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Interesting advice given the OPs comments explaining his situation.
I know what it is to truly struggle. We cannot solve all of our problems at once. If he got a pink slip that would be a different story. You'd be surprised how few people know what comes in and out each month.
^^ Uh, yeah. But they're not struggling together. HE is worrying himself sick over HER debt, talking about eating less and finding an additional job.
And SHE:
-- doesn't seems concerned about her husband, the father of her child, AND breadwinner who goes out everyday and commutes over an hour to work, in order to keep the roof over their head that they DO have.
-- doesn't want to work, won't let the grandparents watch the kid so she can even look for work, and talks about a bigger house, knowing the situation they're already in.
Then again there's a life insurance policy on him. So if he dies, she can get that money, and marry the next suck- uh, person she can convince that she's a prize.
I think it is great your wife is able to stay home and care for the kids. You have peace of mind. I am not a fan of debt. I hate it but sometimes other things are more important. Good luck!
I do as well. One of my biggest regrets is putting our kids in daycare at such a young age. Also, a HUGE portion of one's income goes to daycare when they are very young, and the costs are much higher for an infant.
Also, I read back to where the OP mentioned that his wife has an autoimmune disorder. Not exactly making it easy to go out and find a job quickly (especially in teaching), and with a 6 month old to boot.
I'm sure OP appreciate everyone's comment and feedback, but OP is really looking for anything that he might be missing. There is no need to argue about who is wrong and who is right because none of us live in OP's life. You can only understand what it is like when you are in one's position.
Here is my understanding of your situation OP. Like you said, divorce is not an option, it could be for the sake of the kid or whatever reason you deem as necessary to keep the marriage. The debt from your wife is there until you pay if off or declare financial hardship (etc. bankruptcy). You know exactly what your expenses are, and you try your best to cut it down, but it doesn't seem to work.
Here is my comment for you OP.Get a higher paying job if you can, keep looking, don't give up (and I'm sure you are already working on that). Do what you can until you can no longer keep up. This is life, and there's no easy way around it. I saw comments from others about how your wife need to contribute, but that's not something that you may be able to control, so just do everything you can. When the time come and you can't make it work any more, just let your wife know that you done everything you can and there's nothing more you can do. This way, she saw you put up with all these nonsense that she doesn't want your parents to baby the kid, and hopefully, just hopefully, she realize that she needs to do her part. If she still fail to see all the effort you put up for this family, there's nothing more you can do, absolutely nothing.
This is the life that most of us have to suffer (I'm sure most people would disagree with me, and please, no need to argue if I'm right or wrong, please provide comment for OP as a reference). Every mortal human being suffer in life one way or the other, and you just have to make it work for yourself and the people around you.
I wish I have an answer for you, but there is no answer. Even if this problem is solve, there's another problem down the road will occur, and it might be worst or might not be.
Wish you the best OP. I'm sure you will come to the end of the tunnel and see the light.
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