parents wondering if should move to where child college is (divorce, smart)
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Jacksonville is a VERY big place. I think you could move there, if it's where you've decided you'd rather be, and still not be on top of your daughter.
Reminds me of a couple who had a daughter that was getting married. The mother ran everything. Including going with the future son-in-law to pick out his tux.
The kids got married and moved to Florida from Iowa. It took less than six months for mom and dad to follow and buy a house right down the street. Mom ran everything as usual.
The couple had a baby and moved to North Carolina. Yep, mom and dad soon followed.
The couple divorced. Scuttlebutt says the son still loved her, but could not abide having their lives run by mommy dearest.
Reminds me of a couple who had a daughter that was getting married. The mother ran everything. Including going with the future son-in-law to pick out his tux.
The kids got married and moved to Florida from Iowa. It took less than six months for mom and dad to follow and buy a house right down the street. Mom ran everything as usual.
The couple had a baby and moved to North Carolina. Yep, mom and dad soon followed.
The couple divorced. Scuttlebutt says the son still loved her, but could not abide having their lives run by mommy dearest.
The daughter moved to Oregon for a new job.
And.....
It wouldn't surprise me if we see a trend of parents moving into dorms with their college kids. that's next.
Reminds me of a couple who had a daughter that was getting married. The mother ran everything. Including going with the future son-in-law to pick out his tux.
The kids got married and moved to Florida from Iowa. It took less than six months for mom and dad to follow and buy a house right down the street. Mom ran everything as usual.
The couple had a baby and moved to North Carolina. Yep, mom and dad soon followed.
The couple divorced. Scuttlebutt says the son still loved her, but could not abide having their lives run by mommy dearest.
The daughter moved to Oregon for a new job.
And.....
Yeah this seems like my in-laws. They all followed eachother out west.
There's no world in which moving to follow your kid to College is not helicoptering, despite all the justifications and rationalizations in the world. She goes her way, you go yours. Or you don't.
BTW, it's fine if you want to helicopter / want/need to save family money on room and board. Keeping tabs on your kid or reducing the overall cost of college is a legitimate reason to move, if it is advantageous for you. Whether it's a good or bad idea depends solely on your situation and the people involved and isn't something I can judge.
But don't kid yourself. No parent moves to an entirely new city just to "have dinner every once in a while."
When I went to College, I saw my family at Christmas and summer break. That was it, and I couldn't have been more pleased. As for my kids... we'll see. I'd like them to strike out completely on their own, but they're too young to know whether they'll be ready, and who knows what our finances will be then.
I sure wouldn't have wanted my parents to do that, and I wouldn't have done it to my kids either. Why not find another place to live for a few years and move to JAX after your daughter has graduated. I suspect you are not being entirely honest with yourself regarding your motivations to follow your daughter to her college town. I know from experience that empty nest syndrome can be hard, but it is also a chance for growth and rejuvenation as a person.
Retiring somewhere you enjoy is not the same as following your child to college.
One should be a well thought out and planned decision; one appears desperate and helicoptering.
Truth. I'm pretty sure my kids would have been appalled if we had moved to their college towns. We had three though, and they all went to different schools, in different states, so it would have been awkward.
Find another town Mom. Within driving distance is fine, but make sure it isn't within a safety zone that will keep your student from independence.
How many parents out there moved to the city where theyre child attenda college? Good idea/bad idea? Thinking about it, but would live far enough away to not be a pain in the ass and be with her all the time as we want her to be on her own as much as possible. We are also thinking of moving away from south florida anyway as we are not happy here and shes considerng jax for college....thoughts??
One of the main reasons students go to colleges in other cities or states, is to get away from their parents. When I did that, it was the most uplifting experience I'd ever had. Just to wake up every day and know that there would be no parents around to put a damper on my life, was delightful. In many cases, if parents moved to the city where their offspring were attending college, the young people would regard it with dismay. Parents who do that would be putting the relationship with their children at risk.
"For many college students, the transition on their minds is to a different college. A 2015 report by the National Student Clearinghouse Research Center found that 37.2 percent of college students changed schools at least once within six years.
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