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OP here, sorry I couldn't log on yesterday, I was very busy.
So, we called the woman yesterday. She was very quiet, didn't talk much. Just "I understand".
Our son followed up with a text for her not to contact him anymore and blocked her number. I took a screenshot, just in case, as proof in writing where he says "I'm 16. We need to stop all contact."
He said this was the closest friendship he has ever had. Apparently, they really opened up to each other. He has friends his own age, but it sounds like 15/16 year old boys mostly talk about superficial things.
I asked him if they ever discussed meeting up. He said that she told him they would have to wait until he was 18. This tells me that A) she definitely knew how old he is and B) there must have been some kind of sexual intent, otherwise why would his age matter? C) THEY DISCUSSED MEETING UP!!! This really shook me up.
We are working on removing the landline, which is something I've wanted to do for years anyway. If we see that she has called/emailed or texted him somehow, we will go straight to her local police.
I think you handled it very well. And the fact that your son didn't fight you over it and sent her the text indicates that although he enjoyed the conversations, he was not altogether comfortable with what was going on.
Keep the lines of communication open with your son and let him know how happy you are that he listened to you and was truthful with you. Also, be willing to listen to him talk about what transpired between them. It's tough being a teenager and if he feels like he just lost his "best friend," be sympathetic to that. She is the one who stepped way over the line here.
It would not be surprising at all if she continued to try to contact him, or urge him to let you know if it happens. There was a situation in our city where a teacher was fired for having a relationship with a student and also arrested for something--statutory rape, I assume. The judge specifically ordered him to stay away from her but he kept contacting her, even though his freedom was on the line. Be vigilant but try not to alienate your son.
I have no issue with the parent being involved, my issue is calling the police when you have no idea what they are even discussing, acting like she's some pedophile for simply enjoying playing video games..
I said clearly, trust, but verify, in my first response.. I've got some 18 year old, "talking" to my 14 year old daughter.. if you dont think I guard and watch that relationship, even discussions, you're kidding yourself..
but jumping to the conclusion that they are having inappropriate discussions is simply wrong..
I'll risk being wrong and erring on the side of caution to protect my son. I don't need to extend the benefit of the doubt to a weirdo stranger who wants to chat with my teenage son all night long. What I'd want to do is go to her house and smackaho.
Let's look at it this way:
Assuming the 40yo has noble intentions, what will be gained?
1) The 16yo has a friend 400 miles away
Shoot, tell him to go outside and make friends among his peers
Assuming the 40yo has less than noble intentions, what could happen?
1) Husband shows up less than pleased and armed
2) Crazy lady seduces horny 16yo and gets knocked up. Surprise OP! You're a grandparent now!
3) 16 yo disappears
Just looking at this scenario for 2 minutes and the cons already seriously outweigh the pros.
OP here, sorry I couldn't log on yesterday, I was very busy.
So, we called the woman yesterday. She was very quiet, didn't talk much. Just "I understand".
Our son followed up with a text for her not to contact him anymore and blocked her number. I took a screenshot, just in case, as proof in writing where he says "I'm 16. We need to stop all contact."
He said this was the closest friendship he has ever had. Apparently, they really opened up to each other. He has friends his own age, but it sounds like 15/16 year old boys mostly talk about superficial things.
I asked him if they ever discussed meeting up. He said that she told him they would have to wait until he was 18. This tells me that A) she definitely knew how old he is and B) there must have been some kind of sexual intent, otherwise why would his age matter? C) THEY DISCUSSED MEETING UP!!! This really shook me up.
We are working on removing the landline, which is something I've wanted to do for years anyway. If we see that she has called/emailed or texted him somehow, we will go straight to her local police.
Glad you got ahead of this before something terrible happened.
She may be preying other young boys just like your son. Therefore, I would make a fake page, portraying myself as a 15-17 year old boy, and try to talk to her, and see her reaction. She is old, she must stay in her zone and get with an older man (if she is really going through a divorce0.
That's sick!!!
Not aggressive enough IMO! Who cares what's being discussed? She's 40 & he's 16, it's not appropriate and there's NO way they have anything in common!
I'm 50. I have a 17 year old friend with whom I share an interest in the Titanic disaster. I have a 23 year old friend with whom I share an interest in politics. And I have a 21 year old friend with whom I share a general interest in a variety of topics. So yes, it is entirely possible for people of wildly divergent ages to share common interests.
I'm not saying that the situation discussed in this thread is as pure as the driven snow, especially in light of the OP's follow up. I'm just objecting to the blanket statement that people of different ages can't possibly have anything in common.
I did a search on Facebook of her phone number. She does have the name and age that she told him, but she still identifies as "married" on her FB profile.
It sounds like you handled it perfectly OP, treating everyone with respect. I'm sorry it turned out that she did seem to be interested in more than just a friendship ultimately. Hopefully your son will be able to fill the void with people closer to his age, rather than an object of infatuation. It sounds like you have a great relationship with him & I would encourage him to talk to you or your husband about his loss, as much as he's willing to open up. You already have a pretty amazing relationship with him, in order for him to share this much with you.
Time will tell whether this was an infatuation over someone he felt he had a connection with or something more real on his part. He will be 18 in no time & can do whatever he wishes. Your son sounds very mature to understand & respect where you're coming from. Of course if he wants to continue talking to her, he will find a way, he's almost an adult. So, it's great that you found a way to nip this in the bud without alienating him. I hope that come 1 1/2 years, he'll have moved on with his life & more age-appropriate friends.
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