What age is it ok to spank your child? First time parent.. (spanking, toys)

[thepinksquid]

IMHO, spanking is never appropriate.

I was never spanked in my life, I turned out OK, thus I would never spank any children that I may have. EVER.

This is the standard post I made whenever there's a "I wanna spank 'em!" thread opened up.

[malamute]

Originally Posted by Stangdrivin

Ok, 1st and foremost I am new to the forum and this site but enjoy it! I have a 9 month old son and as a new parent I would like to think I'm doing well being that I have had experience in watching close friends with their kids and being the oldest of 5 within my family. My son is wonderful, very happy child, sees me and always greets me with a smile no matter what but lately it seems like he's trying to start his own personality and I don't want it going in the wrong direction. If I leave the room instead of him crying it sounds like he's just plain yelling until I come back in which it stops. I take him out and sit him with me while I get dressed in the morning and he's calm. I try to get him dressed and now it seems like he fights me on that also so I dont know if this is the beginning of things to come or if I stand firm will he understand? I think he does because when I tell him "NO" he will notice it and start crying...I just remember as a child me being spanked lightly (old school) as a reminder or as a startle to notice that I'm doing wrong, but at what age is that ok? I don't want him growing up as that child that no one wants to babysit or be around because he's now all of a sudden cranky all the time.

thoughts?

I think 9 months is a bit young and I also don't think having his own personality is wrong for him -- they have to do that.

Spanking should be for the benefit of the child so the right age depends a lot on the child. It should be for things like biting and hitting other children or parents, it should be for dangerous situations like trying to put objects into electric outlets or running off in public.

[BurtsBees]

Originally Posted by thepinksquid

IMHO, spanking is never appropriate.

I was never spanked in my life, I turned out OK, thus I would never spank any children that I may have. EVER.

This is the standard post I made whenever there's a "I wanna spank 'em!" thread opened up.

Well, that depends on your definition of "ok".

[thepinksquid]

Originally Posted by BurtsBees

Well, that depends on your definition of "ok".

I guess you could argue that...

Well, I haven't been incarcerated! I pay my taxes (begrudgingly, perhaps) and I say please and thank you.

[djacques]

I'm very pro-spanking but 9 months is too young. At that age they are still learning that when mommy and daddy leave the room, they won't be gone forever! When my older boy was 15 months I gave him a pretty light tap on the cheek over something he did and I felt very guilty about it. Nothing else even resembling a spanking happened until he was nearly 2. You have to know that they are defying you, deliberately defying you for spanking to be reasonable.

Full disclosure: I have a 9-month-old and I can't remotely imagine spanking him! That would be totally pointless. You can't communicate to them what's right or wrong behavior, so what would spanking them do?

[20yrsinBranson]

Three

I would say that three is the magic number. Two year olds really haven't caught on yet to how things work so it's not really their fault. Of course, if they do something INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS like run out in the road or climb on the roof, then *maybe* I would give them a good solid whack just to get my point across.

But by three, you have a clue what is going on and most of misbehaving is premeditated and intentional at that point, which of course should result in a smack to the back, if you know what I mean. Personally, I find that if you hold a kid really, really tight and stare at them with a crazy look in your eye and kind of growl at them while you say.... "If you ever do that again I will kill you" (like you really mean it), it will generally scare the socks off them enough to think twice about doing it again. YMMV

20yrsinBranson

[ajzjmsmom]

At nine months I would normally take one finger and tap the top of my childrens hands and say "No" if they were into something they weren't supposed to be. Sometimes it may help if he is being cranky and not letting you dress him to whisper something to him and that will make them stop to hear what you are saying. I don't think I ever spanked my children that early, it is easy to make games out of bad situations with kids that age and distract them.

[strawflower]

I've spanked my kids many times before (with 5 kids, the threat of a spanking is usually what gets them to calm down..well when they were younger) but never before the age of 2.5. Children who are 9 mons. old don't know what's right and wrong. Does a 2.5 year old? Yes. If you see your 9 month old touching something, just say NO in a firm voice. Not yelling, but loud enough to get his attention. I will say I did use a fly swatter once with my 14 mo. Not ON him, but I told him not to touch the the vase, and a few minutes later he touched it. I smacked the glass table with a fly swatter and that sure got his attention. 9 month old babies WANT to explore. It's also expected they'll be cranky sometimes. Just go with the flow, and if he gets out of control, be firm.

[FlyersFan]

Originally Posted by Stangdrivin

Ok, 1st and foremost I am new to the forum and this site but enjoy it! I have a 9 month old son and as a new parent I would like to think I'm doing well being that I have had experience in watching close friends with their kids and being the oldest of 5 within my family. My son is wonderful, very happy child, sees me and always greets me with a smile no matter what but lately it seems like he's trying to start his own personality and I don't want it going in the wrong direction. If I leave the room instead of him crying it sounds like he's just plain yelling until I come back in which it stops. I take him out and sit him with me while I get dressed in the morning and he's calm. I try to get him dressed and now it seems like he fights me on that also so I dont know if this is the beginning of things to come or if I stand firm will he understand? I think he does because when I tell him "NO" he will notice it and start crying...I just remember as a child me being spanked lightly (old school) as a reminder or as a startle to notice that I'm doing wrong, but at what age is that ok? I don't want him growing up as that child that no one wants to babysit or be around because he's now all of a sudden cranky all the time.

thoughts?

Spanking only teaches your child to fear you.....is that what you really want ? Its better they listen out of respect than fear. Resulting to hitting only shows that you've lost control and don't know how to handle a situation....anyone can hit......learn to be a "parent" and take some time to learn some parenting skills !!!

[FlyersFan]

Originally Posted by ajzjmsmom

At nine months I would normally take one finger and tap the top of my childrens hands and say "No" if they were into something they weren't supposed to be. Sometimes it may help if he is being cranky and not letting you dress him to whisper something to him and that will make them stop to hear what you are saying. I don't think I ever spanked my children that early, it is easy to make games out of bad situations with kids that age and distract them.

Geeze....at nine months most can't even walk yet !!! At nine months if they are cranky then they want or need something....maybe just to be held......not disciplined !!!