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Nice personal attack there, cupcake. It's not my business how others discipline their children unless they're injuring the child, so cool your accusatory jets and take a chill pill. However, the OP asked the question, and I answered it. He should have worded it differently though, in order to be clear about what he meant.
You're the type of parent that a child grows up to resent, and who will leave you to rot in a dingy nursing home when you start needing your diaper changed and drool wiped off your chin.
Good luck with that, let us know how it goes for you.
Look, I don't know how much clear I need to be...there is no other way to word it and if there is make your suggestion! As far as resenting my parents because they spanked me, I would NEVER leave them to rot anywhere other than my arms while I rot with them. I understand as an adult now why they did the things they did and appreciate it because it raised the man I am today.
I'll give my short answer. Kids are born with their own intelligence and personality.
I have used the tap on the behind to get their attention but only once or twice and in a situation that was life saving to them such as when they were straining against me to run headlong without looking into the street with heavy oncoming traffic.
The rest of the time in training them I would use the phrase "this behavior is unacceptable" which always worked. Kids want your approval.
Look, I don't know how much clear I need to be...there is no other way to word it and if there is make your suggestion! As far as resenting my parents because they spanked me, I would NEVER leave them to rot anywhere other than my arms while I rot with them. I understand as an adult now why they did the things they did and appreciate it because it raised the man I am today.
I wasn't responding to you. You'd realize that if you took a look at the "spank early spank often" poster I quoted.
Ok, 1st and foremost I am new to the forum and this site but enjoy it! I have a 9 month old son and as a new parent I would like to think I'm doing well being that I have had experience in watching close friends with their kids and being the oldest of 5 within my family. My son is wonderful, very happy child, sees me and always greets me with a smile no matter what but lately it seems like he's trying to start his own personality and I don't want it going in the wrong direction. If I leave the room instead of him crying it sounds like he's just plain yelling until I come back in which it stops. I take him out and sit him with me while I get dressed in the morning and he's calm. I try to get him dressed and now it seems like he fights me on that also so I dont know if this is the beginning of things to come or if I stand firm will he understand? I think he does because when I tell him "NO" he will notice it and start crying...I just remember as a child me being spanked lightly (old school) as a reminder or as a startle to notice that I'm doing wrong, but at what age is that ok? I don't want him growing up as that child that no one wants to babysit or be around because he's now all of a sudden cranky all the time.
thoughts?
We regularly spanked our (now adult) children. We did not beat them. We did not whip them. We did not abuse them. And yes, we (gasp!) spanked them before they were out of diapers. It's called padding.
They grew up connecting consequences with behavior. They knew that we meant what we said, and as they grew older they learned fully that it was for their own good. They knew that when we were in a public place, and we told them to be quiet, that the appropriate response was not to scream and throw a tantrum. So they didn't do stuff like that.
Our kids grew up knowing who was in charge, and that it wasn't them. And that gave them a solid sense of security.
We regularly had strangers comment to us about how well-behaved our children were - when they were little. They have all three grown up to be extremely well adjusted, successful and happy young adults. I've asked each of them if they remember being spanked. All three do. I've asked if they felt it was wrong or in any way abusive. All three laughed, adding only that they couldn't believe we didn't spank them earlier.
Two things:
1. There's a big difference between spanking as discipline, and abuse. We did one, but not the other.
2. It's hard to argue with success.
I would think that 9 months is too young to spank a child if you are going to use that as a form of discipline. At 9 months children don't understand something is forbidden or off limits. Once your child understands the boundaries you have laid out and exhibits a willfulness againts those boundaries that's when the behavior needs to be corrected. That's just my opinion, i have a 2 year old that I have never spanked and thinking back to when she was 9 months old.... It just seems pointless to discipline them at that age.
i have two young children, and i have, on occasion, given them a light tap, usually on the backside, where it has been through both clothes and a diaper. and while i have no issue with people who do this, i would say that personally, it made me feel so terrible, that i wont be doing it again.
children, even very young ones, know when you are unhappy with them, and, in my opinion, there is a tone of voice you can use, without shouting, which gets the point across just as well.
they dont like the voice either, but it works, and it leaves me feeling not quite so guilty.
When I was growing up in the 70's, most parents spanked their kids. I don't know what has happened recently that parents can't spank their kids (I don't mean beating their kid). It seems that there are a bunch of entitled and bratty kids/teenagers nowadays.
You know,I can't help but think of my first and only child who was born stillborn,dead.
9 months old. wow,what I wouldn't give to have my daughter,and how beautiful she was.
When I do get to have my next baby,I will be sure to learn all of the great things I can do to prevent myself from ever hitting them.
To see this question regarding a 9 month old baby makes me want to vomit. And I couldn't care less the flak and yakking that will come from others about saying that.
To the op,there's a website called "A Place Of Our Own".
I think this would be the best place for you to ask a question on ideas to properly raise your baby.
You know,I can't help but think of my first and only child who was born stillborn,dead.
9 months old. wow,what I wouldn't give to have my daughter,and how beautiful she was.
When I do get to have my next baby,I will be sure to learn all of the great things I can do to prevent myself from ever hitting them.
To see this question regarding a 9 month old baby makes me want to vomit. And I couldn't care less the flak and yakking that will come from others about saying that.
To the op,there's a website called "A Place Of Our Own".
I think this would be the best place for you to ask a question on ideas to properly raise your baby.
It's unfortunate that too many people wrongly think of "spanking" as "hitting." Spanking is about discipline. Hitting is about anger. Big difference.
As a side note... I've found that most of the "experts" in child-rearing - and a whole lot of school teachers as well - have the most horribly behaved, unruly and nasty kids around.
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