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I AGREE with everything but calling the police....unless hes WAY older!! But even then HE can endup being labled a Sex Offender for the rest of his life!
DONT trust your gossipy friends! To hear my moms friends & others I was the Biggest ***** at that age you ever see...ALL a lie & my mom Never believed ME! Please Dont do that to your DD!! I do think she is at the age she needs you to talk to her. & going to a GYN would be a start.
It's impossible to watch a teen 24/7, but maggiekate makes a good point here. Talk to the boy's parents.
It's always the girl who is talked to and watched and dealt with, but there IS a boy involved. I think the daughter will think twice if the boy is in as much trouble as she is. I think he will be less likely to pressure her.
Here's another good reason to talk to the boy's parents: finding out how those parents feel about it.
The parents of my son's friend had a big surprise when they did this.
They found out their son was having sex with his girlfriend. They invited her parents to their house to have a talk with the kids.
The girl's parents sat in their living room, in front of the teenage couple, and said they didn't think it was a big deal---that the girl's sister was pregnant at a younger age.
Basically having a talk with the girl's parents revealed that the girl's parents didn't care and actively supported their daughter having sex.
That's when they laid down the law and said that he wasn't allowed to go to her house.
And later they laid down the law that he was absolutely FORBIDDEN to even talk to her.
Sometimes parents do have to step in and end these boyfriend/girlfriend relationships----especially if the other child's parents aren't on board.
There have been a couple of times in my children's lives that I forbid friendships soley on the grounds that the parents were utterly stupid.
What do you do when you are told that your 14 year old daughter is sexually active?
To hear her talk, she's waiting until she's out of college but I've been told by someone close to her that she's been having sex with her boyfriend for a few months now. I haven't confronted her because I'm sure she'll lie. I really need advice from parents who have been here before she ends up pregnant.
I would make sure that:
1. She is on birth control pills (or shot, or implants)
2. She has a steady supply of condoms available at all times and understands the importance of using them.
3. Knows and understands that sex has nothing to do with love and vice versa.
As long as she is understands all this then she should be ok. I think that 14 is a little young because it is a dangerous world and I don't know that I would like to think that my daughter is out there, alone, being that vulnerable. I think if it were me, I'd rather have my kid "doing it" at MY house with her boyfriend, than parked out on some dark road in the back seat of somebody's car or on somebody's couch that I don't even know. That's how people get killed and turn up missing. Trusting the wrong people at the wrong time. If she were in my house, at least I know she would be safe.
Who supports a baby and how, they are kids themself, then how do they finish school and go to college. At 14 you are under age and the parents should have some control why it is very important
the boys parents are on board also. If he thinks this at 14 is OK not good-
How old is her boyfriend? At 14 it should not be that difficult to make sure that they do not have opportunities to be alone together.
Yes, the person is a reliable source and it took a lot of courage for her to come to me, so I believe her. The boy is 15 so the police can do nothing.
Unfortunately, there is about an hour and a half between when she gets home from school and I get home. She's supposed to call us when she gets home but has gone to his house, supposedly with his mom there, on several occaisions. I'd quit my job if I could afford to but I can't.
Here's another good reason to talk to the boy's parents: finding out how those parents feel about it.
The parents of my son's friend had a big surprise when they did this.
They found out their son was having sex with his girlfriend. They invited her parents to their house to have a talk with the kids.
The girl's parents sat in their living room, in front of the teenage couple, and said they didn't think it was a big deal---that the girl's sister was pregnant at a younger age.
Basically having a talk with the girl's parents revealed that the girl's parents didn't care and actively supported their daughter having sex.
That's when they laid down the law and said that he wasn't allowed to go to her house.
And later they laid down the law that he was absolutely FORBIDDEN to even talk to her.
Sometimes parents do have to step in and end these boyfriend/girlfriend relationships----especially if the other child's parents aren't on board.
There have been a couple of times in my children's lives that I forbid friendships soley on the grounds that the parents were utterly stupid.
He does not come from a good family. I've met his mother and brothers (no father in the picture) and I'm convinced there is too little supervision over his house so they're supposed to be here or out in public when together.
We made a huge mistake here. When we found out she was sneaking around to see this kid, we decided that we'd rather have them here under our roof where we could supervise them. However, with the start of the school year (I'm a teacher), opportunity to find time alone without parental supervision came into the picture. I always trusted my daughter but, apparently, shouldn't have.
I think it's time to have a talk with his mother and lay down the law. I don't know how she feels but both of his brothers have been in prison before so I know she's not winning parent of the year. We were hoping this would go like most teen romances go and end in a few months. They have broken up and gotten back together a few times. From reading her text messages on her phone, he's broken up with her but she's still going over to his house. That's where she headed last night when we got into an agrument over doing a chore. Her father had to go get her.
Is there a scared straight program for promsicuious 14 year olds?
Yes, the person is a reliable source and it took a lot of courage for her to come to me, so I believe her. The boy is 15 so the police can do nothing.
Unfortunately, there is about an hour and a half between when she gets home from school and I get home. She's supposed to call us when she gets home but has gone to his house, supposedly with his mom there, on several occaisions. I'd quit my job if I could afford to but I can't.
Is there some activity that she could do during that time?
Yes, talk to the boy, too. Nonchalantly hold a branch trimmer in your hand during the conversation.
Seriously, listen to the posters who say it's time for an adult talk about sex and her body. It's also good to let her know that having a sex to keep a boyfriend isn't a good reason, just in case that's the case. Ler her know it is her body, she controls it, and it's important to take care of it.
This is why kids needed to be supervised all the time and should not be left alone. Out in big groups OK but not alone or one on one.
There also needs to be lots of communication. From simple sharing about how you are going and what you did today to discussing moral & religeous philosophies. There also needs to be teaching about the physical aspects including methods of birthcontrol.
Finally a realisation that parental authority is important and both the parent and child must take it seriously. Parents need to take charge and children need to obey. Sometimes you just have to lay down the law.
Of course the parent has the authority, but it is unrealistic to think that she can't 'get around' the rules. My parents were strict as hell I was terrified of my father. It didn't stop my sister from sneaking out at night and having sex.
She was caught, grounded, my dad threatened the boy that he was not to come near my sister again. My sister was stripped of all her privacy, no phone, no door on her room, no going out. She STILL managed to sneak around.
You need to be realistic that kids will find a way if they want.
I AGREE with everything but calling the police....unless hes WAY older!! But even then HE can endup being labled a Sex Offender for the rest of his life!
You say that like it's a bad thing. Bad choices have consequences, and sometimes they're long-lasting.
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