn't be paying the money back to someone you didn't give permission to.
As a retired teacher, I never wanted gifts from anyone. I am also suspicious of where the money goes as in who really gets the money/gift. My suggestion is to not contribute.
I am a teacher. Please don't buy us gifts. Thanks.
I was going to say the same thing. My mother was a teacher and she usually ended up giving most of the stuff away that was given to her. It's a nice thought but I would guess that most teachers don't need anymore candles, mugs, pens, candy and bath products.
I've never been asked to pitch in for a teacher's gift but unless the teacher were the most amazing teacher in the world I doubt I would.
As a retired teacher, I never wanted gifts from anyone. I am also suspicious of where the money goes as in who really gets the money/gift. My suggestion is to not contribute.
Quote:
Originally Posted by melovescookies
I was going to say the same thing. My mother was a teacher and she usually ended up giving most of the stuff away that was given to her. It's a nice thought but I would guess that most teachers don't need anymore candles, mugs, pens, candy and bath products.
I've never been asked to pitch in for a teacher's gift but unless the teacher were the most amazing teacher in the world I doubt I would.
I've heard many times that the teachers don't want gifts. And I've always wondered why, if it's truly the case, they don't convey that to the parents, either individually or as a group via administration.
I am also suspicious of where the money goes as in who really gets the money/gift. My suggestion is to not contribute.
That occurred to me, too. If that anonymous parent is collecting $25 per child, who is accountable if the gift ends up costing much less?
I normally did not think that people may steal from others until a situation on my job. For years a co-worker collected money to buy the food & gifts for bosses day and for showers and things like that. She would always collect (something like) $3 or $4 each for food and $3 or $4 each for the group gift. The food was always good tasting & plentiful, such as a variety of cheese/sausage/crackers, two desserts, a bowl of candy & punch or juice to drink. And, the gifts also seemed nice.
After the first person retired another person took over and the first time asked for the same amount of money. She discovered that the amount that the other person collected was probably about double what she actually needed to collect to buy the same amount of food and the same types/quality of gifts.
It seemed amazing that a fairly well paid professional would skim money off of collections from her co-workers, for years, but it appeared that is what had happened.
I've heard many times that the teachers don't want gifts. And I've always wondered why, if it's truly the case, they don't convey that to the parents, either individually or as a group via administration.
I've never heard it until today. If it's the case, I wish they would let parents know so we could save our money. Our last school went over the top with gifts. I didn't totally mind, they were great teachers. But tuition was quite expensive...seems like the school could have just paid them more. The one that kind of bothered me was teacher appreciation WEEK. Yep a week of gifts. But it wasn't free form. It was mandated what the theme for the day would be.
My kids usually pick a special ornament for their teachers and make a card or write a letter for Christmas. Doesn't cost a ton. Last year my son made a paint your own ceramic type this for a couple teachers.
Part of me doesn't care if the teachers don't want it. It's a great way to teach kids how to think of special people and give from the heart. And foster respect for educators.
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