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I went to the clinic, grabbed a bunch of free condoms and threw them in their rooms.
I can't talk to them about sex. I don't feel that it is my place and it is highly inappropriate. They were able to talk with an uncle. I think all boys should have a reliable, trustworthy male source to consort with such things.
I could not imagine thinking that it was not my place or inappropriate to speak to my son about sex. I AM his mother and, not only did I feel it was my place, I felt it was my duty. There is nothing inappropriate about educating your children, whether they are male or female.
I've always spoken to my children about sex, beginning when they were toddlers. I used proper terminology when discussing body parts or functions. There was never any "talk," just ongoing discussion. They came to me whenever they had questions or concerns. There were times when I wished that they wouldn't be so comfortable with what they discussed, but I was grateful that they sought my advice or opinion, rather than go elsewhere.
I'm always amazed that people think so narrowly when the topic of sex education comes up. It's always about affecting the short-term behavior of teens. There never seems to be much discussion of the need for knowledge that won't be needed until much later in life. It's strange how it's understood that most school subjects won't be needed until much later in their careers, but sex education is almost always intended to be used immediately. In my mind, that is what abstinence-only programs target--premarital sex.
A problem of abstinence-only sex education is that schools are failing to educate about the range of reproductive health issues. Even abstinent teens are likely to marry and have marital relations eventually. As adults, they will need to understand normal and abnormal reproductive system functions, including, but not limited to cancers of the reproductive organs--breast, cervical, ovarian, testicular, penile, and prostate, to name the most critical. Abstinent teens need to know how to do self-exams of the breast and testicles and the importance of regular medical check-ups for each stage of life.
Parents should provide this information, but unfortunately, most do not. That leaves school and peers as the primary sources of information. Even abstinence-only proponents should be able to agree that understanding one's own body and its functions is a critical part of a basic education. Abstinence education does not need to preclude the dissemination of information regarding infertility, endometriosis, and other common reproductive health problems. It has nothing to do with one's political orientation.
Last edited by JustJulia; 05-20-2011 at 07:31 AM..
Reason: Removed quoted comment (copyrighted article was deleted).
My son is 10 and, to be honest, I haven't thought about having 'the talk' with him yet.
If he hasn't asked, he's probably heard from other kids. You might want to ask him what he's heard or seen. Plenty of boys his age have seen flicks they got from their older brothers.
I don't have any kids yet but of course I'd take the Christian moral route... which is, coincidentally, the logical route... and explain why sex isn't a good thing before marriage. Let's face it, an abstinent person never has to worry about STDs or becoming a parent before he/she is ready. Certain STDs, and definitely unplanned parenthood, are lifelong conditions... and it just ain't worth fifteen minutes in heaven to have something like that befall you, especially in this day of HIV/AIDS. I'd surely talk with my kids about protection and what happens as you get older and your hormones kick into high gear... but no form of protection is 100% effective. Again, if you don't want an STD or a baby, there's only one way to be sure you won't get 'em.
Not to mention... sheez, a lot of y'all could back me up on this... sex with a condom sucks when compared to "the real thing".
You're post reeks of condescendingness.
So the christian moral route is the ONLY logical route???
Really so teaching your kids about protection and the ins and outs of everything is not logical?
Telling kids these days to not have sex before marriage is the same as telling a mugger to wait one second while you get out your mace, its going to fall on.
I have been on birth control and make sure a guy uses a condom and I'm careful, I don't have to worry.
Teaching your kids to be smart about things is the right way to go.
-Don't have sex with someone you just met aka no one night stands.
-When you get into a relationship and you start feeling like it might be the time, you both should get tested.
-Get to know the person before you have sex with them so that it won't be awkward to have those conversations.
-If you feel that person is cheating or they are found to have been cheating. Break it off and if for some reason you take them back, have them get tested first.
Everyone even remotely religious that I know....wait...DISCLAIMER: THIS IS MY EXPERIENCE anyways, they all have had this obsession and paranoid fear that if they have sex with someone out of marriage then they are going to get an STD or get AIDS, completely oblivious to the fact you can get tested and you get to know a person before you have sex with them.
My children have been taught about sex education and their bodies since they could talk. Not one big talk but age appropriate information as questions and opportunities arise. My only son and I have a very open relationship and he knows he can talk to me about everything. He is 29 and single and while he doesn't go into detail of course, I am aware of his girlfriends and sometimes even his problems.
With his first long term relationship he confided in me that she could not have an orgasm and somewhere in the conversation he said "It's her problem, not mine". I quickly corrected him by telling him if he truly cared for this girl and was serious about building a long term relationship he better look at it as THEIR problem....not just hers. his father who was quite helpful joined the conversation and we had a conference call for about 30 minutes. A few weeks later the entire family was on the computer helping to pick out a vibrator for them. He was in a dorm and didn't want it shipped to him there and asked if he could have it sent to our house.
He also had a good lesson in contraception and responsibility as did his sister.
My children have been taught about sex education and their bodies since they could talk. Not one big talk but age appropriate information as questions and opportunities arise. My only son and I have a very open relationship and he knows he can talk to me about everything. He is 29 and single and while he doesn't go into detail of course, I am aware of his girlfriends and sometimes even his problems.
With his first long term relationship he confided in me that she could not have an orgasm and somewhere in the conversation he said "It's her problem, not mine". I quickly corrected him by telling him if he truly cared for this girl and was serious about building a long term relationship he better look at it as THEIR problem....not just hers. his father who was quite helpful joined the conversation and we had a conference call for about 30 minutes. A few weeks later the entire family was on the computer helping to pick out a vibrator for them. He was in a dorm and didn't want it shipped to him there and asked if he could have it sent to our house.
He also had a good lesson in contraception and responsibility as did his sister.
I'm always amazed that people think so narrowly when the topic of sex education comes up. It's always about affecting the short-term behavior of teens. There never seems to be much discussion of the need for knowledge that won't be needed until much later in life. It's strange how it's understood that most school subjects won't be needed until much later in their careers, but sex education is almost always intended to be used immediately. In my mind, that is what abstinence-only programs target--premarital sex.
I so agree with this post. I cannot understand why a parent would not want their child to have the information they need to have a healthy sex life. Just because you don't want a child to have sex when he's 14 that doesn't mean you NEVER want him to have sex right? I cannot believe that I am the only parent that wants my kids to have normal sex lives.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lhpartridge
A problem of abstinence-only sex education is that schools are failing to educate about the range of reproductive health issues. Even abstinent teens are likely to marry and have marital relations eventually. As adults, they will need to understand normal and abnormal reproductive system functions, including, but not limited to cancers of the reproductive organs--breast, cervical, ovarian, testicular, penile, and prostate, to name the most critical. Abstinent teens need to know how to do self-exams of the breast and testicles and the importance of regular medical check-ups for each stage of life.
Do you think this has something to do with the view of many people that the act of sex itself is a sin? We are Jewish and do not view sex as a sin. Sex is something that is considered desirable in a Jewish marriage and not something that is merely tolerated to keep the human race going. So of course, I expect that my children will grow up to become sexual beings. They need information about that part of their life. Since I won't be there when they have sex I need to give them the information they will need when they do have sex.
My son is 10 and, to be honest, I haven't thought about having 'the talk' with him yet.
You would be surprised at what 4th graders discuss. Don't think for one minute that he doesn't know something about sex at this age. It is all over the tv. Not just shows but the news programs, even the morning shows! By 10, a lot of kids already know what sex is and to be honest, it's better to have the discussion yourself than to allow misinformation coming from the boys on the playground.
With his first long term relationship he confided in me that she could not have an orgasm and somewhere in the conversation he said "It's her problem, not mine". I quickly corrected him by telling him if he truly cared for this girl and was serious about building a long term relationship he better look at it as THEIR problem....not just hers. his father who was quite helpful joined the conversation and we had a conference call for about 30 minutes. A few weeks later the entire family was on the computer helping to pick out a vibrator for them. He was in a dorm and didn't want it shipped to him there and asked if he could have it sent to our house.
20 May 2011
The day I officially heard everything. The entire family? Even the little girls?
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