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I just found out that my wife is pregnant with a baby boy and now we have to see if circumcision is the best thing to do (this is why I wanted a girl: they are simply left alone.
A little background, I come from a country where infant circumcision is not common at all, so at least for now I'm not too worried about the medical aspect of it as I know that most guys in my country don't have medical issues because of it. My main concern is that circumcision appears to be standard operating procedure in the US.
By what I have seen circumcision is a big thing in American culture; I have heard being uncircumcised is very uncommon here. I really want my son to be fully integrated into American culture and never doubt his being an American. I really want him to be a part of the mainstream middle-class American culture that I felt I could never really integrate into.
Would getting him circumcised be very important in order for him to be able to fit into mainstream middle-class American culture? I repeat it is one of my main goals for him to be able to do this, therefore any type of advice for me to be able to accomplish this with him is appreciated.
Circumcision is done in the hospital on the baby before he goes home. I doubt it means anything in todays culture, I mean who really cares what you whip out in the bathroom? Locker room?
My nephews weren't circumcised. They were on the football team out in VA. I never heard a word of negativity on this issue. They are in their 20's now so that's a recent observation, rather current. Circumcision or not should never be an issue with young boys and I can't see any young kid having problems. And if your son goes into sports it shouldn't be an issue, either.
The main reason to get it done is cleanliness. But just like washing your hands you teach your kids how to clean themselves.
EDIT: I wanted to add that my OB GYN would not perform the circumcision, he was firmly against it. So another doctor performed it. When you are in the hospital you have a say in what you want done. The choice will be on the paperwork and something discussed with the doctor. You can ask your questions on the next check up. You should.
You don't need to do it to fit in. It doesn't matter much either way.
I'd be more worried about trying to deny your child's heritage in the name of assimilation. Despite what the radical right would have you believe, we're a nation of immigrants, and assimilation doesn't mean forgetting where you came from. It means leaving behind the bad, and bringing the good to the table. I mean, I wouldn't discourage my kid from taking AP calculus to suck at math like "typical Americans" just because we're from a culture that yields better STEM students.
The crunchy parents--and especially women for some odd reason--have picked circumcision as their hill to die on. So expect some virulent opinions against "male mutilation." This is total nonsense. Male circumcision is nothing like female circumcision. There is a real, but very small, medical benefit in terms of developing mild and treatable health problems and cancer. The benefit is superseded by your own personal cultural and aesthetic considerations. This is the official line from the AMA, and it is right.
Your son would probably like to look like you, and you might get an odd question or two early on if he doesn't. Judging by everything I've experienced, he'll be fine either way. Make a decision and make peace with it. It's an irreversible decision either way as no sane human male would get it done during a time when they can remember, and those who have it done are very grateful to their parents for doing it when they were newborn.
Oh, but when he's a teen, there's a chance he's going to give you grief for your decision either way. If you don't circumcise, you'll have the comeback that he can get it done on his own if he wants. (Yeah right!)
My husband was very against circumcision, even though he is circumcised himself. I made him do a lot of research on it because he needed to understand this was going to happen no matter what.
He spoke with his best friend's dad from high school. He had to be circumcised to participate in "the war", I don't remember which one. It was in case they were captured, they didn't want any hygiene issues. As a 20-something, he had to be circumcised. He said it was the worst thing in the world and wished his mom did it when he was a baby.
His step father is now in his 70's and wishes he was circumcised. He told my husband several wonderful stories about infections and looking different in gym class...
It came down to the pediatrician. She is of a culture that does NOT circumcise, so I made sure he heard what she had to say. Her recommendation was to circumcise. She said that over her 20+ years as a doctor, she's had many boys having to get circumcised at 6-7 years old and at 11-13 years old because they have issues. Some are hygiene issues while others are just growth issues. She pointed out that it's much easier to just do it as a baby when they won't remember the pain or the event, rather than a 6-7 year old in elementary school or even worse, a middle schooler...
Internet people can't really make your case for you. You need to get personal perspective. Ask older people of another generation. As your pediatrician.
Cleaner and more aesthetically pleasing from nearly every perspective I've asked on this. In addition, my wife who is a nurse, says that older patients have issues with upkeeping hygiene on an uncircumcised penis due to limited physical and mental facilities, which leads to a host of other issues. I see almost no downsides to getting the procedure.
I really think this is a decision the parents need to make together. But its just to contentious of a topic...
This thread will go sideways with fighting and be closed. You can do a lot of research online, but be prepared to be terrified by the people against it. There is a lot of propaganda out there.
Just know, it is up to you and your wife and talk it out together. There really isn't a "right" answer. It does decrease disease and disease transmission. And some people find it more appealing. But then there are people who think its the worst thing you can do, and they have their reasons.
Why is this a topic? If your religion doesn't impose the boy to be circumcised why even bother? men from many countries live long and happy lives not being circumcised while other people from other countries did the same being circumcised.
I recommend you to watch that episode from "sex and the city" where one of the girls has a boyfriend who became circumcised later on in life and left her to enjoy his new found 'freedom'.
I guess growing up in the US in the 80-90s, circumcision was common. That may have changed now. I have girls, so I wouldn't know. But if I did have a boy, I'd probably do it. My husband, who is Hispanic but from here, is circumcised and has not once lamented over his lack of a foreskin. He really could care less. If you're used to not having it from infancy, you can't really miss it. Same can be said of having one, if you are used to being intact then you wouldn't lament about not having a foreskin.
As for fitting in to American culture, while I am a proponent of reasonable assimilation, I wouldn't do it at the expense of your own culture. Every culture should be appreciated, while taking in "mainstream" things.
It does have medical benefits. Decreases the risk of HIV and HPV. Yes, he could use a condom, and he and his partners can be immunized against HPV. But if all men used condoms, there would be no unplanned babies, so we all know how likely that is!
It definitely decreases the risk of urinary tract infection. It also eliminates the risk of infection under the foreskin. I have seen many boys who needed circumcision outside the newborn period because of repeated infections under the foreskin, too tight foreskin that interferes with erections and sexual activity, or recurrent UTIs. And I've heard from nurses in nursing homes that at the other end of life, uncircumcised men have a lot of trouble again with infections and UTIs.
Still, the likelihood is that if you don't circumcise him, he won't ever need to have it done, probably only about a 5% chance. And enough immigrant groups don't circumcise, that he won't be the only one in the high school gym class who's not circumcised. My personal recommendation is to do it, especially for the halved risk of contracting HIV if exposed.
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