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Going along for the "ride" is a terrible reason to be a parent
You're taking what I wrote way too literally. I'd also like to be an engaged, involved person in someone's life, whether it's to my own child or even someone else's. He just feels more strongly about having his own.
Clinton Township, MI
32
$75k a year (that's gross and includes all income streams)
$230k plus Net Worth but this is only because I'm letting my student loans "ride out" to get the forgiveness within 10 years, if you take the student loans away, I'm well over $280k Net Worth
It would be extremely rare that a parent comes out and says their children were a massive burden, caused undue stress and they wished they didn't have them in the first place. I'm not saying everyone feels like this but everyone can't feel as though children are the best thing that ever happened to the either. It's not socially acceptable to go the other way
Probably due to that same self-selection as the incomes and net worth in this thread
You wouldn't necessarily hear the same sentiments in the DFCS office, poverty-stricken neighborhoods, family therapists office, third world adoption agencies...
The waiting list is long, on average, it takes about two years after formal application process if approved due to not enough housing.
Yes, I don't doubt it, but there are loopholes.
And I didn't necessarily strictly mean government subsidies. I know a coworker whose dad owns a small apt. building and he's renting a 1BR to her, her husband and kid for $1200...which is a steal in San Jose.
You live in Chicago, the deck is already stacked against you for saving.
Housing is crazy expensive here, taxes are really high (and going up! looking forward to the increased sales tax, property tax, uber tax, Netflix tax, etc?)
All of this means the maximum percentage of your income you can save is capped much lower than other areas in the country. As a point of reference, if we were to move from Chicago to Dallas, we'd save an additional $2,000/mo. It's like we're lighting that money on fire to appease the tax gods. Living in Illinois is not worth $2,000/mo to us.
Or in other words, it's a lot easier to save $140k on a $60k income when you're not living in Lincoln Park or the Gold Coast...
Chicago is really not that bad compared to Los Angeles, SF Bay Area, Boston, NYC, & DC.
It's just not politically nor socially correct to tell your 2 kids the following, "Son and Daughter, you were and still are a damn drain on me and your mother financially. We have to work extra hours, take fewer vacations, and we might not ever see a decent damn retirement because of your costs. Plus the mental toil you have taken on our mental health by just dealing with raising you two, on top of the financial strains, sometimes me and your mother want to kill ourselves! Or at least, drop you BACK off at the hospital!"
You can't tell your kids that, but unfortunately, this is the truth for the vast MAJORITY of American families with kids. Only a small percentage have it "all together and organized".
You so silly. There's a HUGE chasm between wanting to kill yourself because you dislike parenting and being "all together and organized"!!!
But, then again, most adults already know this.
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