How to stop a teen relationship? (12 years old, adult, raise, kids)
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My biggest problem is that my husband has such different ideas on how we handle this. He thinks we should let it end on its own and just have a firm set of rules. We are still negotiating what those rules should be and have spoken to the other boys parents who think the kissing and hand holding is fine. They also think cuddling is fine... so were less concerned with the lap thing but said they wouldn't allow it either. To be honest I didn't expect them to see things my way and even if they agree to our rules I don't think I'd let my son over there anyway.
As for their son they still were not that forthcoming but said he lived with his dad and stepmom in Europe for a few months this year. They didn't get on at all and it looked like he reached out for love in the wrong places.He had a relationship where he suffered some sexual abuse. I don't know how far this went but knowing he has sexual experience I just think he should not be near my son.
As for giving out condoms and encouraging safe sex - I don't want to encourage him to have sex not with a broken child. But my husband thinking differently has given him all the tools to disobey us.
I agree with your husband. Your son is 15 and has normal sexual urges and the other boy has already had sexual experience. I know you don't want this boy near your son, and I don't blame you, but you can't stop this relationship. They will sneak around if they have to, to see each other.
I would think that unless they stop seeing each other, they will eventually have sex (if they haven't already) and preparing your son for safe sex is much better than just hoping they don't have sex. At least your son will have protection when the time comes with this boy or someone else.
My biggest problem is that my husband has such different ideas on how we handle this. He thinks we should let it end on its own and just have a firm set of rules. We are still negotiating what those rules should be and have spoken to the other boys parents who think the kissing and hand holding is fine. They also think cuddling is fine... so were less concerned with the lap thing but said they wouldn't allow it either. To be honest I didn't expect them to see things my way and even if they agree to our rules I don't think I'd let my son over there anyway.
As for their son they still were not that forthcoming but said he lived with his dad and stepmom in Europe for a few months this year. They didn't get on at all and it looked like he reached out for love in the wrong places.He had a relationship where he suffered some sexual abuse. I don't know how far this went but knowing he has sexual experience I just think he should not be near my son.
As for giving out condoms and encouraging safe sex - I don't want to encourage him to have sex not with a broken child. But my husband thinking differently has given him all the tools to disobey us.
I hope the grandparents are getting the boy some help to deal with his issues. Extremely unfortunate that this child has been abused in anyway.
Good for your Husband he is being realistic about your 15yr old son and giving him the tools to have safe sex and protect himself. I hope it doesn't happen with this boy but it will happen soon enough with someone. Sexual feelings are perfectly normal and not something to be ashamed of. You are going to eventually have to accept that your son will be kissing and holding hands with a boyfriend in front of you.
I agree with your husband. Your son is 15 and has normal sexual urges and the other boy has already had sexual experience. I know you don't want this boy near your son, and I don't blame you, but you can't stop this relationship. They will sneak around if they have to, to see each other.
I would think that unless they stop seeing each other, they will eventually have sex (if they haven't already) and preparing your son for safe sex is much better than just hoping they don't have sex. At least your son will have protection when the time comes with this boy or someone else.
I agree with your husband. Your son is 15 and has normal sexual urges and the other boy has already had sexual experience. I know you don't want this boy near your son, and I don't blame you, but you can't stop this relationship. They will sneak around if they have to, to see each other.
I would think that unless they stop seeing each other, they will eventually have sex (if they haven't already) and preparing your son for safe sex is much better than just hoping they don't have sex. At least your son will have protection when the time comes with this boy or someone else.
The other boy has been abused. That is not the same thing as a legitimate, consensual sexual experience.
All I can say at this point is that I hope those grandparents will get him some counseling, if they haven't already. He is very lucky right now, because the OP, by protecting her son, is also protecting him from further exploitation. The next time around, he might not be so fortunate.
The other boy has been abused. That is not the same thing as a legitimate, consensual sexual experience.
All I can say at this point is that I hope those grandparents will get him some counseling, if they haven't already. He is very lucky right now, because the OP, by protecting her son, is also protecting him from further exploitation. The next time around, he might not be so fortunate.
My husband said he was having a "consensual" relationship with an 18 year old who raped him. He said the father thought my son was a good opportunity to have a normal relationship. But he clearly likes them older. I think they are stupid to let him date anyone. My son is a good boy but doesn't deserve that responsibility. And I think he is getting counselling - all this information is from my husband not them though. I'm clearly not worthy to hear the truth.
My husband said he was having a "consensual" relationship with an 18 year old who raped him. He said the father thought my son was a good opportunity to have a normal relationship. But he clearly likes them older. I think they are stupid to let him date anyone. My son is a good boy but doesn't deserve that responsibility. And I think he is getting counselling - all this information is from my husband not them though. I'm clearly not worthy to hear the truth.
Good lord, he's 12 now, how old was he during this "relationship?" I agree, it is not your son's job to "fix" him. Also, I mean no disrespect to you, but someone needs to give your husband a good smack in the head.
Good lord, he's 12 now, how old was he during this "relationship?" I agree, it is not your son's job to "fix" him. Also, I mean no disrespect to you, but someone needs to give your husband a good smack in the head.
It is a stupid way to phrase it. It was no way consensual even if the boy thought that. It was in no way condoned by his birth father or his grandparents so they have some sanity left.
You are the parent. End this relationship nonsense. This whole thing is ridiculous. You CAN monitor what your own son is doing...during school not as much but you can do what you can..
Stop interactions with the family as well. The whole thing is just bizarre.
You are the parent. End this relationship nonsense. This whole thing is ridiculous.
Stop interactions with the family as well. The whole thing is just bizarre.
Yep.
Please make the counseling appointment TODAY.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 09-06-2017 at 06:26 AM..
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