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My 12 year old son had a fight against a schoolmate at school today. When a teacher broke it up he got a bloody nose whereas his opponent got off without wounds.
His class calls him a loser and winds him up.
What would you advise him to take action that they stop teasing him?
My 12 year old son had a fight against a schoolmate at school today. When a teacher broke it up he got a bloody nose whereas his opponent got off without wounds.
His class calls him a loser and winds him up.
What would you advise him to take action that they stop teasing him?
Thanks for your help!
To stop teasing him? Nothing.
For him to survive? Develop a tough hide.
A thing or two. True in my world but especially true in his world, if he finds a way to vindicate himself, it will probably hurt him into adult hood. At that age, I was trying to get scholarships and had I been going around beating the thanksgiving stuffing out of others, especially those who loved to tease me, it probably would have cost me dearly.
Secondly, remember the lyrics from Martina McBride's "This one's for the girls"
"......This is for all you girls about thirteen,
High school can be so rough can be so mean,
Hold on to on to your innocence,
Stand your ground when everybody's givin' in....."
OP, the only advice we can really offer is that your son needs to learn not to get wind up by others. We can only control ourselves and our actions. The students are teasing him because they apparently can and like to see him spiral out of it. They won't stop teasing until they get bored of it.
Your son does sound like he could use a mentor.
Maybe Germany does year-round schools?
North Carolina does, at least Raleigh Durham. I’m sure other states/districts do as well now. They go something like 12 weeks than have three weeks off. The school is split into several groups so when one is off the others are not, and the teachers follow the schedule of their group. They only do it for elementary and middle school, not high school due to sports, etc. Many studies have found kids lose a lot of ground when off all summer and they end up spending the first few weeks of the new school year recapping last year.
OP to me the problem bigger than fights is they are separating your son as a social outcast. I would try to examine how he is doing socially, is he behind his peers maturity wise, is he very shy or have poor social or self confidence? Does he have a decent amount of friends that are close to him? I had a hard time socially in school, was insecure and needy and really just a little weird, and the kids smelled weakness in me because I projected no confidence at all. When I was about 15, I was accepted by a group, but it was the pot smokers/slackers, but they accepted me so they became my friends. Just saying don’t wait to see if he grows out of low confidence if that’s an issue. Is he seeing a guidance counselor at school? At the school I worked in they had a “friendship group” run by guidance that worked on social skills and gave them a safe place to practice them. Is he in any groups outside school like a sport or scouts?
While I disagree with the “toughen him up” approach of that poster, learning and becoming good at a sport or martial art will boost his confidence in all areas.
OP to me the problem bigger than fights is they are separating your son as a social outcast. I would try to examine how he is doing socially, is he behind his peers maturity wise, is he very shy or have poor social or self confidence? Does he have a decent amount of friends that are close to him? I had a hard time socially in school, was insecure and needy and really just a little weird, and the kids smelled weakness in me because I projected no confidence at all. When I was about 15, I was accepted by a group, but it was the pot smokers/slackers, but they accepted me so they became my friends. Just saying don’t wait to see if he grows out of low confidence if that’s an issue. Is he seeing a guidance counselor at school? At the school I worked in they had a “friendship group” run by guidance that worked on social skills and gave them a safe place to practice them. Is he in any groups outside school like a sport or scouts?
While I disagree with the “toughen him up” approach of that poster, learning and becoming good at a sport or martial art will boost his confidence in all areas.
This is true not everyone is born tough and full of self confidence. And in my grandson's case, he got very good at basketball and volleyball and that's gotten him a longer way in schools and in the eyes of other students.
You need to tell the school to do an intervention. The principal needs to step in. The school social worker/psychologist needs to be involved. His teachers need to make a plan up.
My child was bullied. I called the school a million times asking for help. Then we had a lawyer write a letter to the principal. Suddenly, we got their attention. Sometimes, only a threat of a lawsuit helps.
The following year, we switched schools.
Our elementary school principal helped. I didn't have to ask a second time. Middle school was a different story. My son, the short skinny kid, happened to be helping the largest student in the school with math and writing. That boy didn't let people mess with my son. All he had to do was tell them to not try anything. He was taller than I am! High school was a mixed bag.
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