Checking the private parts at yearly check-ups? (sitter, 10 years old, school)
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Anyhow, I have no idea how she will be able to have a PAP smear done. I have no idea how she will be able to even deal with a period, once she starts getting one. I have no idea how she will be able to grow up and have a healthy sexual relationship with anyone. We're taking it day by day, working on recognizing the OCD thoughts and learning how to ignore them. I don't think it ever goes away but it can certainly get better than it is right now.
I'm sorry. My son-in-law has OCD but it isn't that bad. {{{hugs}}}
Bedside manners with children need to be priority. a physician should keep discretion and dignity in mind when performing the exam. Ours always had a nurse staff for note taking.
Which could be construed as even worse.
I worked in the same peds office for 11 years. One time a doctor (male) asked me to come in the room while he did a "privates" exam on a girl. Many of the adolescent girls in our office went to the woman doctor on staff, at least for their physicals.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Labonte18
That's what is called learned behavior.
The simplest things can lead to it.. "Don't touch yourself there, it's DIRTY!" said with the wrong inflection at the wrong time to the wrong child..
There's worse problems to have. But.. It's something she's going to have to work through, because there are going to by ob/gyn visits.
I don't think you understand OCD. Blaming the parents is not helpful.
I will say though, while I think a 10 yo is capable of telling a ped if she's having pain, itching, discharge or other funky symptoms "down below" she is not capable of evaluating her body at 10. The doctor needs to take a look to check for hair growth and distribution, to get an idea of how her puberty is progressing, ie, is it normal.
The simplest things can lead to it.. "Don't touch yourself there, it's DIRTY!" said with the wrong inflection at the wrong time to the wrong child..
There's worse problems to have. But.. It's something she's going to have to work through, because there are going to by ob/gyn visits.
It's not caused by saying the wrong things to a kid. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain that makes thoughts repeat instead of going away. For example, you might use the bathroom and then think, "I wondered if I got every last drop when I wiped." and you would only think it once, or you would wipe one more time and then your brain would dismiss the thought. But for someone with OCD, the thought will replay over and over. That's the obsession part of it. The compulsion part is what they do to get rid of the thought. Maybe that's showering and changing all their clothes after every bathroom trip. Sometimes they try to avoid the place that's triggering the thought, for example refusing to go into the restroom. The bathroom is only one example. OCD can get into all areas of a person's life.
It can be hereditary. One of my sisters has it and my mother-in-law does too, so it's not terribly surprising that my daughter ended up with it.
I will say though, while I think a 10 yo is capable of telling a ped if she's having pain, itching, discharge or other funky symptoms "down below" she is not capable of evaluating her body at 10. The doctor needs to take a look to check for hair growth and distribution, to get an idea of how her puberty is progressing, ie, is it normal.
Maybe she'll get to the point where it's okay. The doctor she's seeing now is very understanding and not pushy and I think my daughter is starting to trust her. She was willing to see the doctor when she had hives on her hips, so that was progress.
If you read her follow up statement you will realize that I am completely correct. She probably made her childs OCD far worse. I say this as someone with OCD.
The risk of traumatizing a child or seriously messing them up mentally is far greater by forcing them to have a genital exam than the risk of a genital problem actually being found during a forced random genital exam.
The way the child views a forced exam may not be any different than how a child would view being sexually assaulted or molested.
If you read her follow up statement you will realize that I am completely correct. She probably made her childs OCD far worse. I say this as someone with OCD.
The risk of traumatizing a child or seriously messing them up mentally is far greater by forcing them to have a genital exam than the risk of a genital problem actually being found during a forced random genital exam.
The way the child views a forced exam may not be any different than how a child would view being sexually assaulted or molested.
No. You may think you have OCD, you may even have it. But parents don't give their kids OCD by saying "the wrong thing" to their kids. No one is talking about doing a "genital" exam by force. On a boy, of course, the genitals are sticking out there. You just have to ask them to take their boxers/pants down. It's a little different with a girl. To imply that this mom told the child her genitals are dirty, and that's why the child has OCD is offensive, big time!
If you read her follow up statement you will realize that I am completely correct. She probably made her childs OCD far worse. I say this as someone with OCD.
The risk of traumatizing a child or seriously messing them up mentally is far greater by forcing them to have a genital exam than the risk of a genital problem actually being found during a forced random genital exam.
The way the child views a forced exam may not be any different than how a child would view being sexually assaulted or molested.
I agree that the exam probably made things worse. I should have stood up to the doctor and refused that part of the exam. My daughter was acting very shy and scared, refusing to take off her shirt and crying when the doctor lifted it up, and it was a doctor we'd never seen before. That doctor was treating us like we were guilty or hiding something. I was afraid that she would report us to CPS for abuse if she didn't get to do the full examination that she wanted to do. I didn't even know how thorough she was planning to be...the male pediatrician that we'd been going to since my daughter was born would pull down the top of the underwear and check along the top of the groin for hernias (girls get those too, my older daughter had to have them repaired as an infant). So I thought that's what was going to happen to my daughter, and instead the doctor pulled her labia apart and shined a light inside, while my daughter fought and cried. It really did feel like a violation.
It's actually easier now that we have the OCD diagnosis, because she can refuse parts of a physical exam that she's really uncomfortable with, and they don't automatically suspect abuse. We avoided checkups for a few years because I couldn't promise that wouldn't happen again.
So, outside of checking for hernia, there's not a whole lot that needs to be checked 'down there' from say 5 to 11. At least on boys. They are checking for lumps, tenderness, etc in the testicles.. At about 11, they will be checking development.. Not, as OP said, checking for hair growth, but yes, that is something they'd notice.. They're likely more looking for whether puberty has started and is progressing normally. Remember that in boys, the testicles growing generally happens either before puberty or is the first sign of puberty starting. That happens, in general, several years before other sexual characteristics. Testicle growth may start at 10 while the 'normal' things we think of as puberty don't start until 13.
And, with the earlier and earlier puberty that is happening.. It can start happening at 8.
The above is a good example of why a thorough physical exam should include the genital areas as well, IMO. My daughter will be 9 next month and she's already started developing. I noticed the start of breast bud development last May and increased hair growth and darkening. The idea that she might start developing beginning at age 8 was a little surprising to me given that I didn't start developing until I was a 12.5 year old, and neither did my husband. So, I took her to her pediatrician and asked her thoughts and told her I might want a referral to a Pedi Endo to ensure she was not starting puberty too early and discuss options if necessary.
I had just taken my daughter to the pediatrician's 2 weeks before for a pre-camp physical (with a different provider) and if they had examined her more closely, they could have brought these changes to my attention, as opposed to the other way around. In the end, no harm, no foul, but it still illustrates a completely relevant reason to examine that part of the body in a child under the age of 10.
I don't think you understand OCD. Blaming the parents is not helpful.
I will say though, while I think a 10 yo is capable of telling a ped if she's having pain, itching, discharge or other funky symptoms "down below" she is not capable of evaluating her body at 10. The doctor needs to take a look to check for hair growth and distribution, to get an idea of how her puberty is progressing, ie, is it normal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom
It's not caused by saying the wrong things to a kid. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain that makes thoughts repeat instead of going away. For example, you might use the bathroom and then think, "I wondered if I got every last drop when I wiped." and you would only think it once, or you would wipe one more time and then your brain would dismiss the thought. But for someone with OCD, the thought will replay over and over. That's the obsession part of it. The compulsion part is what they do to get rid of the thought. Maybe that's showering and changing all their clothes after every bathroom trip. Sometimes they try to avoid the place that's triggering the thought, for example refusing to go into the restroom. The bathroom is only one example. OCD can get into all areas of a person's life.
It can be hereditary. One of my sisters has it and my mother-in-law does too, so it's not terribly surprising that my daughter ended up with it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katarina Witt
No. You may think you have OCD, you may even have it. But parents don't give their kids OCD by saying "the wrong thing" to their kids. No one is talking about doing a "genital" exam by force. On a boy, of course, the genitals are sticking out there. You just have to ask them to take their boxers/pants down. It's a little different with a girl. To imply that this mom told the child her genitals are dirty, and that's why the child has OCD is offensive, big time!
All missing the point. Telling a child their genitals are 'dirty' doesn't cause OCD.. Never said that it did. However, telling a child with OCD that their genitals are dirty could, and I believe in this case did, have a far greater impact on that child than one who does not have OCD. Even a passing comment could trigger that memory and compulsion. Something that you or I wouldn't even remember or register.
At some point, the child got it into their head that their genitals were dirty. The OCD took that and ran with it to the point where they won't even allow a doctor to examine them.
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