Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Opress? By making parents be parents and know where their kids are and what they're doing? I don't think malls are to be used for childcare.
Teenagers don't need babysitters for every moment they are not with their parents. Allowing teens to have a couple of unsupervised hours of socialization is healthy.
Teenagers don't need babysitters for every moment they are not with their parents. Allowing teens to have a couple of unsupervised hours of socialization is healthy.
I agree
If teens can't be out in the world by themselves from time to time, how are they going to be able to handle independence when they are 18 or 20? It's crucial for teens to learn how to handle themselves out of sight of their parents in order to become competent adults.
What do you do when your 14 year old won't let a relationship go? She and her boyfriend broke up, FINALLY (we figured they'd never last three months). Now she's chasing after him. He, apparently, has a new girlfriend but she keeps going over to see him (Dad lets her go, if it were up to me, I'd have a no contact rule).
Ok, I need to sit down with her and explain in terms a 14 year old will understand that you cannot make someone love you and all the theatrics in the world won't change that he has moved on. Any advice from parents who have, recently, had to do this? She's my drama queen. The world is coming to an end for sure. I'm not really sure how to help her through this but I do need to get her to stop chasing him. It's not helping.
Thanks in advance for your advice.
Just as a casual observation it sounds like this girl has too much time on her hands to think about it. I would suggest that you and dad get her involved in other things that will provide her with quality personal experiences that serve to improve her as a human being. Such things would be volunteering at a senior center, reading to blind people, helping out at a hospice, volunteering at the local zoo or animal shelter (if she is an animal person), even church activities if you lean that way.
Teen agers need to be very busy so that they do not get into trouble. Your daughter's obsession tells me that she just doesn't have enough worthwhile things to do. As an added benefit, doing volunteer work will improve her self-image and put her in touch with people who can teach her that having a "boyfriend" is not the most important thing in life.
Opress? By making parents be parents and know where their kids are and what they're doing? I don't think malls are to be used for childcare.
Parents need to know where there children are and what they are doing because they are responsible for them until they are 18 years old. Any parent who says they "cannot" do that is either stupid or lying. 90 percent of the ills of this great nation would be cured if parents supervised their children instead of letting them run around like wild banshees (no offense intended to banshees).
of course i can stop my 14 years old of meeting her bf...the time after shcool is in my hands...she is not independante to do,what she wants..not in this age...i take care about the time after school and i supervise it properly...i do not need to post a 24 hours guard,we have RULES in my house..my child can not miss school,because i am informed immediately,so the time after school,i take care of this time,i MAKE THE RULES FO RTHIS TIME..i do not need to be every minute near my child,but he has to follow the rules,i made for him..
i do not really undertsand some american parents..kids seem to do ,what they want...at 14 my child does not do,what he wants...if he wnats to leave the house,he has to tell me where he goes and i have to give him green light,but i prefer him to be with friends at my house..it is not a hotel hier,where you can go and come,as you please...and no hang out at friends in this age..i can not supervise at somebody's else house,but i am the boss in my house and I make the rules,not a 14 years old child!!!like i said education,school first in this age..they can hang around at me,at our place,but i keep a very close eye on them...have a bf and sexual activity under my supervision...not possible, stricte ,disciplinate education is important for me...
so in one word,YOU CAN HINDERN your child to have a bf or gf..only if you are a sissy,not involved parent you can not..or if you are a parent like you,who tolerate something like this..guess what,i do not tolerate something like this,not in this age!!..and it looks like i make things great,because he has excellent school grades, he has friends ,who prefer to come over to me,because they know my european mentality and they also enjoy the european lifestyle (fresh cooked food daily, many activities together and so on)..i do not let my child to somebody's else house,only in exceptional cases...he has great conditiona at my place,so he had many freinds in north california,who enjoyed coming to us...that is me,who likes it good,who does not,sorry...
You know, Buburuza, I've read many of your posts on Parenting threads and this theme of yours is likely to make many readers learn to skip over your posts and therefore miss anything of value you might have to add.
Many American parents cook fresh food for their children, discipline their children, monitor their children's activities, and many other things that you seem to imply are only in your corner because you are European. Americans are not some sort of homogenous blob of sameness, and you appear to be very narrow-minded in your view this way.
Isn't it likely that someone assessing all Europeans by your posts alone would come to the conclusion that Europeans are haughty and judgemental and think that they are better than everyone else? Would you think that was fair?
I suggest that if you have advice to offer, you offer it without the inappropriate slurs toward the people amongst whom you now live. If you do that, others might tend to take your advice seriously. Also, remember that your children, in addition to having this wonderful European-style childhood you brag about, are learning from YOUR actions. If you are not a nice person and make it a habit to constantly sneer at others and put them down, that is what your children will learn from you, and that will not serve them well in their future as adults.
Parents need to know where there children are and what they are doing because they are responsible for them until they are 18 years old. Any parent who says they "cannot" do that is either stupid or lying. 90 percent of the ills of this great nation would be cured if parents supervised their children instead of letting them run around like wild banshees (no offense intended to banshees).
Although parents need to know where there children are and what they are doing, doesn't mean that the children shouldn't be free enough to make some decisions on their own.
The more a teens life is dictated to them, the less that teen is able to be a responsible adult making their own decisions at 18.
Teens have to be able to make mistakes to learn how to be responsible adults.
Teenagers don't need babysitters for every moment they are not with their parents. Allowing teens to have a couple of unsupervised hours of socialization is healthy.
I agree....but they need enough positive attention from their parents so they don't make the wrong decisions when their parent's aren't around.
But I still don't think "dropping" a kid off at a mall is productive use of their time.
I doubt that any of the parents or teens here thought there was anything wrong with what they did and I imagine the heartbreak and regret the parents now have for making that decision to just drop them off at the mall. It won't matter one bit that it is a rare and unusual incident to the parents who lost a child.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
